Does anyone have a suggestion as to a sleep aid that will give a dementia sufferer sleep vs. increasing the agitation, confusion and only making the dementia worse? My mother is 95, a hospice patient and lives with us along with my 85 year old father-in-law and our 4 month old grandson. My mother has been up numerous nights extremely confused. Of course, everything she says is very real to her and when I try to either reason with her or try to tell her she can't leave at 3am, she digs her heels in. There is no reasoning with her and I can't tie her to the bed. I need something to give her peace from her deeply confused state. I am exhausted and it breaks my heart watching her struggle with a mind that lies to her. Last night I was up all night trying to keep her from taking the car, that she quite driving 5 years ago, to pick up her brother, who died 12 years ago. She has no balance, her legs are weak and she can barely walk yet was fighting me tooth and nail because I had my hand on her arm trying to keep her from falling down. It is extremely frustrating for not only my family and myself, but her as well. I know if I could just give her a pill during those times that would knock her out and give her a good night's sleep by the next morning life would be better......for us all. Last night, I gave her a Darvocet, two Ativan and an anti-depressant that was supposed to help. HA! I know the doctors don't want to prescribe sleeping pills because they can be deadly in the elderly. I am exhausted because I care for my grandson during the day as well as my mother and now I am up all night too. I need some rest. I love my mother with all my heart and soul and would do anything for her comfort. All her life she told me, "If I EVER lose my mind, just pull the plug because I NEVER want to live like that." And here she is alive in the shell that was once my mother. It is so, so sad because I know she is miserable, exhausted and trying to make sense in situations when there is non to be made. I sure could use some suggestions. No she is not hungry, needs to use the bathroom or any of the other issues sometimes associated with agitation. It is her mind making the unreal seem real to her. I feel so awful and it is heartbreaking to watch and deal with. Thanks!
I had it lightest setting and had my hand resting there to make sure that it was not too hot. Well, with the gurgles produced, I could tell it was like a garden hose with a kink in it, and it just got relieved. This morning was better, slept for three hours, and Nurse came with her insights, her work uhhhh, paid off. Without physically moving around or sitting home, the fecal material is just
not being pushed along. We judged that was his moaning, he felt pain and couldn't suppress the sound of distress. The sleep aid recommended with a call to the doctor was sent, I just looked up on Wiki. It is not recommended for dementia patients. Oh, and that was two hours ago,and it's not working either. Will try the suggestion given on this board for children's cherry benedryl. Will also alternate with magnesium caps which work for me. I must say though, my experience with any and everything, nothing works after Day Three. Nothing. Have had luck with Tart Cherry juice for myself and the dad, earlier in this process when he was up and about. Regular cherry juice doesn't work, and hold on to your hat ...this stuff is tart, and expensive, but a little goes long way, I use it in ginger ale, not too much, counter productive, caffeine and all. Never gave him melatonin. I don't use it anymore, but it never put me to sleep, but I slept more soundly with pleasant dreams. Where is medical marijuana? The substance works on inflammation, it is inexpensive by comparison to prescription drugs. It is nature's way....where is it? Living in Maryland, I can tell you where ours is....it's stuck in committee. The law was passed four years ago. What was to have been summer has turned into 2018. They say they don't have enough in production as yet. Yeahright. What it is really is that not enough thumbs are on the scale, they need more time. So, short of moving to CO or CA, we don't know if these harmless tinctures and oils work for dementia patients when nothing else seems to. The hemp oil can be sold legally in this state and would probably work. What's happening here is....we 'age out' of this problem. Eventually the patient meets The Happy Reaper and former caregivers are out of work and too tired to look back. We have to do better. The paucity of medical assistive devices is shocking. No tools. No patient lifts...there should be a simple side-bed pullout. Roll the patient on the inflatable, roll him or her back when the bed is changed. Rooms should have a garden hammock for those nights when you need to be close by. All hospital beds should have overhead triangles so the patient exercises to keep upper body strength. Where are these things? A hospital bed with something like an overturned playpen, soft protective edges and netting and a bell so he or she can alert you, but the wandering patient stays put for a few hours. Anyone wishing a self inflating mattress to put near the bed to make for a happy landing....look to Houzz App on their Shop link. I got a good single bed reversible mattress there, excellent price, made in the USA. Oh, and here's a suggestion....there are, for your iPad, wwwwwonderful long running sleep videos. One is a train ride, it runs for ten hours....you could embellish the experience by packing a lunch and saying 'don't forget your sweater'. Train rides might cure dementia all by themselves. Readers....This board is great, but we have to demand some changes. We don't have the tools needed...the items might be in a sports and camping store and a toy store or a tool store, but what we need is not in a medical supply store. Oh, here's some innovation....sheets with Velcro tabs. A 'draw sheet' with soft handles to go beneath the patient. Rocket science?
