Does anyone have a suggestion as to a sleep aid that will give a dementia sufferer sleep vs. increasing the agitation, confusion and only making the dementia worse? My mother is 95, a hospice patient and lives with us along with my 85 year old father-in-law and our 4 month old grandson. My mother has been up numerous nights extremely confused. Of course, everything she says is very real to her and when I try to either reason with her or try to tell her she can't leave at 3am, she digs her heels in. There is no reasoning with her and I can't tie her to the bed. I need something to give her peace from her deeply confused state. I am exhausted and it breaks my heart watching her struggle with a mind that lies to her. Last night I was up all night trying to keep her from taking the car, that she quite driving 5 years ago, to pick up her brother, who died 12 years ago. She has no balance, her legs are weak and she can barely walk yet was fighting me tooth and nail because I had my hand on her arm trying to keep her from falling down. It is extremely frustrating for not only my family and myself, but her as well. I know if I could just give her a pill during those times that would knock her out and give her a good night's sleep by the next morning life would be better......for us all. Last night, I gave her a Darvocet, two Ativan and an anti-depressant that was supposed to help. HA! I know the doctors don't want to prescribe sleeping pills because they can be deadly in the elderly. I am exhausted because I care for my grandson during the day as well as my mother and now I am up all night too. I need some rest. I love my mother with all my heart and soul and would do anything for her comfort. All her life she told me, "If I EVER lose my mind, just pull the plug because I NEVER want to live like that." And here she is alive in the shell that was once my mother. It is so, so sad because I know she is miserable, exhausted and trying to make sense in situations when there is non to be made. I sure could use some suggestions. No she is not hungry, needs to use the bathroom or any of the other issues sometimes associated with agitation. It is her mind making the unreal seem real to her. I feel so awful and it is heartbreaking to watch and deal with. Thanks!
Tbe neurologist told me never to give more than 1 1/2 of a 3mg tablet. The melatonin is keeping him awake i bet. Even half of a 3mg works. Can you even give it along with trazadone? Be careful, call a doc or pharmacist please.
this info along with my spouse to the physician.
We got a hospital bed with full rails on both sides. I raise the head and feet. That makes it impossible for her to get out of bed on her own. It doesn't stop her from shouting and banging on the rails, though. She's completely out of it during the night...talking to dead people...going to the store...seeing things...
I have a real problem with her night-time habits since if I don't get sleep, I'm a mess. Last night I was pretty calm about the whole thing, though. When I see the doctor next, I'm going to see if there's something that will last longer than the 4 hours this seems to effect her. Since, in her case, she can't walk alone and can't get out of bed, dizziness isn't an issue.
I wish you the very best. If there's one reason I would put mom into a nursing home, it would be her night-time behavior. We all need our sleep. Well, apparently everybody but your mom and mine anyway.
Good luck.
I am not sure if this is just a mind over matter thing or if gluten-free is actually helping him. It will be interesting to see how this progresses. I know that food allergies and food sensitivity can cause medical issues.
at Alicks Home Medical here in town (South Bend, IN). I think it cost almost $200. I see there is one at Amazon for about $90. There's a lot available through Amazon, I notice. My aunt's doctor says forget about the 1/2 hr limit - push the envelope for folks with dementia. I put in on my aunt first thing in the morning - about 3 hours. He can really see a difference; I know if I get lazy or busy and don't use it on her, I pay for it in the evening when she starts insisting she has to go home NOW. The last time I didn't use it, Ami talked nonstop from 11pm till 5am. I'll hever make that mistake again. If you get one, let me know how it works for you. Sometimes, I sit in the glow myself! Best of luck!
God bless and good luck!
luvmom
Luvmom
Yes mom is 66 and I am 32. Moms father who also had dementia/Alz was also in his early to mid 60's when he started to show symptoms as well. So, this is why I am so bothered by knowing exactly whats going on. If there is something hereditary going on then we need to know.
You asked me if mom "had" or "go" need with her constantly moving. Once in a while she says she "needs" to go home to check on her mom. So for the most part there is no reasoning to the pacing. She paces at times like shes in a trace.. she does this when she is wide awake. So I know its not sleepwalking. I don't know how else to explain it. I sometimes wonder since she spent her life being anxious and OCD the movement is still there but the action of what to do is gone. I have tried to give her small tasks like a dust cloth, broom,basket of clothes etc...thought that would help. But she has ZERO attention span for that. It will only last for minutes and she is back pacing.Since we live in her home. I have adopted her cleaning rituals(she had a day to day cleaning routine and it used to drive me crazy when I was a kid). It sort of helps sometimes, like I would tell her its "Friday" and ask What needs to be done?? She knows that every Fri. she did her "Fridays Cleaning" and Windows. She will calm down some when she helps BUT than the anxiety take control of her. She is at war with herself and it is so sad to watch her being ate alive by the anxiety more so than the dementia!!
