This is a follow up to this question I asked on May 7th. I just want to say thank you for everyone's input and support. About a week after, during one of the confrontations where he was asking for his gun back, I asked him why he needed it. He said so I can protect myself if someone breaks through the front door. I said, you've lived here since 1967, and no one has ever broken in; what makes you think someone will now? He said, because everyone knows I live alone. I said, but you don't live alone anymore. We've spoken to all the neighbors and told them we bought the house, so everyone knows you're not alone. He hasn't asked for it since. On another note, his dementia is progressing, and I don't know how much longer we can care for him. Are there any resources to help defray the cost of in-home care for him so my wife and I can have some free time, or does he have to be on Medicaid for that?
As for your possibly legitimate second question - if you truly want answers perhaps you should rewrite your post and lead with that.
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion.
Regarding resources, your Dad will have to qualify if you're looking for state or county assistance. In most states Medicaid only covers LTC and one must be assessed as needing this level of care PLUS meeting the financial need criteria in order to receive it. In home, if your Dad meets the financial aid criteria you can apply for an Elder Waiver which would provide some in-home help, but not much.
I strongly recommend you consult with both a certified elder law/estate planning attorney and a Medicaid Planner for your state so that you have a clearer path and timeline for your Dad to qualify, if at all. Other than that, he can pay for agency aids or ones privately hired, out of his own funds. This is what he saved his money for: his care in his declining years. My strong suggestion is to get him into a well-researched, very reputable local facility sooner rather than later. One that accepts Medicaid and has a spectrum of care levels on the same campus. Often seniors appreciate the more enriched social environment when they have activities, special visitors (like strolling musicians, pets, singers) and events. My MIL is on Medicaid in a great place. She's in a wheelchair and they take her to visit llama farms, out fishing on their pontoon, etc. These places do exist. Faith-based facilities are ones you should check into even if your dad isn't a faith-based person. They view their care as a mission so often provide better care at a better price. Wishing you all the best as you move through this journey!
So glad about not asking for the gun anymore.
You say you bought the home so that he wouldn't be alone; I assume that means you are living in the home.
If you hope for Dad to go on Medicaid I hope that you paid fair market value on the home, or it will be considered gifting. I hope the money is in Dad's accounts for the sale of his home. If you are POA and sold home to yourself it can also be considered under the law enriching yourself. I am sure you got good advice and did it right, but those are just a few things to consider.
If the home was sold for good value and the money is in Dad's accounts, then it will likely be some few years before he needs medicaid.
Thank you for updating us. So few come back to tell us the results of any advice. This is a real relief for you I would imagine.
Wishing you the best going forward.
What repercussions are you speaking of?
Taxes? We are talking about Medicaid gifting regs.
Gifting within the lookback period essentially means that the person receiving the gift is responsible for that amount to be paid for the care of the person that gifted it to them before Medicaid will pay for their care. It's a gap because the person gifted to received a benefit from the funds that should have gone to pay for the care of the person that gave them the money.
If so contact the local Veteran's Assistance Commission with their help it can be determined what benefits the Veteran is entitled to. It might be a little help or it could be a LOT.
I think it is great that he was able to express a fear that he has had.
I think it is great that you were able to ask a "simple" question that enabled him to do so.
IF you think you are able to keep him home begin now to make changes that will make it easier for him in the near and not so distant future. Changes early on are easier for someone with dementia to handle than later on.
Things like removing carpeting putting down water resistant flooring will help. Enlarging a bathroom so that you can have a barrier free shower and enough room to get 2 or 3 people and maneuver equipment would be a great help later.
Depending on your father's needs, maybe get him a hired companion. If you're not looking for bathing, toileting, dressing, feeding, etc... the cost won't be too high for a companion a few times a week.
Or adult day care a few days a week. He will also get socialization too.
If there is a senior center in your area, they always have something going on, and he might like that too.
I took a gun course when I was a teenager and plan to take another one, as well as become more proficient with a pistol. There's just too much violence, too many unstable people, too much friction, too much movement away from in person interaction and toward tech devices (which I think can contribute to less personal respect for others) not to take precautions, even if it's just carrying something to spray on an attacker.
That should be used for his care.
While there are a very few exceptions, your dad has to have amounts and types of assets and income BELOW your state's Medicaid requirements. Period. It doesn't matter what you or your siblings want. So, if your father has income and assets available TO him, it has to be used FOR him before you get outside financial help. There are so many different ways that CAN happen. That's where the attorney guides you because that process is very, very long and complicated!