She can't make it to the bathroom and we clean the carpet once a week. Bought her an alarm necklace but refuses to wear it. Have apartment cleaned 2x's week. She fell in the shower, no necklace on of course, shower leaked into hallway that's how they discovered her. Fire department came, took 1hr to lift her into chair, she's 5'1'' weighs 300lbs. They asked my brother is this how you take care of your mother? She had boxes piled on her stove, fire hazard, garbage all over on the floor. She just tosses them and will walk over them. Bowels all over the place and flies so thick. Later discovered they were sewer flies from shower drain because of her going to the bathroom to shower and use to get urine and bowels off. She'll cancel the cleaning lady from senior alliance if she doesn't feel like getting up. What should we do???
Has she ever been checked for a UTI? Those are very common in elderly women and can cause symptoms like confusion, behavior changes and cognitive problems but an be cleared up with antibiotics.
My Doctor told me, people have the *Right to Rot* if deemed mentally capable of making & understanding decisions regarding their living arrangements.
Such a hard situation, for everyone involved!
This is what I have been told is the pathway where I live;
Step 1. Involve Social Services (our version of APS) for investigation for self-neglect. If severe squalor, transfer will be made to hospital for full physical & neuro/pscyh review. If deemed *capable* - home with arranged home services (cleaning, personal care). If she cancels services, back to Step 1.
If/when not deemed capable, Guardianship applied & appointed. This could be family or non-family. Guardian then authorises transfer to appropriate residential care (MC if the $, or NH).
A Social Worker specialising in this area would be of great benefit to advise & assist.
It's a canoe up the brown creek. Only you can decide how far to keep paddling the canoe for your Mother or whether to get out now & call for help.