If her doc is a geriatric specialist, consider writing a letter expressing your dissatisfaction. I did this once with mom's doc. He actually thanked me for giving him a kick in the butt. After that the doc visits went much better, and my inquiries were responded to.
IE the bathroom, or the tv room/living room.
Keep all other areas as dark as possible because they are less likely to go into dark areas.
In the kitchen, remember to remove stove and oven dial knobs, and unplug toaster ovens etc.
If they are prone to opening cabinets you can use child proofing devices, or we just used rubber bands and twisted them in a figure 8 between cabinet handles. If they have a drawer you feel is 'ok' for them like the tea towels, oven mitt drawer or a cookie/snack drawer, leave that one unencumbered so they will focus on that drawer(s).
Ditto bathroom (make sure all shampoos, cleaning supplies are secure or out of reach) .
Many dementia patients like to have something to hold most of the time, this is where large soft baby dolls, stuffed toys, towels, or lap blankets can help, including a 'bed buddy' doll or soft stuffed toy to sleep with (especially if they love pets, get a large stuffed animal that may remind them of that pet for them to have around them all day and to sleep with at night. The "pet" sleeping with them may help the stay in bed when they wake up in the middle of the night. (pattern behavior - sleeping with the pet, they don't want to disturb the pet, so they stay in bed with the 'pet')
We have used: Trazadone, Serequel, Doxepine, Alprazalam (dissolveables are best), Depakote, all in varying doses. We have used OTC Tyenol PM and similar products, Melatonin, Valarian, and other homeopathic and naturopathic remedies and combinations with varying degrees of success (and failure with one that actually caused a hyperactive effect). Always with approval by the doctor because of all the other medications in use (Alzheimer's, Blood Pressure, and Artery Disease)
You can also try chamomile tea and similar beverages for calming.
Again with the warning that not everything works the same for every
patient, and most things only work for a while because of the constant changes going on in their brains.
We also put battery operated alarms on all the doors, and alarm/double lock doors that go outside. You can make a necklace or bracelet with a few jingle bells on it. We even used a small cat collar with a bell to put on the wrist, or a bigger one to go above the elbow (harder to reach and remove for the patient).
Keeping something they can do by their bed or in their bed may help them from wandering when they wake up. (coloring book, large baby dolls, tea towels to fold, even a child's plastic tool box with colorful tools. What ever you know may catch their attention and interest them).
I like the dutch door idea for their bedroom, I had never thought of that.
Sometimes if they have a favorite snack (something simple like a cookie) by the bed, that is enough to stop them while they enjoy the snack and perhaps settle down again, and you can reinforce this pattern by giving them the same snack as part of their bedtime routine so they associate that snack with the next step which is laying down in bed.
Help create patterns that help you, because many dementia patients can still connect with 'pattern' behavior.
And finally - if they are prone to wander outside the house, many county sheriffs offer a free gps wrist tracker that they (and only them) can use to help find your loved one.
Many fitness tracking bands now include gps - that you can use to track locations, though I do not know if they are as sharp as the precision location of the police gps band (tracks to within a few feet of location).
Both options worth looking into if you have someone that can get out of the house, or can wander off in a nanosecond when you are out and about
like at a dr's apt, taking them shopping etc.
Hope this helps.
At first l gave my now 88 yo mom prescribed sleep aids. They only made her more anxious. She would get up at all different times. At times she would walk around aimlessly in her room or take things out of drawers and the closet. Now l switched to a natural sedative call Calm Forte. I purchase it at GNC or Vitamin Shoppe. I give her 1 or 2 and it makes a world of difference. She sleeps all night remaining in her bed. An alternative could be Melatonin..but more than 5 mg seems extreme.
Here are the variety of things that we have tried, some worked, for a while, some had moderate success, and some had reverse effects. Trial and error. (all have been done under doctor's guidance).
