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He is recovering from Heart By-pass surgery. Some times he is able to go from lying down to sitting up ,but not first thing in the morning. I was told to place right hand and arm behind his back and left arm and hand more in front with my hand on his shoulder.He sleeps on the right side of the bed.I tweaked my shoulder the other day and still am feeling it. Any other suggestions?

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You could try using a 'slide sheet' which you can push under him - usually these things are brightly coloured made of nylon. They're used to help turn patients in bed when they can't turn themselves and I use one of these with my own mum. If you push the slide sheet under him when you want to get him up and use the same technique that has strained your shoulder you should be able to guide him to slide to the edge of the bed and that will mean that you're not stretching yourself. This movement of reaching the end of the bed should provide enough momentum for him to sit up with your gentle help.
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Hi conmom -- Is it possible to get a hospital bed? If your dad is on medicare and you are caring for him at home, Medicare should pay for a hospital bed, which would help to get him more in a seated position and also higher up vertically, to lessen your back strain. Also a hospital "pad" that is around 2' x 3' and can be placed over the sheet, then pulled a bit to help with movement is used in nursing facilities -- in addition to the notes above, which would also definitely help.
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Thank you for the advice.It is my husband and unfortunately we do not have the room fora hospital bed. I put more of my arm behind his back so it was my full fore arm lifting not just my hand, my left arm seems like it is to close to his throat but that is not bothering him.I think he just wants a reason for me to hug him first thing in the morning,but I may be wrong. A couple more weeks till he can roll over and sleep differently,but he is not as uncomfortable as he was just after the operation and home is a good place to be.
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When I had my abdominal surgery, it was very painful to sit up - using my abdominal muscles. I tried different ways to try to sit up. The best one was by turning on my side, and then dangle my legs off the side of the bed (to help me push up) and at the same time to use my opposite hand to push myself up the bed. It helped having a railings, though. But, when I got released from the hospital 3 days later, I found that it still worked on a regular bed. With this in mind, I googled for a YouTube video for your situation.

Google: Tips for helping someone to sit up in bed by UCSF Memory and Aging Center.
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I don't know if this would help. I take care of my mom who had a stroke. I have to lift her out of bed every day. I am 142 pounds and she is 144 pounds but dead weight in the early morning. First I hang her legs over the side of the bed, then roll all the way over onto her right side while keeping my knees very close to the bed. Then with my Left hand under her neck and right shoulder and my left hand around her left shoulder I lift. She also helps by pushing up with her right arm.
Hope this helps. I have wrenched my back a few times and it does take a while to go away. But since I have been doing this, it is pretty easy.
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A hospital bed is a boon. We have a very small bedroom with no room to use hoists if we put another single bed in as well as the hospital bed, so I have a little fold up bed I put down each night, pile with comfy things and make a 'nest' next to my husband. Then in the morning I fold it up again. It means we can still hold hands at night, which is a comfort. The standing hoist is very useful and easy to use. A slide sheet is wonderful for turning him on.
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Sorry I had a typo. I meant to say "and my RIGHT hand under her left shoulder".

Sorry.
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You want to get him to bend his knees, then roll him on his side toward the edge of the bed. Bring his heels off the side of the bed. Put one arm around his shoulders and the other by his hip or under his thigh and sort of pivot his feet down and head up in one smooth motion. There are several helpful sites and videos out there....just google"how to transfer patient from bed". Also, an assistive bed rail would give him something to grab on to to help you pull him upright. This is a half length rail that fastens securely to the bed around the box spring. Where I live they can be rented on a monthly basis, although they are really not too expensive.
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You can get a wide "gait" belt, put it around his waist, secure it and pull on the belt. They can be found at your local healthcare pharmacy area at Walgreens or maybe Walmart. Don't hurt yourself and if you need more help, hire someone to help you help him.
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You may try lying him on his side, then lift up-this may be easier for him. With one arm he can hold his body where the incision is. I found its easier to go from lying to sitting in one swoop instead of a little movement at a time. Of course each person is different. A lot depends on your dad's mobility. You can also try giving pain meds or an NSAID if he takes any before he tries to get up. If you had a portable bed rail or a bed assist rail that would allow him to help himself; he could grab onto the bed rail to help pull himself up. If you don't take care of yourself, you can't care for anyone else. Is he eligible for home health services? Check with his doctor.
