My sister and her daughter (son too I think) have been stealing from my mother for years. She allowed it to happen because she "didn't want to get them in trouble" Now she is elderly, living on social security and they are still doing it. My brother's and I are trying to put a stop to it, but mom still doesn't want to get them in trouble. They most recently took the money (600.00) she has been saving to pay her taxes. We gave them a deadline of August 3 to pay it back, they gave her some of it and asked for more time. We want her to report it but their latest dirty trick is to tell mom that my sister has brain cancer (she gets cancer every time she is in trouble and my mother believes her every time). Anyway, we are at the end of our rope and not sure who to call for help! Any suggestions would be appreciated.
Adult protective services is a good idea because the sister and her blood sucking spawn will get on the "legal radar". That said, don't expect a lot because there are so many people who need help and are in worse situations than this.
If they can't get at your mom's $$ the next thing will be to sell what ever they can. If possible remove any valuables - car, antiques, jewelry, etc. to your home or a storage unit. Here's what a friend did with her mooching nephew and her mom, it's a little different situation since nephew/grandson was living there but it might help.
- got ALL mom's mail forwarded to daughter
- got all mom's income direct deposited to an account controlled by daughter
- removed all checks, credit cards etc from the apartment
- take grannie to son's house for weekend visit
- while grannie was away and nephew was out for a while, she changed the locks on the house & garage then moved all of his things into the car port.
-post copy of restraining order on doors to house
- she found nephew and gave him $1000 cash (so she could honestly tell mom she didn't put him in the street with nothing) and told him his things were in the carport for pick up
- told him she has restraining order to keep him from grandma and her business
- moved grandma to assisted living after applying for medicaide help to pay the rent
In the end, grandma was happy to have him gone even though she told everyone else how helpful he was before he was kicked out. You have to decide what sort of relationship - if any - you want with your sister and her kids after your Mom is gone. I've been through the very same thing with some cousins and I don't regret a day that i don't see them. They would have sucked their parents and our grandparents dry if we'd let them. You CAN decide NOT to have people like that in your life.
Since you have durable POA, it might be good to talk with her dr. to get her evaluated about being competent to conduct her own business in a business like manner plus explain the need for her to trust you the most since she entrusted you with the POA. I'd also ask him to put his evaluation of not being competent to handle her business in the form of a notarized letter. I have two of these for my mother's protection. The doctor never actualy used the word incompetent, he just kindly encouraged her to now trust me to take care of all these things for her. On the other hand, and probably a bit riskier, would be just have all of your mother's bills sent to you by informing all such persons of your POA and request it get sent to you. If your sister asked any questions just tell her you are taking care of your mom's financial well being as she entrusted and authorized you to with the POA. That's my 2 cents worth of input for this Monday afternoon.
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