Covid-19 has been a living hell for me because my husband has vascular dementia. Most of the time he thinks nothing is wrong with him, and can still engage in small talk with others most days. But NOBODY in our entire neighborhood is social distancing, never mind wearing masks, even though the virus has gained a foothold in our county. My husband has so many underlying conditions, that the virus would most certainly be fatal to him.
But I'm terrified of catching coronavirus myself - I may be healthier and younger, but I have my own health concerns and a TON of constant unrelenting stress as a caregiver. It's very hard to get my husband to wash his hands (once or twice a day he might pass them under a dribble of water at my insistence). Worse, yesterday he stood within six feet of a deliveryman (who also had no mask) and had been chatting for 20 minutes until I discovered the situation. My husband thinks I'm making a fuss over nothing and dismisses my concerns. I can't control everything. How do I keep myself safe AND stay sane?
You have to look out for yourself. It's really serious and anyone could die from it. I'd seek a legal consult from a Elder law/divorce attorney. You can consult by phone or facetime. I'd get information on your rights and obligations as a wife and/or POA, if you have that. Can you have DH placed in a LTC facility? Is he competent? Is there some where else you can live? Keeping his behavior to a safe level may not be feasible. I'd try to find safety for myself.
While it is understandable for you to be concerned, at the same time, do not let fear rule your life. Take precautions as best you can. It sounds like you are mostly staying isolated in your own home, which is good because crowds are the issue where it spreads the most. So avoid crowds as much as possible, keep bottles of hand sanitizer handy and if you do go out in public, wear the mask. Make that a golden rule- it's either you wear the mask or you don't go, period. I'm actually baffled that the delivery person wasn't wearing a mask- thought was the law that you work, you have to wear a mask. Maybe it's only in NY???
As for keeping sane during this unprecedented time, do what you can at home to have some fun. I would recommend stuff like gardening, reading, coloring, crafting, listening to music, watching a good movie, learn a new recipe, etc. I just bought myself a compact elliptical machine and those endorphins are saving my sanity. Yoga is great, btw, for busting stress. And you can do chair yoga- no complicated moves, nothing on the floor. Just in a chair, gently stretching. "Yoga With Adrienne" on YouTube does a great "Yoga at your desk" video that's easy and can be done anywhere.
Best of luck to you, and hang in there- it will all be okay! Just take it one day at a time.
I think EllensOnly has a good idea about posting a sign on your door to delivery people to either leave the package on the stoop or wear a mask if they are going to ring the bell & interact with you. I hired a house painter in early June and told him he'd have to wear a mask upon entering my home (he was painting the exterior). He was actually making fun of me! He's 68 but a big blow-hard full of stories and political opinions which I told him I was NOT interested in hearing. "If you'd like the job, then you'll wear a mask when entering my home please." So guess what? He did. Each time. And he shut up about telling my his political opinions, too!
I think Earlybird's idea of hand sanitizer is a good one, too. Put a dollop in your hand and then grab hubby's hand in a romantic gesture. Snicker. Kill two birds with one stone, as they say! LOL
Try not to worry too much. 1 in 300 people actually contract the virus and it's probably less than that right now that the cases have dwindled. And out of the 1 in 300 that do contract it, only a few will get seriously ill and require ICU hospitalization. Arm yourself with facts instead of fear and live your lives, the two of you.
Best of luck!