Where can a person go to get reduced/free medications they NEED to live?

Can't help someone that doesn't want help.

You see why her husband won't pay for meds, she won't take them, what is the point.

I would encourage her to get her house in order, that mess alone can cause mental chaos.

Call the drug manufacturer and ask if they have programs to help pay for costly meds and tell her to ask the doctor for a cheap prescription. Not a new drug, something that has been around for a long time and can be purchased for 4 bucks at Walmart.

Keep encouraging your friend to say no. This is a car wreck getting ready to happen. 54 years old and as vain as can be, sorry I don't think it is anything else. Your friend would be used up and discarded by this person.

I had a whole response done and then I reread your post. This woman is on Social Security Disability? If so she has Medicare and Medicaid. At least Medicare. May have figured her husband's insurance would cover her for her prescriptions. Now her husband is laid off, she needs to go to Medicaid and tell them she has no supplimental health insurance. She should then get prescription coverage. Other ways are Walmart and drug cards, which her PCP may have. I would also have her sit down with her PCP and see if she needs all these doctors. IMO once you are stable with an illness and meds are working, you can lessen ur appts. Maybe every 6 months to a year with labs in between. Sometimes, your PCP can take over the care and you see the Specialist if needed. Also, with too many doctors involved, there maybe drugs that interfere with each other.

No, your friend should not take her in. Not even if the woman says just for a few days, a week, a month. She will never get rid of her. If husband does divorce her and they have been married a number of years, he may have to pay her alimony depending on the state. There is HUDD housing, low income housing. Group homes.

You can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink. I have a friend and at 71 she now is living in a NH and she is dying. But that is not the reason she is there. She is there because her boys estraged themselves for probably good reasons. Now she needs 24/7 care and no one willing to do it. She was too good to ride the Senior bus and Medicaid in home, didn't want a stranger in her house. Expected too much out of friends who have families of their own. It was always someone else's fault. I am still waiting for an apology even though I have sent books, cards and flowers to her since being in the NH. There is some mental things going on too.

Office of Aging maybe able to help her with the Medicaid application.

Your friend should consult her doctor about the medications and her inability to get them because of cost. She may have a caseworker as well who may be of some help. Refer your friend back to the medical community involved in her care.

Ask her physician for a social worker to help with the meds. Also she can apply to the pharmaceutical companies that make her meds for assistance. You can google to find out which ones. If her income is low her meds may be free. Its all online.

No matter what is done to get low cost or even free medications if she will NOT take them they will not do her any good. A pill that costs $100 does the same job a one that is free if it is not taken.
Until she will agree to take her medications nothing that you or anyone does will help her. She has to want to help herself.
I would step away from this and do not get sucked into this vortex. I would advise her aunt to do the same. (although it is more difficult with family) the last thing your BFF needs is to have this woman move in.

MidKid58, I compliment you on your compassion, having just battled cancer, and now attempting to help a friend in need.  

Is your friend in Utah as well, and is she by any chance a Mormon?   They have a variety of different levels of assistance, including some type of welfare assistance.   If she is Mormon, she should contact her home teacher to help identify what the local ward can provide to help her.

I don't pretend to have any psychiatric or psychological insights, but I think OCD is consider a type of psych disorder.    Although it seems as though her life is already full, I really do think that some psych counseling could help her.  

Just guessing here, but I think OCD may arise from some type of lack of self confidence:  she's unable to make timely decisions (no confidence in her ability to make them??), her husband certainly isn't supportive....does she have anything in her life to compliment and allow her to value herself as a person?    I also can't help wondering if that's why she wants to escape from the house.

I also can't help wondering if there's something like a battered woman mental syndrome involved?   She doesn't seem to have anything of which to be proud.

I don't understand her resistance though, other than to accept it might be acknowledging that her life is out of control.  

As to specific suggestions, other than contacting drug companies for low cost or complimentary meds, I'm not sure how much you can do, as it appears as though the first barrier might be to get her to acknowledge she needs help.  

Contacting public mental health for intervention could exacerbate an already unhealthy situation.    Do you think any of her doctors could recommend some psychiatric or other type of free counseling?  Are there any hospitals that offer psych support groups?

