The time has come. Mom has to transition to disposable underwear. I discussed with the Memory Care Director. She simply is having too many accidents.
We know she is going to be resistant and talked about some strategies, like I start stealing her underwear and the remaining pads, just put the disposables in the drawer, etc. I know she will hate it. She was completely resistant to it when I suggested it last summer, so I know this will be a difficult change.
Any other strategies that I should consider? Talking to her about it won't help. That's already proven.
My mother feels and catches and complains about anything that feels different, or is new, or a wrinkle in a pillow. Which reminds me of the old fairytale the prince and the pee.
Sorry no suggestion, good luck
These type of Depends pull on's look most like real underwear. They DO make real incontinence underwear/panties but I doubt the Memory Care facility is willing to wash them.
https://a.co/d/apZUF86
These are good too, Always.
Good luck to you.
I wish I could say she won't know the difference, but she is not that far gone yet. When I talked to her previously, she said she "didn't like how they feel". But then she has on a pad in a panty, and then a support panty over that, and then her pants. All I can do sometimes is shake my head.
Below is one example of a softer approach, giving full choice..
My LO needed disposables. Too many accidents. Disposables resisted as 'felt funny'. Recommonded by all caregivers & put in the drawer BUT regular underwear also LEFT in drawer. Why? A well intentioned family member did this to allow CHOICE.
Result (as you'd expect) regular underwear chosen & soiled.
Family saw providing options as providing 'dignity of choice'.
Yet LO appeared to have little awareness of growing incontinence. Little concern regarding soiled clothing, no concern regarding soiled furniture, no wish to improve hygiene.
A person must be able to understand & weigh up the options in order to make an informed decision on a matter.
When I take her out, I need to make sure she is wearing clean clothing and not pants with dried poop on the back. It's just heart- breaking to me to see how far gone her self- awareness is.
So this change won't be by her choice. It's just the way it has to be.
My mom wasn’t gung ho about using disposable underwear at first. Afterwards, she felt more confident about not soiling her clothes.
Wishing you and your mom all the best.
First you throw away all of her old underwear(not in front of her of course), and then you replace them with her "new" underwear Depends, and continue to refer to the Depends as her new underwear.
When she has no other options except to wear her "new" underwear, she will get used to them pretty quickly.