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My husband had two strokes and now has aphasia. He left on his on free will and his sister put him in a nursing home two weeks after leaving. I just recently found out about it. He contacted me. What rights do I have as his wife?
I'd say not many rights in terms of his care, but I don't see how she can have power over your joint accounts or property even if she does have financial POA.
Did he leave because your marriage is in trouble, or because he has some mental issues related to the strokes? If it's the latter and he gave his sister POA since the strokes, I'd get an elder care attorney ASAP because he might not be competent to have assigned POA to anyone.
You are his wife but you had no idea he left hospital against medical advice and that his sister subsequently had him placed? So I am assuming you are separated? Is that separation legal or not legal? Who is appointed as POA or Guardian over your husband? You say he has aphasia but that in no way means he is incompetent. HOWEVER he may well be in danger without 24/7 care, and the Sister may well be considered next of kin, or have been appointed POA, or temporary guardian during hospitalization. What you need here are the facts at issue and the answers to the above. Ask Sister A) his condition B) his ability to care for himself and make decisions C) her reasoning regarding placement C) if she is currently serving as his guardian or his POA. The place where he is placed may also be able to explain to you who currently is POA, guardian or temporary guardian so you are free to ask them that. If it is the Sister, then it is the Sister. Your rights would end there unless you care to fight it out in court. If you fight it out in court one of three things may happen A) sister may win guardianship and you would pay court costs B) You may win guardianship and you would be responsible for all care decisions C) The Judge decides he is not Solomon and he takes guardianship from both of you, gives it to the state, and neither of you can act for your husband. Remember when you ask us a question to give us as many details as you can. Really helps us hone in on a possible answer.
When and why did your H give his sister these POAs? Could you please explain the dynamics between you, DH and his sister? It would make it easier to help.
I agree with MJ1929, and the other reason you need an attorney is because laws differ from state to state and this is a global forum so you may not get advice that is accurate for your home state. You need a consult, to get perspective on your situation and to see how to protect yourself from the sister's PoA if you have joint accounts with your husband, when your husband created the PoA (after his stroke may mean her PoA is not valid), etc.
Second marriages (especially if there are no children) can be fraught with familial complexities since the 2nd spouse doesn't have enough "history" with the siblings-in-law who can become protective and territorial.
If your SIL has POA over your husband's medical and financial decisions then legally she is his next of kin and not you. However, if you are legally married to your husband your SIL only has POA authority over half of whatever money and assets your husband has or the two of you have together. If your husband was able to leave of his own free will from wherever he was leaving from after two strokes, he's still able to make decisions and his autonomy is being respected. Put him in touch with a lawyer who will visit him and explain about conservatorship and that he can change his mind at anytime and have his sister removed as his POA and health care representative. Nursing homes do this all the time. They will challenge a family POA or conservatorship/guardianship in court because they want it themselves. It simplifies matters for them because it's faster and easier to rob a person blind when there isn't someone on the outside keeping them on their toes and scrutinizing everything they do and every penny they bill. My father had a stroke with aphasia. I had his legal POA and was his healthcare representative. His mind was still functional. The nursing home he was in tried to get conservatorship over him through the court. They lost. He was able to communicate that he wanted me to continue handling things for him. Talk to a lawyer. The first consultation is usually free. See what they say about it.
He gave his sister the rights. If he can make his own decisions he can have the POAs revoked and assign you. If he has been formally diagnosed as not being able to make informed decisions, he cannot change the POA Sil is in charge.
Is he privately paying for this NH? Is SIL using money that is considered marital assets? If so, you need to see a lawyer to protect yourself. You are still married and could be held responsible legally for any bills that he incurs. You need to secure your 50% of the marital assets. Maybe even divorce him.
Is he on Medicaid? If so, they need to know your are the Community Spouse and as such may need part or all of his SS and pension, if any, to live. An Elder law attorney should be the one to help u since they know Medicaid.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Did he leave because your marriage is in trouble, or because he has some mental issues related to the strokes? If it's the latter and he gave his sister POA since the strokes, I'd get an elder care attorney ASAP because he might not be competent to have assigned POA to anyone.
So I am assuming you are separated?
Is that separation legal or not legal? Who is appointed as POA or Guardian over your husband? You say he has aphasia but that in no way means he is incompetent. HOWEVER he may well be in danger without 24/7 care, and the Sister may well be considered next of kin, or have been appointed POA, or temporary guardian during hospitalization.
What you need here are the facts at issue and the answers to the above. Ask Sister A) his condition B) his ability to care for himself and make decisions C) her reasoning regarding placement C) if she is currently serving as his guardian or his POA.
The place where he is placed may also be able to explain to you who currently is POA, guardian or temporary guardian so you are free to ask them that. If it is the Sister, then it is the Sister. Your rights would end there unless you care to fight it out in court. If you fight it out in court one of three things may happen A) sister may win guardianship and you would pay court costs B) You may win guardianship and you would be responsible for all care decisions C) The Judge decides he is not Solomon and he takes guardianship from both of you, gives it to the state, and neither of you can act for your husband.
Remember when you ask us a question to give us as many details as you can. Really helps us hone in on a possible answer.
Second marriages (especially if there are no children) can be fraught with familial complexities since the 2nd spouse doesn't have enough "history" with the siblings-in-law who can become protective and territorial.
However, if you are legally married to your husband your SIL only has POA authority over half of whatever money and assets your husband has or the two of you have together.
If your husband was able to leave of his own free will from wherever he was leaving from after two strokes, he's still able to make decisions and his autonomy is being respected. Put him in touch with a lawyer who will visit him and explain about conservatorship and that he can change his mind at anytime and have his sister removed as his POA and health care representative. Nursing homes do this all the time. They will challenge a family POA or conservatorship/guardianship in court because they want it themselves. It simplifies matters for them because it's faster and easier to rob a person blind when there isn't someone on the outside keeping them on their toes and scrutinizing everything they do and every penny they bill.
My father had a stroke with aphasia. I had his legal POA and was his healthcare representative. His mind was still functional. The nursing home he was in tried to get conservatorship over him through the court. They lost. He was able to communicate that he wanted me to continue handling things for him.
Talk to a lawyer. The first consultation is usually free. See what they say about it.
His wife is still his legal next of kin.
Is he privately paying for this NH? Is SIL using money that is considered marital assets? If so, you need to see a lawyer to protect yourself. You are still married and could be held responsible legally for any bills that he incurs. You need to secure your 50% of the marital assets. Maybe even divorce him.
Is he on Medicaid? If so, they need to know your are the Community Spouse and as such may need part or all of his SS and pension, if any, to live. An Elder law attorney should be the one to help u since they know Medicaid.