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He is recovering from Heart By-pass surgery. Some times he is able to go from lying down to sitting up ,but not first thing in the morning. I was told to place right hand and arm behind his back and left arm and hand more in front with my hand on his shoulder.He sleeps on the right side of the bed.I tweaked my shoulder the other day and still am feeling it. Any other suggestions?

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Thank you for the advice, my husbands not being able to get out of bed was a short term thing that had to do with restrictions after bypass surgery. He was to use a lounge chair for sleeping but chose to sleep in his bed. The restrictions after open heart surgery have to do with pulling the muscles in the chest and because the arms are put above the head for many hours every thing near the chest is sensitive.He is able to put his shirts on as well as preparing for the day. And In my opinion doing quite well..
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Install a bed railing.
There are many types available, depending on your bed.
Have him roll on his side and grab the railing, pushing up with his lower elbow against the bed.
Help and guide him using the railing as support for both him and yourself.
This takes a lot of the weight load off of yourself as you're bending over.
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Re: Aveeno liquid cleansers- they are mild enough to use 'everywhere'. They even have a 'baby' line of products, if you want it even milder. It is not 'rinse-free', however. ANY chemicals left on the skin will produce a rash, which is why I never use them. To me, it's like "Mop & Glo" for humans. If you can slip a bedpan under their bottom, you can use fresh warm water to pour/rinse off that area. Use a squirt bottle (like a shampoo bottle). Because our family has very sensitive skin, we are not in the habit of heavy scrubbing and using lots of soap/cleanser. A small amt does the job and the friction of a nubby washcloth does the rest. You do need protective layers to avoid soaking everything. A separate basin (and cloth) for soapy and rinse water, also. Once a week or so, I've put her feet in a basin to give them a good wash, rather than doing it every day. Hands can soak in a basin too, rather than washing them with a cloth- it just makes sense- and I use a flat toothbrush to get under her nails. It makes them easier to cut/file them afterwards. Moisturizing feet and hands after washing makes it feel like a little luxury massage and she usually falls asleep after.
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Reverse, this is how the govt caregivers sponge bath dad (and mom when she was alive.) They get a large tub of warm water. With the washcloth, they pour the body wash into it and then scrub down dad. When done, they get a small bowl to scoop up the water and pour it over dad, washing off the body soap. They do it one side at a time. By the time, they're done, the bed is soaking wet. (I've always made it a point to use 2 waterproof zippered protective plastic on their hospital bed mattresses. When they went to the hospital, I changed the first layer if it's tearing) If they don't do a proper rinse, mom/dad would break out with rashes. One cg was sloppy. I just couldn't get rid of the rashes for almost a week. In frustration, I told dad to Tell the cg to wash off the soap good. Because she's not washing it off properly, he's breaking out in rashes. He finally told her. And the rashes started to disappear. Their employer have instructed them not to put lotion, cream or medicine on them. Most of them disregard this - and still put Desitin or A&D ointment.
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my father was released on Saturday from medical rehabiliation. they had used a belt that was strapped (comfortably) across his chest which is sooo helpful in lifting him. they did not send one home so Mom took one of his old belts (he has lost some weight) and buckled it comfortably and loosely around his chest/ upper waist and it was awesome till we got the real belt. good luck.
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Thanks Momcare, do you use that for her front (peri care) areas also? I use dove soap now as I myself just had my 1st UTI and my gyno said Dove unscented only for me. I used to use summers eve and vagisil powder for years, now they say nothing scented, hummm? Is the aveeno rinse free? How do you rinse in bed? I use a squirt bottle and soak the bed/chux when I try bed baths. Thanks
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Hi Reverseroles- the wash we use is Aveeno which comes in a lavender scent and another one with a green cap. Both very gentle and mild, and what I use since we have allergies and eczema that flares up if strong drying soaps are used. Aveeno cream afterward, all over. I find most of those other products too harsh, no matter what they say on the label.
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Thank you bookluvr you are a fountain of information which is much appreciated. Should have just contacted you first and saved myself a lot of time!
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Reverse has her profile in private setting. You can still send her a message thru the HUG. Look below her name. Click on the "Give a hug" and then type away.
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I am trying to post a message on your message board but can't find it, will try again later, can't figure out why I can't see it. If anyone can tell me why, please let me know
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Patrice, Thank you, I do remember Moms pt doing that with her after her broken hip 7 years ago, I should do that! I had to laugh as I also put my foot and leg inbetween Moms when sitting her on the toilet. She can still get those knees together, strong as an ox ! Funny huh. I am sorry you lost your Mom, was it Dementia also, you are an Angel putting make up on her, I am so scared how I will deal with mom dying, I have no idea how or when, if ever, lol.
