my father just over a year ago got remarried to a woman that is about 3 years younger than him. her previous husband died from complications of alzhiemers about 6 months before they met. they dated for 2 weeks and he proposed. within the month they were married. within 3 months she was paying his bills because he couldn't do it anymore. they always eat out and he is now very unhealthy looking. he was always against gambling and now he does it regularly with her. he showed signs of memory problems before they got married. anyone who truely spends time with him can see that he is not all there mentally. he claims to have gone to the doctor and been checked for dementia and got the letter from the doctor that stated he was fine, any questions to call so my husband did and he was furious with him. she will not allow us to be with him without her in the room. we feel that she is in his life for the money because all she has talked about is selling his house and building a new one on her property. this is his life savings not hers and we feel that she is trying to get his savings for her children since she has already spent every cent of her deceased husbands money before they met. how do we go about protecting him without making him so mad that he does not talk to us anymore. what legal grounds can we persue.
The only way you can stop him is to have him declared incompetent, and then fight with his new wife for guardianship.
Is there an eldest son? Or a sibling that he trusts implicitly? You MIGHT try getting him to agree to putting one of you as a second signer. But if he perceives this as interfering in what he wants to do, he won't do it.
His money. His life.
Marrying someone you don't trust? Too late for that.
Having memory problems, and perhaps the start of dementia? Not possible. It is what it is.
Letting his money slip out of his control so that someone else inherits it instead of you? Not worth the trouble to worry about it. If indeed he has dementia ain't nobody gonna inherit big amounts.
His money and his life.
What you can do, I think (hope) is maintain a cordial relationship with him. Drop all interest in what he does with his money. Visit pleasantly and include his new wife in your conversations. Get him talking about his childhood, and ask about hers. Reminisce about your own growing up years, and ask if her children, too, loved swimming. Get to know her as a person and let her see how much you love your father.
His money. His life. Your father. A part of your life. Keep it that way. Forget about the money.