You have a tendency to get sucked into other peoples' drama. The grandmother taking care of her deadbeat son's kids, for example. Now this woman. Where do you find these projects? Sorry, Midkid58, but I have to point out that you seem to take on hopeless cases. Even if you found her free meds, you wrote: "...She is on disability, her husband...recently lost his job, so they have no healthcare coverage (altho even when she DID, she didn't fill these meds)..." What is the point of asking for help for someone who isn't helping herself?

Mid; What I'm getting from your post is that this lady is quite resistant to treatment. She doesn't want to SOLVE the problem, she wants to HAVE to problem.

In your shoes, I would offer no suggestions. I would empathize "gee, that must be tough"; "I'm sorry to hear that your psych doc won't see you"; "that must be so hard, taking so long to get ready each day"; "yes, I see the scar; you are very aware of your appearance, I see".

And like that. This lady is not interested in getting her meds; as you say, she didn't fill the scripts when she had the funds to do so, so the problem now isn't about affordability.

Yes, she needs a social worker. I'm quite sure that she has one through disability.

Midkid,
You are someone who cares too much. That can be both good and bad.
Take a lesson from the professionals, which is:
1) " Her psych doc refuses to see her until she takes her meds, but she says she cannot afford them". Refuse to see her.
2) A 'therapy' or psychiatric visit lasts an hour. However, it usually lasts 45-55 minutes. There is a limit for a reason. Limit the time you listen to her.
3) You could support the medication plan by informing your friend that you can no longer listen to her woes unless she takes her medication. You can confront her that it is just not true, she has a false belief and that there are truly free or low-cost meds available through insurance. Even more due to Covid.
4) Get a professional involved (social worker/case worker) to help her apply for prescription drug coverage (Medicare Part D).

Look up things online that can help you decrease your ("stress" they call it) by limiting contact with some people who refuse to help themselves. It is called: "Self-will run rampant".

If your 'friend/acquaintance' is a believer, confront her with love.
The one thing that is believable about her story is that she struggles terribly, and without medication she may continue to be unable to box her way out of a paper bag. imo. She is also not sharing with you the things you need to know to help her.

If she is on disability, her disability income is to be used for her needs only. Even if her husband is her rep-payee to receive her funds, he must spend that money on her needs. It is fraud to divert that money or withold it, or use it for himself. Maybe she requires a publicly appointed fiduciary as rep-payee. You are being played if you cannot know the whole picture.

Can you imagine how much her husband is receiving on his unemployment insurance with the federal benefit of an added $600? If you don't want to go there, and don't want to be pulled into her drama, then stop now. For your health.

My ex MIL also used to throw all her mail into a big garbage bag, then throw the garbage bag in the trash once a week. She claimed the "I hate the mail" deal was a disorder with a medical name to it. She was also a licensed therapist in NYC, believe it or not, charging some astronomical fee to 'advise' her poor patients, while her own life was in shambles.

So...........she had quite a bit of $$$$, the old fool, and it was invested with Smith Barney. She was 80-something at the time and her broker was in his very early 30s, but he was 'in love with her', because hey, who WOULDN'T be? Did I mention she was also a bit of a narcissist? A pretty large bit, actually.

So broker-boy would take her to dinner to get all chummy with her, and caught onto her 'disorder' about trashing her mail. That included her Smith Barney monthly statements, he realized. As he continued to wine & dine her, he was embezzling all of her money out of her account and into his! To the tune of 1.1 million dollars.

When she finally discovered what he'd done after trying to make a withdrawal and finding out she had about $124.55 in her account, she had a fit, as anyone would, and called her lawyer. Fortunately for her, this Romeo had also embezzled quite a fortune from some celebrities living in NYC at the same time, so a lawyer was able to file a class action suit on behalf of all of them. They all received their money back, fortunately for my ex and his brothers.

Tell your OCD friend to stop putting all her mail in garbage bags. Otherwise, the tiny pox mark on her face may wind up to be the least of her problems. No other advice from me, just that.

Thanks for the answers and ideas. I don't know when I will see this woman again, when I feel like it, I suppose.

I'm not really 'sucked into' her life as I am simply a listening ear and while my BFF and "M" are talking, I am usually crocheting or sewing something and just popping in with a thought here and there. I'm mostly there to help out my poor friend who is so stuck with this niece who has so many issues.