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If you are eligible for therapy that could be helpful. I had an occupational therapist come out to show me the best way to get my mom in and out of bed, in shower, etc. makes a big difference when then are showing you the best way to do it in your own home. One visit was all we needed.
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My husband has limited use of this left side. I found that satin fabric pajamas (or boxer shorts) help me slide him into position since there is less friction with the cotton sheets.
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Conmom- be careful! Yours sounds like it is a temporary situation but many people are continuously flirting with disaster. OTs are great and their advice should be gotten. However please consider assistive devices so that the person "helps themselves" instead of straining the caregiver- it is much better for both people. If a caregiver gets hurt it may be "game over" for both. Consider bedrails, trapezes, superpoles, Friendly Beds, and anything else that could help. Check out AbleData for lots of ideas but be wary of the cheap junk on the market. Best wishes to you and your husband on his recovery.
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There is something called a firemans lift which is any sheet that goes across his back and out front thru under both armpits. You pull on both wusing 2 hands or put the ends together and use one hand to pull him forward and one to put behind him as he comes forward. I pull my moms legs off the side of the bed and then I use her drawsheet on her bed and pull her forward.You're lucky if he can then hold onto something and help you, my Moms arms dont work. Look on amazon for bed bars, you can buy things to grab onto also. Good luck.
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If he's been sent home, then he ought to be able to roll himself partly onto his side. Ask or help him to bend up his knees, then tip towards the side of the bed he's getting out of. The knees will help pull him over. Using the portable bedrail that tucks between the mattress and box spring will give him something to hang onto. The 'gait belt' is also a good idea, to give you something to hold. You might also request an in-home PT or OT session just for this purpose- to learn to move in and out of bed safely for both of you. Hospitals and rehabs really should provide this instruction before discharging a patient.
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Friendly bed guy. Your suggestions are great but who can afford them? I would love a safe way to get mom out of bed and on and off toilet without lifting. A hoyer is all medicare provides, not even a caregiver.
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My grandmother had a trapeze type of hand grip that my father installed over her bed. It was attached to an eye bolt that was screwed into a ceiling joist in her bedroom. (if you are not sure how to find a ceiling joist under the sheet rock, you can get a stud finder from your local hardware store or Home depot. Make sure it is securely screwed into the joist. Attach the trapeze bar by a secure cable or chain to the eye hook and he can grasp it and help pull himself up. My father took this one step farther for his mother. He put a pulley on the eye hook and put the trapeze on a strong cord. He attached a handle on the other end and a family member could pull up my grandmother easily with the help of the pulley. It worked a little like a wench.
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All these ideas sound like the result of people using their noggins to come up with solutions. I totally hear it about the expense and Medicare does not pay for more than the bare minimum. Here's another suggestion for acquiring a hospital bed. They are expensive, and we had to get one- I learned that some "Senior Centers/Councils on Aging" places (which most towns have) have been helpful re: putting people in touch with other families who no longer need their hospital bed. It's worth a call to the director of each place. And don't limit yourself to just the town you're in. These folks work together and they LOVE to be helpful. If you get a hospital bed, you get the bedrails which help, and the various positions for the bed help you move your loved one with more ease. You absolutely don't want to strain your own back and then be unable to do what you're doing. Don't be shy, ask the doctor to make a referral for O.T. to help you learn how best to move the patient. They can teach you about 'body mechanics' which means how to work with your own strength/limitations without hurting yourself or the patient.
I liked the idea of making your own pulley and winch contraption but most people don't have the faintest idea how to go about doing that, nor do they want to pay what a contractor would expect for devising one. It's a great idea, but if you can somehow get a hospital bed that's got the capability of having a 'trapeze' attachment assembled onto it, then you would have it all in one shot. However, I can't help thinking, if someone "at home" is so weak and immobile, why are they getting out of bed? They sound like they still need to be in a rehab facility where everything is set up (including trapeze beds) to help them learn to move themselves, build strength, etc. Not everyone has the capacity to build themselves back up. But keep asking for help and information, according to your unique situations. This forum helps me, not only with the support aspect, but it also it makes me feel better to offer something [from our experience] that might help even one person see things a new way. Now, go take a break and be good to yourself.