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Something that worked for me. The physical therapist suggested that i exercise moms legs as follows. Lay her back in her recliner. Take her left leg and move from center point to the right about 5 x then do the same with the other leg. Then hold the heel of her foot and gently push up so she would bend her knee. Repeat on the other leg. This really helped with her flexibility. Before standing mom up (we put a large grab bar on wall for mom to hold onto while washing) I would position her feet slightly apart before standing. It was an honor for me take take care of my mom, the most rewarding thing I have done. Best wishes to you on your journey.
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That would be wonderful!! My mom thought my sons were my dad! When my mom was on hospuce at the end, the nurse cut up the nightgown but kept the neckline in tack. I really didn't like that, thought my mom was too cold. I would just buy large soft fleece like pj shirts and use those. As long as the draw sheet was flat under her and her Pj shirt was smooth, I was happy. At 4am on the day my mom died i put pretty pjs on her, perfume and some makeup. Family thought I was crazy but I know my mom would have wanted to look pretty for her journey! The hospice nurse commented on how good her coloring was after she passed. When I told her she had makeup on, we all had a good laugh.
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Patrice, I totally understand having help! I have help that I hired mornings and if she isnt sick or on vacation, etc she is great. My Mom resists when I try and open her legs to rinse her peri area, legs of steel I swear, lol. My Moms 5'149lbs and she has been in stage 7 of dementia for about 3? years now, she doesnt change and some times I think she is smarter, growing brain cells?!?!?! Amazingly for someone who cant talk, she has one word answers for everything my husband asks her, I think she thinks he is her husband . When I stand her, she stands well with help but cannot move those feet to even shuffle. My grandchildren are 3 and 5. My kids, moms grandkids are all married and have their own homes now but my husband is great helping me at night rolling her to change her. We put the lights on dim, cover her with a large towel and tell her we need to fix her blankets. As we talk to her we roll and change her diaper hoping she doesnt realize what we are doing, it works, no embarrassement on anyones part. I would like to know from momcare what she meant by sewing up her nightgowns in the back. How are they open then? I cut my moms and think any form of fastening would affect her skin right? Too bad we all couldnt meet up and compare at-home caring secrets in person.
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Reverseroles, If I didn't have the no rinse body wash (bought some at Walmart). I would use a little bit of any bodywash and squirt in a tub of water. I would always crèam mom up well afterwards. Is there any chance you could have one of the grandchildren help you with the dressing/bathing. I have had 2 back surgeries and my lifting was really limited on some days. I was very lucky in that when my mom got worse, my sons (twins) had just finished school and were able to help me. They would lift mom into the shower and one would stay in back of shower to make sure she didn't fall off the chair. I would wash, then they would lift her out at the end. Sounds crazy but it worked for us. On non shower days I would was asuch of mom as possible in the wheelchair , then they would lift mom and I would wash her bottom. I was blessed to have their help. I gave up doing showers/bed bathing in the morning and just did it whenever I had help. I took whatever help I could get and was very explicit with what I needed that strong person to do. Resting moms weight on their forearms and not picking her up with their hands under her armpits. You just do things without even thinking cause you have been doing for do long but your helpers will need instructions.
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Patrice, moms wheelchair is a transfer chair and the arm doesnt come off but her feet dont move with her anyway. I position her feet in front of the toilet and sit her down but thank you!
Momcare, I hear what you are saying and I have one person who told me I am crazy, to leave her in bed, I guess I just cant imagine her in bed all day. When we have company, moms grandkids and great grandkids we pull her recliner out and hoyer her into it. She has a huge smile on her face even with her eyes closed. My Mom cant see much, if at all, and sometimes stares with no responses no matter what. But then there are the times I can get her to laugh and move her arms and legs by singing to music.We also have a birdfeeder outside her window for her but once she had her stroke and lost vision, its still there as a conversation piece and I tell her about them. My Mom gets bathed with soap and water on the toilet every morning and she doesnt go in there again, I change her in bed after that. (She does her bms in the morning when we sit her down ) Please tell me what you wash with in bed. I bought those foam soaps but they sting sometimes. I do bed baths sometimes yes, If she did a bm in her diaper I would have a hard time alone pulling her to turn over. I cut the back up a few of my moms nightgowns too!! I wondered thou, if I put snaps or velcro on the back, wouldnt it hurt her? I love ideas, suggestions, anyone in my shoes!!! XO
I would love to post pictures, we should join a private fb group for that!
