My father is 90, my mom is 86. I am sure my father has some dementia (never been diagnosed and no use trying, he hates doctors). But my mom is diabetic and only take oral meds to help, but recently they have been higher (mid 200's). I know she does eat some chips and a little ice cream each night, but I am wondering if the stress she deals with daily is creating her sugar levels to stay higher? The doctor has recently increased her Actos and her A1C (?) is a little high so he said if it doesn't start to come down within the next 3 months, she will either have to take Januvia or take night time shots (which she said she will never do). So how can she relieve this stress from my dad (he loses stuff, blames her, he fusses on and on over things until she just gets sick and tired of it all). She has basically no one to talk to except for me (all her close friends have passed on). And oh, my dad is definitely an extrovert (talker upon belief) and when she does go to say something he gets pissed off because he apparently wasn't done talking himself. I really don't think she needs the increase of meds BUT how does she get rid of the stress of dealing with dad?
Your dad's behavior sounds very common in certain types of dementia. Not only do they blame others for losing things, they often hide things themselves, forget that, and then blame others. Aggravating!! Dad probably hid Mom's medicine because he knows how important it is and he didn't want anyone stealing it (a kind of paranoia also common in dementia). His motive may have been to protect Mom but the outcome was to put her at risk.
Whether you can get an official diagnosis or not, I think it would help if you and Mom acknowledge that he has it, learn what you can about it, and deal accordingly. For example, maybe Mom should hide her meds!
My heart goes out to all three of you. Dementia always effects more than the person who has it.
http://www.diabetes.org/living-with-diabetes/parents-and-kids/everyday-life/managing-stress-and-diabetes.html
Mom has been living with this extrovert for a very long time, and it may not be his behavior so much that is stressful as it is worrying about what it means for his health. It IS stressful to have someone you love develop dementia -- I'll bet you are stressed about it, too.
Also, diabetes type 2 is a progressive disease. Even under ideal conditions with excellent management, it can get worse all on its own. It is possible that Mom would need a change of medications even if she weren't stressed.
The important thing is to manage the blood sugar levels. This may include managing stress, counseling, a change in diet, and/or a change in medications. Nobody wants to give themselves shots. But once you get used to it it is No Big Deal.
I strongly urge your mom (and maybe you could accompany her) to see a Certified Diabetes Educator. Insurance covers this. These professionals know far more about the day-to-day nitty-gritty of managing blood sugar levels than most doctors do. (Mom needs a doctor, too, obviously, but the CDE is a very practical and useful supplement to the doctor's treatment.)