I try to tell her in the sweetest way and she still gets offended. It comes to a point where her clothes starts to smell. She says she takes a bath, but my nose tells me otherwise. I very keen to odor, so just going into her room bothers me. I'm the only person who takes care of her. I work, she's home by herself until I get home, so i Don't know if she takes a bath or not, she says she does. This is frustrating, I can't even touch the subject, she starts saying that I'm offending her. Advice please.
Elderly women don't like being exposed.
They don't like being cold and they don't like being bossed around in a condescending manner or treated as though they are half baked even if they are at the time.
Make sure the bathroom is warm and free of drafts.
Have plenty of warm towels available,
Only uncover the part you are actually washing.
Give the patient a wash cloth to wash the "front" of the genital area, then have them turn around and do a really good job right through from the back if needed.
As each body part gets washed dry and wrap in a warm towel and only do small parts at a time, drying immediately, for example only do one arm at a time not the whole front of the body.
I am in my third month of hospitalization at present and have been bathed in all kinds of manners, some kind and cozy and some i'd rather not describe. I no longer care about modesty but what really got to me in the first hospital I was in was the use of male aides providing the most intimate of care. Personally I can't pee if some strange male is watching me - you might as well put a toilet in the middle of a parking lot with no walls!!!!!!!! Needless to say I am never going back to that hospital again ever. To me that has nothing to do with modesty it is plain degrading.
Anyway back on subject as others have said when you are caring for a loved one with any degree of dementia you just have to be in charge and get the job done even if it means enlisting the help of other family members to actually get them in the shower. Clothes simply get removed from the room and washed and only a small selection left in reach. As long as undies and socks are changed at least daily I see no problem to wearing something more than once as long as it is not stained.