My grandmother is in the nursing home as I have told the story. I know at times she gets agitated with the staff but not me as I read with others they get it bad. I've been planning a trip since the start of this year. So next month I'll be heading out to California. I booked the flight, hotel and rental car put in my vacay time at the job so I fly out on Friday and fly back to NJ the following Monday. Should I communicate with the staff at the facility that she's at in case of emergency needed even though I'm 3,000 miles away?? I doubt anything will happen besides her yelling at the staff. This trip is much needed after all that has happened in the last year. This is my second long trip since Texas 3 years ago.
At mom's memory care, there are notices posted in the nurse's office when person of contact is on vacation usually with an alternate backup - if there is no one else to notify then at least let them know you'll be out of town - any cell phone they can reach you ?
If they should call you, your first question - à la 911 - should be "what's the emergency?" If the 'emergency' is that your grandmother's refusing to get into bed, for example, you tell the caller to refer it to her supervisor and politely end the call.
Your back-up ICE contact, by the way, doesn't have to know your grandmother or be anything to do with family. Could be a neighbour or co-worker, anyone you can ask to relay genuine emergency calls and block others. They're not likely to have to do anything much so it's not that big a favour to ask.