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Momcare, my Mom would be bedridden if she were in a nursing home. I was told bhy hospice that 2 years ago and many Aides that I have tried out in my home. My Mom can hold her head up, her legs are super strong and her arms, but her brain doesnt tell her how to use them anymore. The reason I move Mom is because its good to move them, change of scenery, change of seating, and movinghelps circulation, prevents pneumonia or blood clots from settling in her chest I would think. In the summer I even bring my Mom to sit in front of the lake. She has no idea where she is or what she sees, if anything, but??? One never knows, some questions she seems to comprehend so I treat her as if she is just like us (only a ton of work) lol
Medicare does pay for a hoyer, wheelchair, and hospital bed btw, the doctor just writes an rx if its needed. Trying to hoyer someone from bed means rolling them (which is tough when they are strong and resist), to put under the sling, then hoyering into a wheelchair is very hard! Its easy from recliner to bed ot bed to recliner but wheelchairs are a diff story. Also lifting her to the bathroom, how do you remove her clothing, and wash her back, etc, impossible, therefore I lift her on and off the toilet also.
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Hi Reverseroles, now I understand a little more. I have some thoughts that came to mind after reading your posting. You're right, it's good to move her because of circulation and the change of scenery is also good. However, it might be getting to be too much for you (and her) to be moving her out of bed, especially if you're doing this all by yourself. We can hardly get our Mom out of bed anymore, and she hasn't been out of the house since last winter. There are 2 windows in the room and the bed can be raised and moved around enough to let her see out of them. We have a bird feeder and she loves to watch the squirrels and the birds.
We also talk to her and touch her, rubbing her back and legs when we move her, and holding her hands. She likes her feet gently rubbed, over her socks. Lately she is spending most of her day asleep, and even eating seems to wear her out.
If your Mom is kind of at that stage, maybe you could re-evaluate what you're trying to do for her, and whether it makes a difference for her to get her out of bed. I don't know your 'sizes' but from my own experience, Mom is about my own height (5'3") and weighs 110 (to my 160) but due to her stiffness and frailty, and little ability to help, I can't get her out of bed safely. We wash her in bed, and the aide that comes ( a couple times a week) even changes the sheets while Mom's in bed. I've cut open and sewn the backs of some of her gowns, like a jonny gown, for better ease in caring for her. Just think about it.
It sounds like you've been doing this for so long that you feel like there's no other way to go on but to keep doing what you're doing. I don't know what her condition is, or even her age. Is your Mom expected to recover? Is she resisting you because she's strong, or because she really doesn't WANT to get out of bed, or up to the toilet? I don't mean to offend you and I don't know enough of the circumstances to judge, but I get the feeling that maybe the circumstances have changed and perhaps changing your approach is going to be more helpful. Maybe Mom can try to use a bedpan instead of getting out of bed to the toilet? Maybe an adult 'diaper' overnight would save a few arduous trips to the bathroom. Also, maybe the wheelchair could be traded for one that works better? A wider one, or different style might be easier to use with a hoyer. And maybe the hospital bed could be fitted out with the overhead bars that have that trapeze. (They might need to swap the bed for a different one). Just some perspective from another person in a similar situation.
I want the best for my Mom and also want her to be safe, even if it's a little more boring. I also need to prevent myself from getting a back injury. Stay in touch.
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surprise the problem has resolved it self, though he is doing this a bit early.He had a triple by pass and had restrictions on how he uses his arms. The chest is opened and after the operation it is closed with various stuff. Remember the muscles of the chest are cut to do the opening and need time to heal.
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Reverse roles, a physical therapist suggested i take the side of the wheelchair off (most just lift off when pulled) to make it easier to pivot my mom when she was unable to stand for a long period of time. I didn't have to lift her as high to get her butt over the arm of the wheelchair. I commend you for what you are doing, sometimes we all just have to do what we feel is right, although this may not be for everyone.
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Patrice, moms wheelchair is a transfer chair and the arm doesnt come off but her feet dont move with her anyway. I position her feet in front of the toilet and sit her down but thank you!
Momcare, I hear what you are saying and I have one person who told me I am crazy, to leave her in bed, I guess I just cant imagine her in bed all day. When we have company, moms grandkids and great grandkids we pull her recliner out and hoyer her into it. She has a huge smile on her face even with her eyes closed. My Mom cant see much, if at all, and sometimes stares with no responses no matter what. But then there are the times I can get her to laugh and move her arms and legs by singing to music.We also have a birdfeeder outside her window for her but once she had her stroke and lost vision, its still there as a conversation piece and I tell her about them. My Mom gets bathed with soap and water on the toilet every morning and she doesnt go in there again, I change her in bed after that. (She does her bms in the morning when we sit her down ) Please tell me what you wash with in bed. I bought those foam soaps but they sting sometimes. I do bed baths sometimes yes, If she did a bm in her diaper I would have a hard time alone pulling her to turn over. I cut the back up a few of my moms nightgowns too!! I wondered thou, if I put snaps or velcro on the back, wouldnt it hurt her? I love ideas, suggestions, anyone in my shoes!!! XO
I would love to post pictures, we should join a private fb group for that!
