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My plan And his goal is to get home and he wants me To be his caregiver but Veteran and I'm not with him.I'm not with them. I'm my family train

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If he's a veteran, he should have a military ID card. If he's lost it, it can be replaced. You should call the local veteran's administration and ask how to do that. You'll need his DD214, which documents his discharge. If he doesn't have that, they can look it up.

You'll need his birth date. They'll probably want his social security number.

He should be available to them for phone conversation when you call them. They probably won't talk to you without his permission.
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I don't think English is the OPs first language. With help of Cover 909, I think "family train" means "formal training".It would be nice if OP would come back and give us more information and maybe have someone with a better grasp of English write it for her. But for what we have put together at this point, the OP should not allow this man to be released to her. There is a reason why he is where he is, leave him there.
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The VA requires a copy of his DD214 form, when he was discharged from the military (and if it was honorable or not).
If he is already in a VA Home, keep him there. They are the best run facilities in the country, and they are experts with veteran's care. He is very lucky to be in a VA home (if he is.)
It won't help him (or you) at all to leave that setup and try to be his caregiver, especially with no experience. It's three 8 hour shifts (morning, afternoon and graveyard), EVERY DAY, with extreme stress. I know firsthand because I'm helping my Ex husband who had a mini-stroke get into a VA home as we speak. He had no family left and was evicted, so someone had to step in.

I'm exhausted, stressed and frustrated daily. My life I had has been gone 18 months, and I;m not a happy person. I'm doing my best to get him out of here and get my life back. I'm just 2 months away and finally have hope.

You will ruin your back and your life. Don't believe the promises or smooth talk, unless you would enjoy changing diapers on a large man every day. He needs durable medical equipment and to afford a large place for a hospital bed. Please don't help him leave a VA facility, it would be a disaster for both of you.
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Your post is a bit confusing. Your profile says that he is a big guy and can’t walk.

I don’t think you should take on the responsibility of being his caregiver. Look for alternative solutions.

Speak to a social worker. See if he qualifies for veterans assistance.
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Reading this makes my head hurt.

I am curious what a “family train” is though.
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anonymous1732518 Jun 2023
Maybe she means training
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How old is he and how old are you.

If he is in a VA home, he is there for a reason. He is 24/7 care. What he wants means nothing. When a person is 24/7 care and is in a Nursing Home and there is no one to care for him at home or sending him home is unsafe, its called an "unsafe discharge" and by law he cannot be released to home.

You need to talk to the Social Worker at the NH. Tell her what he is planning. If the ID is a State ID, he does not need it in a NH. VA ID he should have.

You do not sound like you want this responsibility. In your profile u say he is a big man. He will be very hard to care for. I think your trying to say that you are not a couple. Even if your married, you do not have to physically care for a spouse if your unable to.

If this man has Dementia or Alzheimers, he is better off where he is because his Dementia/ALZ will only worsen. And people suffering from it always want to go home.

I would not do this. You need a contract for payment and u may find yourself putting more time in than u want to. You mention family (seems you got cut off). If you have a family, I would not do this. You do not want to be a live-in, then u will be expected to be at his beck and call. There are Labor laws concerning live-ins. They work just like anyone else 40hrs a week with time off. He will need another aide to fill in when ur not on duty.

Humor him.
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anonymous1732518 Jun 2023
He wants to come home. Maybe the VA home if he's in one, is not all it's cracked up to be.
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Contact the VA and ask to talk to a Social Worker or a Patient Advocate.
The VA should be able to help him return home IF IT IS SAFE FOR HIM TO RETURN TO HIS HOME.
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I am so sorry. I don't understand what you have written.

I get that you want to care for a veteran. If he is in the VA system they will already have his ID.

You cannot get ID done for someone bedridden. You need the help of a social worker in the VA system I am thinking, but as I said I can't quite get why you need this ID.
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