I will make the suggestions mentioned and them I will leave it be.

Friend is going to help her clean her bedroom this week as her hubby has blown his stack about how dirty and disorganized it is. I've not seen it and won't see it.

I can give her this list of places/people she can talk to. I'll encourage her to push forward, but I won't help her more than that. I simply don't have the energy to do more and I don't want to.

Mid,

You are very kind. I think that I would pass on this one though and place effort where it was welcomed and appreciated.

She may waste everyone’s time and leave all of you disappointed and frustrated.

Mid, she does probably have mental health issues, but when people act this way, I call them "yes, butters" and "life eaters". They say "Yes, but.... (all the reasons they can't do whatever it is you are suggesting), and then proceed to eat up your time and energy. I'd say your friend AND your aunt should distance from her; it's obvious she only wants attention, and is not willing to do her part to fix anything. I know whereof I speak....

It's my BFF and HER niece--just to clarify a comment. I am not related to this woman at all. I actually barely know her (by choice) and anything I have done or would do is to help my BFF who is the most giving, caring individual. She's also extremely naïve and believes EVERYTHING she reads or hears, so of course when M begins her 'anti-DH rants', BFF just takes it all in. I believe about 20% of what she says and even that with some doubt.

I will see her tonight, I think, and give her the information that you shared with me. If she chooses to do some calling, it's on her, not me.

As far as her religious affiliation-JoAnn--her DH is not a member, so the Bishop would have no place to talk to or counsel this man. Yes, Mormons are VERY family based, and kudos to your friend's DH for being a support to his children after a divorce. That is an absolute MUST---fathers must obey the judge's rulings as far as child support to be held in good standing in the Church. However, as this guy is not a member, he doesn't respect that his wife could use some support--yet I have a feeling that he is not the devil she portrays him as---again taking her problems with a lot of skepticism.

And she has exhausted her church welfare aid. The Church does amazing things, service-wise---but pretty much nobody 'gets to' live 100% on Church welfare--they must 'give back' to some degree. And they can be cut off if they abuse the system. M stopped going to therapy regularly and so she was cut off.

I can give her the info you all so kindly shared with me and then forget about her. I have a family of my own that need me to be there for them, and I have learned the hard way that no good deed goes unpunished--I never want to be dragged deeply into someone's life (who isn't related to me by blood!) again!

Just a quick post to shut this down:
I gave the info I gleaned from all of you, put it down for "M" with the phone numbers and gave it to her.

What she does with the info is her problem, not mine.

Honestly? After doing that I have not thought about her. I feel for her aunt, my friend, but she's HER problem, if she wants her to be.

Do I think she'll ever really 'get better' and move forward. No, but that's not my lookout.

Thanks for the comments and support, as always. Y'all are great.

I was lucky that I worked for a Visiting Nurse Assoc. as their secretary. Part of my job was keeping all County info up to date. Office of Aging sent me a yearly booklet that I could Xerox with their resources. United Way sent me their Calendar of when Government food could be picked up. I had a list of places that supplied free food and a list of all agency phone #s. We even had a food closet.

I learned long ago to help by getting all the info together giving it to the person and its up to them to follow thru. I did this for the friend I have mentioned who is now in a NH at the age of 71 now dying of cancer. I really believe she would not be there if she had used that info. She chose not to.

Midkid, we cannot solve everyones problems. God helps those who help themselves. You have done what you can. Your friend needs to realize this too. I have had to do it with nephew. No matter what I say, he will do it the way he wants. Which is OK but at the age of 71, don't expect me to take you in or be your Caregiver. He is 30 with numerous physical problems that would be better if he had done the therapy and not gained the weight he has. He is borderline diabetic with circulation problems already. But, he doesn't care.

Apply for Medicaid.

Also check out: https://www.needymeds.org/

This site has all the information about getting free/low cost medications. It is a Non-profit organization.

I saw M this week and she was in fine form. My BFF called me and begged me to come for a few hours and 'run interference' for her--she is so exhausted dealing with M. I went, not wanting to, but to support my BFF who is beyond being healthily involved. As soon as M arrived, my BFF started needing to do stuff around the house and kind of breezed in and out---not adding to the 'drama'.

