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Thank you for your reply. Before I report anything I think I will try just distancing from the individuals involved in behavior. If it continues or gets worse I will report it. Sometimes escalating things can just make them worse.
Why is your sister in a NH? Does she have dementia or any short-term memory impairment?
I'm asking because people with dementia often will have confabulations about what's going on around them. Paranoia is a very common behavior for people with early dementia. It doesn't have to be every day, all the time. My 95-yr old Mom has it about once every 1 or 2 weeks now. Last year she never had it. It's disturbing because you cannot convince her that she is mistaken in her beliefs, even when I show her proofs (and it's ususally about me managing her finances).
Please consider she is not telling you something accurate. It would be a shame to cause problems for those CNAs unjustly.
If they’re doing it even while a family members are around, who knows what goes on when you’re not there. I’d raise all hell with everyone up the chain of command.
NeedHelpWithMom has suggested that you go to the administration with your complaint. I second that. You have replied that you will distance yourself from this rather than rock the boat at present, in fears that reporting it may escalate it, but anyone who is hateful enough to make racist remarks, and those--as you tell us --right in FRONT of you is, in my opinion, dangerous.
I would definitely go to the administration. I would tell them that I am placing camera's in my Sister's room and I would tell them exactly why. I would ask that my report of these remarks be scanned to her chart and tell them that anything further will lead to your reporting the matter to police.
You don't give details. If you're not comfortable with doing so I fully understand. But if you witnessed this it is awful.
You don't tell us why your sister is in care. Does she have dementia or is she fully capable of reporting to you on this?
I would at the least have these people you WITNESSED drawn into the DON's office with you and her and speak with them directly. Hate speech as a crime is a difficult call legally because of the "Freedom of Speech" laws. But this should/could result in a firing of personnel in the case of someone helpless before such abuse.
I am so sorry this has happened to you and your Sis.
They are saying things right in front of you? I would have reported it. This is unexceptable and unprofessional. Did you not ask why they thought this was appropriate. Is your sister the only person of her race/ethnicity in the facility. I wonder how she is treated when ur not around. Maybe you should find another facility. Ibwould contact the Ombudsman too.
Is your sister receiving decent and adequate care in the nursing home? Realistically this is about all that can be expected from most nursing homes. If she is, then maybe it would be a good idea for both of you to ignore any racist comments you may or may not have heard. Brandishing the social justice warrior sword can backfire and your sister will be the one who pays the price because there could be retaliation in the form of less care or poorer quality care.
What state is this nursing home in? I find that most nursing home CNA jobs are held by foreign people of color. If you and your sister are white women and claim that staff members of color are making racial remarks, you will probably get labeled 'Karens' by the staff and the administration behind your backs. Then your sister's care can be reduced.
The CNA staff are the people who do actual the labor work in nursing homes which is the hands-on care. It's not the nurses, or the social workers, or the administrative staff. It's the CNA staff. So your best bet would be to stay on the good side of these people for your sister's sake.
I'm not trying to be harsh to you but this is the reality in nursing homes. There can be a lot of petty behavior and the patients are the ones who suffer for it.
Then look for a different facility to put her in if you don't think the one she's in right for her.
I would be so surprised to learn/hear that the woman who is having cruel remarks made is a white woman.
First of all, we Caucasians ARE, imho, the privileged of our society and we KNOW it, so remarks made to us about being a "Karen" or a "honkie" or a "cracker" are about as hurtful as water over a duck's back.
As to just accepting this? If someone is cruel enough to make a racist remark to a helpless resident of a care center I just wonder what they do when the lights are out. To me the though of being in the hands of such a person is terrifying.
Unfortunate, I DO AGREE that bringing this forward may further endanger sister. I think that is everyone's fear here.
No one in a professional capacity should be making racists remarks. I could have gotten fired for doing that at even an office job. It works both ways and if it doesn't, it should. It does not say much for a facility that would allow it.
I think an investigation should be done. Not accusing anyone. The aides should be asked why they are doing it. You may find that when your not around your sister is using racial slurs and the aides are just reciprocating. Just tell the DON what you have heard and wonder why ur sister is being talked to this way. Or ask the aide why she feels the need to talk to ur sister this way. Don't accuse, just ask. By not saying anything, you are allowing it.