You asked how her fluid intake was? She drinks for the most part well. A while back ago, I got her a sippy cup w/ straw. So it makes it easier to get track of her intact. She mainly drinks water(she loves that flavored stuff) along with juice and milk. Only once in a great while I will treat her to a cup of coffee.
You mentioned about moms bathroom issues. The sensation of "WHEN" is there but "WHERE" is the problem. She will go anywhere she sees fit. She has been wearing depends for a while.I have introduced diapers with tabs at nite. I told her they were special underpants that she was aloud to go in and she was okay with that. am slowly getting a grasp on that. I took some suggestions by others on here. I made her a one piece Pj to wear at night that she can't strip off. I am also working on taking a couple of her sweatsuits and sewing the top and bottom together with opening in back to make them one piece too. She will actually tell me now that she needs to "go", along with me asking her periodically.Saving me some sanity of scrubbing up messes all the time.
You don't know how much I appreciate your understanding and concern. I was in so much despair and then I feel God guided me to this website. To make me understand that I am NOT alone and its okay to get frustrated.
HAVE A GREAT DAY!!!!
WOW, it sure sounds like you are having a time with your mom. Did I catch it correctly and she is only 66? That is young!! You can’t be very old if she is 66. I am only 62 and 66 seems so young. Geesh, I remember when it seemed antiquated. :-? I was diagnosed with the Grave’s when I was 59, so it is something that can hit any age. I still think your mother has an imbalance to be so wired all the time.
I completely understand about not wanting to put her into a stupor. I went through those same frustrations with my mom. All you want to do is give them…….and yourself……….peace and rest. The difference being, my mother’s mind was torturing her and she “thought” she had to take care of someone or unfinished business that seemed so real to her. There was no stopping the frustrations she was experiencing and I just wanted to find something to give her peace in her tormented world. You didn’t say anything about your mother stating she “had” to go somewhere or “do” something, but that she seems to have this innate need to move. Which, to me, sounds like it is primarily her “body” that is going a million miles an hour and not her brain sending her on an imaginary mission. Not sure I am explaining myself very well, but there is a definite difference between the two.
BTW, when you say, “I have had great difficulties with her bathroom habits”. When my insides were going a million miles a minute, my colon was also in hyper drive and I had diarrhea to go along with everything else. My Mom had a bowel resection and we dealt with a sensitive colon. Are we having fun yet? Nothing worse than cleaning up after those accidents!!! EWE!
Your psych doc sounds worthless and maybe starting with the house doctor for the area PCH/NH facilities might help find answers. At least, he deals with the elderly on a daily basis. One would hope he has more applicable information and knowledge.
You said your mother is having trouble recognizing familiar objects. I very clearly remember the night I was playing “Bananagrams” with my mother and instead of words, she started making “pictures” with the tiles. BTW, that is a terrific game because you both are challenged, work at your own pace and can find it interesting. Anyway, up until that night, Mom was able, with some help, to make words. It was the beginning of her rapidly losing ground. Not that I am suggesting that is what is happening with your mother but, I would get her in to be evaluated as soon as you can because if she does, in fact, have hyperthyroid, it will also elevate her blood pressure which can lead to further brain damage, glaucoma and macular degeneration progression. You mentioned she was exhibiting problems with vision now too.
Also, how are her kidneys? My mother had stage 4 renal disease and one of the accompanying problems with that can be intense itching. Mom scratched a 4 inch patch of her head bald. She also complained and scratched her arms and the rest of her body at times due to itching. Tried different medications to giver her relief there too. If your mother’s adrenal glands are involved, they sit right on the kidneys and can be creating some of the problems as well. How is her fluid intake? You said her urine is strong, All this could be related.
I am NOT trying to diagnosis your mother or tell you what to do BY ANY MEANS!!! I am just concerned and passing along what I have experienced because what you are saying sounds familiar. I know how helpless I felt so many times and was extremely happy to read any and all suggestions from others who were walking the same path as my shoes. As you so aptly said, “I am sure all caregivers can relate that the only person that understands whats going on is the caregivers.” And all too often, we feel like we are all alone out here and even the medical profession has left us high and dry to go it alone. Seems no one truly understands or has a clue what is happening with our loved ones.
I hope and pray you will find knowledgeable physicians soon to help both you and your mother. I know it isn’t easy and you must be exhausted and wearing very thin. If nothing else, take advantage of the respite help that is out there! You need time to you, if only to sleep!! I know I would have been in a fetal position under the bed and locked away long ago if it weren’t for the 16 glorious hours a week Hospice stayed with Mom. Caring for anyone who is ill is exhausting enough, but trying to care of someone who is not only ill but not thinking clearly is beyond comprehension. God bless you for the love you are giving your mother and my you be given the strength to deal with all you are going through right now. Please know you are not alone and we, who are and have been there, are here to empathize, offering support and comfort as much as possible