The doctor prescribe Remeron and or Megace to help her gain weight and maybe feel better emotionally. She is afraid to take it. She is afraid to go to the doctor, afraid that the doctor will give a memory test, and put them in a nursing home. She is afraid to go to the doctor and take anti depression meds because she thinks that they will be put in a mental ward for taking the meds. She doesn't want to go to her doctor of 30 years, but doensn't want to change due to what they might think. She is lonely, but doesn't want anyone coming into house, but me. I work. I go see her every other day. I would go every day, but she is afraid what her two old nosy neighbors, who really don't care about her think. Very had for her to go to church or beauty parlor, yet, she wants her old life back. Physically healthy, except for losing 30 pounds over 6 months; some partly due to a bleeding ulcer. I want only the best for her, but I don't know what to do. I thought about making an appt with her current doctor to tell all. Ideas please.
Her doctor should refer he to a to a behavioral therapist so she can deal with her fears. I know how you feel. My mom was paranoid as well.
After the surgery, she needed to be put on an antidepressant. Remeron was brand new at the time and very expensive. Our prescription plan turned down the request and said that my friend would need to either pay out of pocket or have her daughter take a generic first and demonstrate that it didn't work.
I will always remember my friend talking on the phone with the prescription plan administrator, saying "but her doctor says she needs THIS DRUG, because it is very gentle on the brain. You see my daughter has a brain tumor" At which point she started to sob. They approved the drug. That 8 year old is now a thriving, happy 24 year old out of college and working as an recruitment executive.
Tell your mom that story. It's a very gentle drug, gentle enough for an 8 year old that her mother had to fight and cry for.
Give her a hug for me and tell her I know it's hard to be brave and face old age.
The medications that SHE is thinking about are antipsychotics which were given to schizophrenics. And while they were a miracle when they were developed in the 1950s and they allowed folks who would otherwise have been institutionalized to stay in the community, there is/was a stigma around taking those meds.
I take medication for my anxiety and insomnia, however I have had some really bad reactions to a lot of the meds, therefore, when I am prescribed new medications I don't want to take them for fear of what the reaction will be. My BF came up with a plan to get me to try my new meds. Here is what we do: he tells me that we are in this together no matter what happens, so I start the new medication on his day off so he is with me. Just knowing that he is here with me makes me feel better in case something should go wrong. He is there to help me. Having anxiety that is out of control is a catch 22, because you know you need meds to control the anxiety, but the anxiety tells you that the meds won't help or will make things worst. It is a loop that goes around around that you want off but your afraid of taking meds that help you get off the loop. My BF just keeps resuring me that I need the meds and that he is there for me. I guess, what I am trying to say is can you try to resure your mom that you are there for her and to just try one pill or just take it for a few days, and if she doesn't like the way it makes her feel she doesn't have to take it again. Give her the sense of having some control and resure her that you are there if something should happen.
As far as the stigma goes have you ever thought about googling just how many people in the U.S are on meds for depression, anxiety, and insomnia the number would floor you. You could tell her just how many people are on meds and how most of them live compete and happy lives. Explain to her just how things have change and to do this come up with facts about the disease and the treatments and even just how many teartment centers there are and how they treat people with mental illnesses today. Show her pictures of Onsite, the PNP Center, and the Mayo Clinic. Information is power so give her some information on what mental illness looks like in todays world.
I hope this helps. Good luck.
The antidepressant may or may not work and it will take awhile before you will know.
Has she tried something like Xanax that is quick acting and she could experience less anxiety for a little while so that she could see how much better she could feel?
The appetite stimulate will work or it did with my dad. Did her doctor do blood work that shows her albumin level is low indicating possible malnutrition? Did she have 30 lbs to lose? Did something happen six months ago that she is grieving?
Vitamin D3 is a supplement that can really make a difference. B vitamins can also improve mood and are very important.
Your profile indicates your father is deceased. So I’m wondering, who are you referring to when you say she’s afraid that the doctor will put “them” in a Nursing Home?
Is it possible to get her out on the weekend? Exercise will help.
One of the simplest safest ways to treat anxiety (IMHO) is hemp oil (CBD oil) Green Horizen and Hempworx are two pharmaceutical grade brands that I have personal experience with that I know have helped others with anxiety. Hopefully your mom will get some relief soon and you too. Take care.
edit; sorry, I didn’t see the earlier posts before responding. I see now what happened six months ago.
Just wanted to give you a hug.
Hugs!
Your prayers will be answered, have faith.
As a thought, did they do any brain scans? My grandma changed over night and it was from a clogged artery in her neck that caused mini strokes and instant dementia. Both her oldest children had the same thing and caught it, thereby avoiding the same fate.
I pray that you find the why behind this and the solution.
My other thought (and I’m sure I’ll get some blowback on this) is to get a prescription for the mild anti anxiety med, grind it up and put it in her food, the pill says it can be ground. (I have MPOA for Mom, so I never have to ask for her compliance, I put her on busparone for anxiety, and it’s helping) If her fear of everything is so debilitating that she wants to help herself, but just can’t make a rational decision to do it, is it bad/illegal/immoral to make that decision for her? Would it help her get to the point she could think clearer and she could agree to take it eventually? I really would like to know other peoples thoughts on this. It must be so hard to know what she needs but you don’t have the power to do it. Has anyone been tempted to give their LO a medication the doctor says will help, but without their knowledge?