I posted a few days ago about my 92 year old Father having a suspected UTI and taking antibiotics. It turns out that his urine tested normal so the doctor said no follow up is required. (I phoned the surgery.)
Obviously, being on a course of quite strong antibiotics has wiped him out and he is still very weak.
On top of this he feels miserable and says he feels terrible although he doesn't have any symptoms as such. He doesn't want a doctor and tbh it is doubtful if the doctor would visit.
He already takes Mirtazapine for anxiety and to calm him before he sleeps so I don't know what else could improve his mental state.
We are back to the constant 'oh nos' and 'oh dear oh dears' which he is doing constantly and when I ask he says there is nothing wrong.
The morning carer also noted this and asked him what is wrong as he does it all the time she is washing him and dressing him. Again, he says nothing.
Social services called yesterday to say that the care agency had contacted them to say they are having difficulty washing and shaving him in a 30 minute call and they are upping this to 45 minutes a day. Actually he pays for the carer but I think there is a small discount if it is via social services.
I asked them about respite and they said this would not be funded due to cut backs at the moment, so I have drawn a blank there.
His state of mind is really starting to affect mine and the last two days I didn't even go out of the house as I felt so drained and lethargic.
His house may need to be sold to finance his stay in Board & Care, or a residential care home of that nature. Unless he has funds to finance it w/o the sale of his home. I don't know how things work in the UK (I am in the USA) but we do have posters who live in England who will pipe in shortly, I'm sure.
No matter what, you can't 'fix' advanced old age nor can you absorb his negativity and bear it for him. He's weak and tired, and rightly so, at his age. You may want to check with his MD for an Rx to address his depression, however. My 90 year old dad did quite well with Zoloft; my 94 y/o mother has been taking Wellbutrin for 10 years now & it does help her moods somewhat, although she's still a huge negative Nelly all the time. If your dad is a 'glass half empty' kind of person, no anti-depressant on earth will fix that aspect of his personality. If he's sad and weepy, well then, an anti-depressant can really do the trick!
Wishing you the best of luck figuring out how to help dad and get back to living your own life!
I will look at other options and try to find another way.
He is weak and tired, but I am also exhausted so I think the first step is for me to work on my own wellbeing.
He isn't normally a half glass empty person, nor is he negative but his anguish is more sad and weepy so the doctor may be able to help by prescribing an anti-depressant.
I really benefited from watching Teepa Snow videos on YouTube. She does an excellent job of helping people to understand how dementia changes our LOs and why, and how to better engage with them so that you're not fighting an uphill battle or reinventing the wheel every day.
I agree with lealonnie1 that the way you see him now is not how he'll be in the near future, so really you do need to help him make a long-term, permanent plan. I'm also in the U.S. so can't give any input on what resources are available but others on this forum will.
I will try to reassess how he can be cared for and also work on taking care of my own mental health so that it doesn't drag me down. I am just feeling exhausted at the moment so that isn't helping.
I will look at other options and try to find another way.
He is weak and tired, but I am also exhausted so I think the first step is for me to work on my own wellbeing.
He isn't normally a half glass empty person, nor is he negative but his anguish is more sad and weepy so the doctor may be able to help by prescribing an anti-depressant.
I'm so sorry. I don't have advice, only empathy!
cared for and not in any physical distress so all is good.
If he is Home Bound you should be able to have a Nurse visit and an Aide to clean him 2-3 times a week.
That's about all they pay for unless you go to a Senior Home to live.
If he is feeling like he always has to "pee" he may be suffering from an enlarged prostate, Ask his doctor to evaluate this or to make a referral to a urologist for evaluation and treatment.
I spoke to his GP about the possibility of a geriatric psychiatrist evaluating him and he said it wasn’t possible.
I’m just wondering if you could coach him to make his verbalisations something more positive, eg ‘great stuff’. I’m sure that politicians with this speech habit have to be coaxed out of it, and I wonder if some poster knows or has read about how it’s done.