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Reverse roles, a physical therapist suggested i take the side of the wheelchair off (most just lift off when pulled) to make it easier to pivot my mom when she was unable to stand for a long period of time. I didn't have to lift her as high to get her butt over the arm of the wheelchair. I commend you for what you are doing, sometimes we all just have to do what we feel is right, although this may not be for everyone.
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surprise the problem has resolved it self, though he is doing this a bit early.He had a triple by pass and had restrictions on how he uses his arms. The chest is opened and after the operation it is closed with various stuff. Remember the muscles of the chest are cut to do the opening and need time to heal.
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Hi Reverseroles, now I understand a little more. I have some thoughts that came to mind after reading your posting. You're right, it's good to move her because of circulation and the change of scenery is also good. However, it might be getting to be too much for you (and her) to be moving her out of bed, especially if you're doing this all by yourself. We can hardly get our Mom out of bed anymore, and she hasn't been out of the house since last winter. There are 2 windows in the room and the bed can be raised and moved around enough to let her see out of them. We have a bird feeder and she loves to watch the squirrels and the birds.
We also talk to her and touch her, rubbing her back and legs when we move her, and holding her hands. She likes her feet gently rubbed, over her socks. Lately she is spending most of her day asleep, and even eating seems to wear her out.
If your Mom is kind of at that stage, maybe you could re-evaluate what you're trying to do for her, and whether it makes a difference for her to get her out of bed. I don't know your 'sizes' but from my own experience, Mom is about my own height (5'3") and weighs 110 (to my 160) but due to her stiffness and frailty, and little ability to help, I can't get her out of bed safely. We wash her in bed, and the aide that comes ( a couple times a week) even changes the sheets while Mom's in bed. I've cut open and sewn the backs of some of her gowns, like a jonny gown, for better ease in caring for her. Just think about it.
It sounds like you've been doing this for so long that you feel like there's no other way to go on but to keep doing what you're doing. I don't know what her condition is, or even her age. Is your Mom expected to recover? Is she resisting you because she's strong, or because she really doesn't WANT to get out of bed, or up to the toilet? I don't mean to offend you and I don't know enough of the circumstances to judge, but I get the feeling that maybe the circumstances have changed and perhaps changing your approach is going to be more helpful. Maybe Mom can try to use a bedpan instead of getting out of bed to the toilet? Maybe an adult 'diaper' overnight would save a few arduous trips to the bathroom. Also, maybe the wheelchair could be traded for one that works better? A wider one, or different style might be easier to use with a hoyer. And maybe the hospital bed could be fitted out with the overhead bars that have that trapeze. (They might need to swap the bed for a different one). Just some perspective from another person in a similar situation.
I want the best for my Mom and also want her to be safe, even if it's a little more boring. I also need to prevent myself from getting a back injury. Stay in touch.
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Momcare, my Mom would be bedridden if she were in a nursing home. I was told bhy hospice that 2 years ago and many Aides that I have tried out in my home. My Mom can hold her head up, her legs are super strong and her arms, but her brain doesnt tell her how to use them anymore. The reason I move Mom is because its good to move them, change of scenery, change of seating, and movinghelps circulation, prevents pneumonia or blood clots from settling in her chest I would think. In the summer I even bring my Mom to sit in front of the lake. She has no idea where she is or what she sees, if anything, but??? One never knows, some questions she seems to comprehend so I treat her as if she is just like us (only a ton of work) lol
Medicare does pay for a hoyer, wheelchair, and hospital bed btw, the doctor just writes an rx if its needed. Trying to hoyer someone from bed means rolling them (which is tough when they are strong and resist), to put under the sling, then hoyering into a wheelchair is very hard! Its easy from recliner to bed ot bed to recliner but wheelchairs are a diff story. Also lifting her to the bathroom, how do you remove her clothing, and wash her back, etc, impossible, therefore I lift her on and off the toilet also.
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All these ideas sound like the result of people using their noggins to come up with solutions. I totally hear it about the expense and Medicare does not pay for more than the bare minimum. Here's another suggestion for acquiring a hospital bed. They are expensive, and we had to get one- I learned that some "Senior Centers/Councils on Aging" places (which most towns have) have been helpful re: putting people in touch with other families who no longer need their hospital bed. It's worth a call to the director of each place. And don't limit yourself to just the town you're in. These folks work together and they LOVE to be helpful. If you get a hospital bed, you get the bedrails which help, and the various positions for the bed help you move your loved one with more ease. You absolutely don't want to strain your own back and then be unable to do what you're doing. Don't be shy, ask the doctor to make a referral for O.T. to help you learn how best to move the patient. They can teach you about 'body mechanics' which means how to work with your own strength/limitations without hurting yourself or the patient.
