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She fills up the bathroom waste basket with toilet paper. And if we ask her if she knows why there's these little bits of TP trail leading to her room she's totally clueless. She is also incontinent.

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We have smears on the toilet seat since my mother has lived with us as well dirty TP wads on the floor....I have a weak stomach and cant stand this in our only bathroom..I keep a container of sanitizing wipes on the tank and I point out to my mother when she makes a mess and that she needs to clean up after herself....of course she says she's not doing this but in our 35 years together hub and I never had this issue come up before..she stIll says the mess is from us though....OK THEN
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I will keep this short- yes, yes, and yes! One bit if advice- UTI ( in my mind) mom acted as if she had a stroke didn't know where she was, hallucinating , confused. Took her to the emergency room and all of her symptoms were caused by a UTI. just thought I would mention as a lot of people are new to Elder Care and the symptoms of UTI
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My mom used to grab handfuls of tissues out of the box and stuff them in her pockets, underwear and pants, socks, in drawers everywhere, and all over the house and floors... some used, some not. When I put them out of sight to dole out as necessary, she started doing the same thing with toilet paper. Not only that, but she tears them up into tiny pieces, wipes her nose on them, and after that the world is her trash can... any open container or box, as well as the places stated above. She will also drop candy/snack wrappers into the toilet, and leave used tp in the trash or just drop it on the floor (I've actually found sh*tty tp on my kitchen counter). I've even found it in her pockets. I've determined that, unless I spend the day watching her every move (I tried and it was too damn exhausting), it's a battle than cannot be won.
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Yup. I keep a small vaccum (like a stick vac) in the bathroom for just this problem. Mom's occasional forgetfulness leads to disintegrating incontinence pads, which leave urine-soaked crumbles all over the floor when she finally does change the pad...plus the scraps and shreds of toilet paper and forgetting to flush the toilet....or to wipe off the seat afterwards because she can no longer get straight up off the toilet due to her mobility issues, so she drags herself off the seat while leaning on the sink in front of her (we have a very small bathroom). I keep a canister of disinfectant wipes on the sink, but it's like she doesn't see them, or the "residue" she leaves on the seat for the next person to either sit on or clean up.

Oh, and then there's the puddles of urine on the floor when she waits too long to go to the bathroom and can't hold it anymore, plus the urine that streams down the front of the toilet after she's done and drags herself off the seat, which not only leaves the front of the toilet gross, but also the rug in front of the toilet. I have a rotation of 2 rugs that are falling apart from being washed so much - I rotate them every other day to keep them reasonably clean. Thank God we don't have carpet in the bathroom, or I'd have to shampoo it constantly.

It would be nice if she would clean up after herself, but I've learned to choose my battles wisely. This isn't one of them. I'd rather spend my energy getting her to shower and change her incontience pad and compromise by cleaning up the floor and toilet seat myself.
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Wow! I thought I was the only one who had to deal with this or with the "residue" on the toilet seat. I don't know of any other thing to do but to just clean it up. It's very aggravating though.
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Nope, Raina, you're not alone. I think most of us have to clean up some sort of "potty issue", be it actually in the bathroom or changing an adult diaper or Depends, etc. It's one of those things that just goes with the territory of caregiving.
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I know what you mean, whippedat56 - I tried at first to get Mom to understand the issues in the bathroom - they're unsanitary and unpleasant...but then, after trying and failing many times to get her to clean up after herself, I just started to do it myself.

Sometimes you just have to choose your battles.
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A warning to those of you who keep disinfectant wipes in the bathroom for quick cleanups. I do, and everyone in the house knows to look before they sit. Actually, we also have to look before we step. My mom used the disinfectant wipes for toileting herself - as well as paper hand towels - when she had a BAD case of diarrhea and ran out of tp (we keep the spares out of sight because I've had to throw so many out that she handled with her sh*tty hands). Just had the plumber here this week to root out our drain. I now keep the paper hand towels in the bathroom closet, and the disinfectant wipes under the sink. With mom, thankfully, it's out of sight, out of mind. So if your LO has dementia, I'm giving you a heads up...
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Milindar, I've given up trying to make sense of the unusual behaviors. I've resigned myself to saying, "It happens," and let it go at that. Most of the behaviors are harmless. They are just a big reminder that something is wrong.

I was just thinking of how much easier caregiving would be if there was no incontinence. Bladder and bowel problems can be the most exasperating things to deal with for both the caregiver and receiver. I wish researchers would come up with a pill to cure incontinence without causing any other problems. Wouldn't that be a blessing?
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