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Reverseroles, If I didn't have the no rinse body wash (bought some at Walmart). I would use a little bit of any bodywash and squirt in a tub of water. I would always crèam mom up well afterwards. Is there any chance you could have one of the grandchildren help you with the dressing/bathing. I have had 2 back surgeries and my lifting was really limited on some days. I was very lucky in that when my mom got worse, my sons (twins) had just finished school and were able to help me. They would lift mom into the shower and one would stay in back of shower to make sure she didn't fall off the chair. I would wash, then they would lift her out at the end. Sounds crazy but it worked for us. On non shower days I would was asuch of mom as possible in the wheelchair , then they would lift mom and I would wash her bottom. I was blessed to have their help. I gave up doing showers/bed bathing in the morning and just did it whenever I had help. I took whatever help I could get and was very explicit with what I needed that strong person to do. Resting moms weight on their forearms and not picking her up with their hands under her armpits. You just do things without even thinking cause you have been doing for do long but your helpers will need instructions.
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Patrice, I totally understand having help! I have help that I hired mornings and if she isnt sick or on vacation, etc she is great. My Mom resists when I try and open her legs to rinse her peri area, legs of steel I swear, lol. My Moms 5'149lbs and she has been in stage 7 of dementia for about 3? years now, she doesnt change and some times I think she is smarter, growing brain cells?!?!?! Amazingly for someone who cant talk, she has one word answers for everything my husband asks her, I think she thinks he is her husband . When I stand her, she stands well with help but cannot move those feet to even shuffle. My grandchildren are 3 and 5. My kids, moms grandkids are all married and have their own homes now but my husband is great helping me at night rolling her to change her. We put the lights on dim, cover her with a large towel and tell her we need to fix her blankets. As we talk to her we roll and change her diaper hoping she doesnt realize what we are doing, it works, no embarrassement on anyones part. I would like to know from momcare what she meant by sewing up her nightgowns in the back. How are they open then? I cut my moms and think any form of fastening would affect her skin right? Too bad we all couldnt meet up and compare at-home caring secrets in person.
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That would be wonderful!! My mom thought my sons were my dad! When my mom was on hospuce at the end, the nurse cut up the nightgown but kept the neckline in tack. I really didn't like that, thought my mom was too cold. I would just buy large soft fleece like pj shirts and use those. As long as the draw sheet was flat under her and her Pj shirt was smooth, I was happy. At 4am on the day my mom died i put pretty pjs on her, perfume and some makeup. Family thought I was crazy but I know my mom would have wanted to look pretty for her journey! The hospice nurse commented on how good her coloring was after she passed. When I told her she had makeup on, we all had a good laugh.
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Something that worked for me. The physical therapist suggested that i exercise moms legs as follows. Lay her back in her recliner. Take her left leg and move from center point to the right about 5 x then do the same with the other leg. Then hold the heel of her foot and gently push up so she would bend her knee. Repeat on the other leg. This really helped with her flexibility. Before standing mom up (we put a large grab bar on wall for mom to hold onto while washing) I would position her feet slightly apart before standing. It was an honor for me take take care of my mom, the most rewarding thing I have done. Best wishes to you on your journey.
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Patrice, Thank you, I do remember Moms pt doing that with her after her broken hip 7 years ago, I should do that! I had to laugh as I also put my foot and leg inbetween Moms when sitting her on the toilet. She can still get those knees together, strong as an ox ! Funny huh. I am sorry you lost your Mom, was it Dementia also, you are an Angel putting make up on her, I am so scared how I will deal with mom dying, I have no idea how or when, if ever, lol.
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I am trying to post a message on your message board but can't find it, will try again later, can't figure out why I can't see it. If anyone can tell me why, please let me know
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Reverse has her profile in private setting. You can still send her a message thru the HUG. Look below her name. Click on the "Give a hug" and then type away.
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