I liked the idea of making your own pulley and winch contraption but most people don't have the faintest idea how to go about doing that, nor do they want to pay what a contractor would expect for devising one. It's a great idea, but if you can somehow get a hospital bed that's got the capability of having a 'trapeze' attachment assembled onto it, then you would have it all in one shot. However, I can't help thinking, if someone "at home" is so weak and immobile, why are they getting out of bed? They sound like they still need to be in a rehab facility where everything is set up (including trapeze beds) to help them learn to move themselves, build strength, etc. Not everyone has the capacity to build themselves back up. But keep asking for help and information, according to your unique situations. This forum helps me, not only with the support aspect, but it also it makes me feel better to offer something [from our experience] that might help even one person see things a new way. Now, go take a break and be good to yourself.
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My grandmother had a trapeze type of hand grip that my father installed over her bed. It was attached to an eye bolt that was screwed into a ceiling joist in her bedroom. (if you are not sure how to find a ceiling joist under the sheet rock, you can get a stud finder from your local hardware store or Home depot. Make sure it is securely screwed into the joist. Attach the trapeze bar by a secure cable or chain to the eye hook and he can grasp it and help pull himself up. My father took this one step farther for his mother. He put a pulley on the eye hook and put the trapeze on a strong cord. He attached a handle on the other end and a family member could pull up my grandmother easily with the help of the pulley. It worked a little like a wench.
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Friendly bed guy. Your suggestions are great but who can afford them? I would love a safe way to get mom out of bed and on and off toilet without lifting. A hoyer is all medicare provides, not even a caregiver.
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If he's been sent home, then he ought to be able to roll himself partly onto his side. Ask or help him to bend up his knees, then tip towards the side of the bed he's getting out of. The knees will help pull him over. Using the portable bedrail that tucks between the mattress and box spring will give him something to hang onto. The 'gait belt' is also a good idea, to give you something to hold. You might also request an in-home PT or OT session just for this purpose- to learn to move in and out of bed safely for both of you. Hospitals and rehabs really should provide this instruction before discharging a patient.
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There is something called a firemans lift which is any sheet that goes across his back and out front thru under both armpits. You pull on both wusing 2 hands or put the ends together and use one hand to pull him forward and one to put behind him as he comes forward. I pull my moms legs off the side of the bed and then I use her drawsheet on her bed and pull her forward.You're lucky if he can then hold onto something and help you, my Moms arms dont work. Look on amazon for bed bars, you can buy things to grab onto also. Good luck.
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Conmom- be careful! Yours sounds like it is a temporary situation but many people are continuously flirting with disaster. OTs are great and their advice should be gotten. However please consider assistive devices so that the person "helps themselves" instead of straining the caregiver- it is much better for both people. If a caregiver gets hurt it may be "game over" for both. Consider bedrails, trapezes, superpoles, Friendly Beds, and anything else that could help. Check out AbleData for lots of ideas but be wary of the cheap junk on the market. Best wishes to you and your husband on his recovery.
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My husband has limited use of this left side. I found that satin fabric pajamas (or boxer shorts) help me slide him into position since there is less friction with the cotton sheets.
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If you are eligible for therapy that could be helpful. I had an occupational therapist come out to show me the best way to get my mom in and out of bed, in shower, etc. makes a big difference when then are showing you the best way to do it in your own home. One visit was all we needed.
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You may try lying him on his side, then lift up-this may be easier for him. With one arm he can hold his body where the incision is. I found its easier to go from lying to sitting in one swoop instead of a little movement at a time. Of course each person is different. A lot depends on your dad's mobility. You can also try giving pain meds or an NSAID if he takes any before he tries to get up. If you had a portable bed rail or a bed assist rail that would allow him to help himself; he could grab onto the bed rail to help pull himself up. If you don't take care of yourself, you can't care for anyone else. Is he eligible for home health services? Check with his doctor.
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You can get a wide "gait" belt, put it around his waist, secure it and pull on the belt. They can be found at your local healthcare pharmacy area at Walgreens or maybe Walmart. Don't hurt yourself and if you need more help, hire someone to help you help him.
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