They are elderly, live alone, cannot manage, rely on friends, need help but don't have any family to intervene. Husband is danger to himself and wife. He tried to commit suicide once and has threatened often. Wife is extremely frail and not able to be assertive. Would adult protective services be able to help? They don't acknowledge that they have any problems. Doctors and psych hospital have made no long term plans.
But in any case, I can't see how a call to APS could possibly be the wrong thing to do. If you don't report the situation, APS can't possibly intervene. If you do, and they think it appropriate, they will.
When you say the doctors and psychiatric hospital have made no long-term plans, how do you know? Is this what the husband has said, or do you have other sources of information?
They were not able to provide physical assistance, but the lady was so supportive and I believe her involvement prevented premature discharge of bil back to the home.
Also the home health was so much more helpful than was our usual experience.
Our APS lady kept in frequent contact until my sister ( after a visit to ICU herself) were able to cope with their situation.
I was so impressed.
Are u caring for an 84 yr old or are u 84? Who has ALZ/Dementia?
I am assuming ur daughter gets SS and is on Medicaid. Does she go to daycare? Medicaid may pay fully for that. Have you considered finding her a group home? I realize that considering LTC is not something u want to do. But, you are not going to be here forever. Better that ur daughter adjusts now then everything being thrown at her when u pass. Mom gone, in a strange place, strange people. Now, u can help her transition.
I may eventually have to make this decision with my nephew. He is on his own now but his neurological condition will cause Dementia sooner than later. My daughters will not be able to care for him. So if I pass, he will become a ward of the state. I am trying now to set up things.