Abuse of ANY kind is not allowed and should not be tolerated. And abuse of any kind should be reported not just to the facility but to your States Abuse hotline number. There is an Ombudsman's office in every state. Have you heard the remarks made to her? If so you can report them.
I also wonder... If someone thinks that racist comments are alright are they verbally abusing others and is there other abuse going on Physical? Mental/emotional? Are they denying food? drink? Are they using restraints of any kind?
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
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APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
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This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
If so, she should speak up and ask the staff to stop making racial remarks. She should be honest and tell them that she is offended.
She could also speak with the DON in the facility about their comments.
Is she afraid of retaliation from the staff? Hopefully, the DON will handle this situation in a professional manner.
Wishing you and your sister all the best.
I'm asking because people with dementia often will have confabulations about what's going on around them. Paranoia is a very common behavior for people with early dementia. It doesn't have to be every day, all the time. My 95-yr old Mom has it about once every 1 or 2 weeks now. Last year she never had it. It's disturbing because you cannot convince her that she is mistaken in her beliefs, even when I show her proofs (and it's ususally about me managing her finances).
Please consider she is not telling you something accurate. It would be a shame to cause problems for those CNAs unjustly.
I second that.
You have replied that you will distance yourself from this rather than rock the boat at present, in fears that reporting it may escalate it, but anyone who is hateful enough to make racist remarks, and those--as you tell us --right in FRONT of you is, in my opinion, dangerous.
I would definitely go to the administration. I would tell them that I am placing camera's in my Sister's room and I would tell them exactly why. I would ask that my report of these remarks be scanned to her chart and tell them that anything further will lead to your reporting the matter to police.
You don't give details. If you're not comfortable with doing so I fully understand. But if you witnessed this it is awful.
You don't tell us why your sister is in care. Does she have dementia or is she fully capable of reporting to you on this?
I would at the least have these people you WITNESSED drawn into the DON's office with you and her and speak with them directly. Hate speech as a crime is a difficult call legally because of the "Freedom of Speech" laws. But this should/could result in a firing of personnel in the case of someone helpless before such abuse.
I am so sorry this has happened to you and your Sis.
A camera is an excellent suggestion! She will have to check to see if cameras are allowed in her state. Our state does allow cameras in rooms.
Also, if these employees are doing this with the OP’s sister, chances are that they are doing the same thing with other residents as well.
The racial slurs may not stop until someone steps up to complain.
What state is this nursing home in? I find that most nursing home CNA jobs are held by foreign people of color. If you and your sister are white women and claim that staff members of color are making racial remarks, you will probably get labeled 'Karens' by the staff and the administration behind your backs. Then your sister's care can be reduced.
The CNA staff are the people who do actual the labor work in nursing homes which is the hands-on care. It's not the nurses, or the social workers, or the administrative staff. It's the CNA staff. So your best bet would be to stay on the good side of these people for your sister's sake.
I'm not trying to be harsh to you but this is the reality in nursing homes. There can be a lot of petty behavior and the patients are the ones who suffer for it.
Then look for a different facility to put her in if you don't think the one she's in right for her.
First of all, we Caucasians ARE, imho, the privileged of our society and we KNOW it, so remarks made to us about being a "Karen" or a "honkie" or a "cracker" are about as hurtful as water over a duck's back.
As to just accepting this? If someone is cruel enough to make a racist remark to a helpless resident of a care center I just wonder what they do when the lights are out. To me the though of being in the hands of such a person is terrifying.
Unfortunate, I DO AGREE that bringing this forward may further endanger sister. I think that is everyone's fear here.
I think an investigation should be done. Not accusing anyone. The aides should be asked why they are doing it. You may find that when your not around your sister is using racial slurs and the aides are just reciprocating. Just tell the DON what you have heard and wonder why ur sister is being talked to this way. Or ask the aide why she feels the need to talk to ur sister this way. Don't accuse, just ask. By not saying anything, you are allowing it.
And abuse of any kind should be reported not just to the facility but to your States Abuse hotline number.
There is an Ombudsman's office in every state.
Have you heard the remarks made to her? If so you can report them.
I also wonder...
If someone thinks that racist comments are alright are they verbally abusing others and is there other abuse going on Physical? Mental/emotional? Are they denying food? drink? Are they using restraints of any kind?