My grandfather has finally stopped recognizing us I think. Maybe doesn't recognize himself either.
It feels very sudden but I know its not.
He keeps trying to go "home", but we are home. In the same place he's lived for 6+ years. We'll lead him to his tv room and find him on the porch shortly after, we'll take him to his bathroom and he leaves saying it's not the right one.
To him our house is no more than a funhouse puzzle of rooms, with holes in the floor and gaps in the wall. Frogs and snakes and flooding basements.
And those are the nicer things he sees.
It's lead to us having to monitor the doors, double locking at night and adding bells to the front door, his room and now the closet where we found him this morning.
But even if he can't do most things anymore, even if he can't see two feet in front of him, even if he doesn't recognize us, we can't stop him from living what little life he has.
During the day he has every right to move around. It's his house too of course. Its just he gets so belligerent with us when we ask where he's trying to get to. When we try to lead him through the maze his mind now sees.
Called me a smart-ass today when I asked why he was outside alone.
I didn't know he could curse.
We know we can't do it alone.
We are considering a nursing home, but that takes time and planning, and financial consideration.
So how do we keep him safe until then?
I can't monitor him 24/7, and neither can my grandmother. Even if we try he gets upset, mean even. And I can't say that doesn't hurt.
I'm lost and I just want to help my family survive this storm.
Any advice?
I am so sorry. You didn't cause this and you can't fix this. It is very sad and there's little that can make it better. It simply must be endured until the end of life. I know that is no comfort, but it is best recognized for what it is. I would have in place DNR orders now, and consider palliative care for the remainder of his life, for, with his hallucinations his life is fraught, and can only be somewhat a torment. I don't know if medications have been tried for the hallucinations. Sadly, when they work they often decrease balance and mobility and represent then an increased danger of falling.
I am very sorry for all you are all going through.
Is grandpa’s physician aware of hallucinations ? Has he been seen by a neurologist for possible medications ? Grandpa and all of you are suffering . Is your grandmother without mental deficits ? Does anyone have POA for grandpa ?
Or maybe they are trying to find a previous home, or a childhoold home?
Sometimes it's aggitation, not knowing what to do, where to go.
Or tiredness. Where/how to relax.
Wandering is a hard stage. Keeping a smaller area to roam is all I can think of sorry. Like 2-3 rooms & have doors to outside locked.
Wandering is very unsettling for everyone. My mom was trying to wander outside in the middle of the night.
Her doctor prescribed meds to help calm her down in the evening. Ask your grandfather’s doctor about medication.
You say that you are considering placing him in a facility. Yes! Please do. You can’t possibly watch him 24/7 like a staff at a facility will be able to.
You deserve to have proper rest. You can visit your grandfather as often as you like in the facility, then go home and get the rest that you need.
Best wishes to you and your family.