M has 14 drs that she sees. All her issues are co-morbid and that makes treating her hard, I would think. I suggested that she make a list of what 'bothers' her, in order of how bad it is and just slug away at each issue as best she can with her CW, who must have the patience of a saint! She liked that idea. But she won't do it.

She did tell me that she CANNOT handle 'any' exam of any kind that is done 'below the waist'--so, a PAP smear, a colonoscopy, her prolapsed bladder, her vein insufficiency are all just going untreated, because if a dr. touches her 'south of the border' she says the pain (?) is too great and she just screams and screams. (Much more likely it's not pain but mental issues that cause that).

That was news to me. So Drs. are consulted, but not allowed to treat or even touch her. She had a spot on her face (a chicken pox scar, very tiny and not noticeable) which she held a strand of her hair over it when we ate, so we didn't have to look at her 'ugly face'. She was complaining about her skin and I looked closely at her and said "M. all that is 'wrong' is that you have a lot of foundation on. It has settled in the wrinkles and made them more noticeable. I think a lighter foundation and no 'setting powder' would help that'. She sobbed. 'But I have to cover my face, I HAVE to.' So I said, "OK, do what you want, but all you're looking at is wrinkles. And not bad ones." She replied "Well, you'll have more compassion when you are my age" I said, "I WAS your age, 10 years ago."

I did give her the info someone suggested. She had not known she was even qualified for Medicaid, so maybe she'll jump on that.

We left at the same time and she corralled me in the driveway---just sobbing out of control, telling me that if not for her aunt and me she'd had killed herself long ago. I didn't take that seriously, b/c she really does relish the attention she gets.

I came home and did my nighttime stuff and went to bed. She doesn't occupy my thoughts much anymore. After venting here and receiving some great advice, I am fully aware she is not going to change, and she will probably live to 90, sick and unhappy.

I found it sad that although she had just had her first grandbaby---all she said about him was that she didn't like the name. A BABY!! I have 14 grands and I was excited to meet # 14 as I was #1. Somebody who cannot find joy in the birth of a sweet new babe (esp in these weird times!) someone who doesn't even have a PICTURE of a first grandbaby--is seriously messed up.

I will spend and evening with her at my discretion. Venting and getting that out of my system helped so much. Y'all listened and gave me great advice, which I took and I honestly don't think about her. She doesn't want to be well, she really doesn't. My mother was the same way and didn't 'perk up' until she was in her mid 80's. People are so weird, I'll never figure them out.

This woman has a mental illness. Who needs 14 drs. That list probably could be made smaller. Surprised that these doctors have not dropped her because she doesn't follow instructions. Her meds probably need to be gone over too. But, that is not your problem. We can't solve everybodies problem. We can suggest, give them the information but they have to do the walking.

You did good. Its now not your problem or your friends. I backed away from a friend because I gave her all the info and suggested but she chose to just complain. Something will happen that the State will have to intervene. Tell friend to allow them to take over.

I agree, JoAnn. I didn't know there were 14 different KINDS of drs!

She goes to my BFF's house about once or twice a week, just to watch HGTV and have dinner. I go around 6, she shows up any time between 6 and 8. Personally, I find that incredibly rude, to be invited to dinner and then not show up until 2 hours later with some dumb excuse (usually the fact she has been putting on/taking off makeup since noon--I kid you not).

I opted out of seeing her this week and was glad I did. BFF said she didn't show until 7:30 and then BFF's hubby was home from his mtg at 8 and so she kind of hustled her out the door.

She's worse, but she also did nothing between last week and this. I agree, she is very mentally ill and while I am sorry for that, I can't help her.

All I can do is let my friend vent for a few minutes, remind her to NOT let this woman move in with her and change the subject.

Until she wants to change, she won't.

Apply for Medicaid.
Check with Health Department and Social Services.
Some doctor offices have patient advocates that help with purchasing medicines per sliding scale.

I found out she DOES have Medicaid, so that's something. She doesn't open her bills so I surely don't know why she adds that to her problems.

14 doctors, half of whom she refuses to see. So, it's kind of pointless.

I just feel for her aunt, who doesn't understand anything medical. Mostly she needs mental therapy, but she won't, so it is what it is.

It's NOT a medication issue, I've come to understand that it's all mental, and very little the need for more drs. I also don't think she will ever get better.