RX Tazadone (worked for a while, then behavior problems)
RX Xanax (dissolvable) works but sometimes causes wetting problems.
RX Diazepam (Valium) (helped, but daytime confusion increased)
OTC
Melatonin (Helped for a while)
Valerian (drops) (caused hyper activity, gave to a friend - great for their dad)
Benedryl (helps some)
No 2 people are the same, with or without dementia. It is a process of trial and try again. Trazodone was the one the worked the best for us for the longest period of time.
Also hot creamy chai tea (decaf)
Another friend suggested zzzyquil, but we have not tried it.
Tylenol PM contains the same ingredient as Benedryl. That can cause the mind to be a bit "fuzzy" not great normally but has to be worse if your mind is "fuzzy" to begin with. Also Benedryl can be constipating as well.
If your Mom is using a product to thicken liquids Miralax will thin out the thickened liquid. I had to go to a liquid laxative for my husband.
Milk of Magnesia seems to work well when I need "a little something extra" But I have been getting a Tea called Smooth Move and it seems to work a cup or two a few times a week seems to help. And he is taking a stool softener.
As far as the sleeping ask Hospice. My husband is on Seraquel as well as a low dose of Lorazepam. When I get worried and need "the big guns" I go for a bottle of Magnesium Citrate. Works well, can be thickened and it comes in flavors.
I used Melatonin for a while for my husband and that worked until he indicated he wanted the light left on, exposure to light I was told negates the effect of Melatonnin.
(This medicine is usually prescribed for schizophrenia).
I fear you have some signs of a burn-out. I would recommend you to ask for some help very quickly :
- 1) For you : to your General Practitioner,
- 2) For your mum : to her neurologist (prescriptions for medicine to take before going to sleep as well as for a period of respite care in a specialized place),
- 3) For your Grandson : to a help, at least a few hours per day,
This, in order to allow you to have proper nights and rests in the daytime.
Burns-outs are very dangerous for you and for your beloved ones.
I hope you will find some help very soon. Please let me know.
Then I began to noticed that when she is reluctant to sleep or wakes in the night, she has to pee. I was fooled because I take her to pee and she sits for a long time without doing it, then sometime she will pee a gusher within a few minutes of a previous gusher. Last nigh was a good example. Surely she didn't have to pee again so soon, but after she drove me crazy for quite a while, I took her to pee and she did. Also I was feeling just a bit hungry, so I figured she may be also.
We had a filling meal 2 hours before, so I didn't think we should be hungry. We shared a big bowl of hot oatmeal and she went right to sleep. Still learning about her world.
She only has one kidney. A friend recommended MJ and I learned to make cannabutter. A postage stamp sized piece 1/8" thick on cracker became the normal dose and like the wine, brought her back into our world. And even better the MJ comfort lasts for several hours at a time. We have noted a healing at times when we knew it was out of her system. Our state allows medical use and we got her a card. We have experimented with different delivery methods and found that candy bars with equal amounts of THC for the brain and CBD for the body is perfect. The dispensary advised that when CBD and THC are use together, the CBD nullifies the psychotropic affect of the THC and causes a better over all calming. That has proven to be true. It is a new science.
The candy bar begins working within a half hour and last for about 4 hours. We discovered a concentrate that doesn't kick in until about 5 hours but lasts about 6 hours.
We put a dot of the concentrate on the piece of candy bar and she is good all day. Learning the dose amount has been an adventure. With either one, after the obvious calming has subsided there is a long time of 'coming down' which is also a calming time. We are seeing a healing with this, also. The calming time possibly allows the brain to rest from the chaos and promote healing.
When she is constipated, the edibles do not work at all so we just tried a different delivery method. She was never a smoker, so that would not be an option. We bought a pipe and some regular smoking MJ. We used one of her old full full face Cpap masks and cut a hose to about a foot. We would take a couple hits from the pipe and blow into the hose. We were concerned that never being a smoker, it might choke her, but she actually accepted it. That delivery is almost instant but only lasts a couple hours.
I still feel a little guilty giving her a feeling she never would have sought in her other life, but she is so much happier, we laugh much, she sleeps through the night.
And we are not dumping chemicals into her system.
It has been 5 years now, and we still can not comprehend the internal chaos that she is dealing with.
We are thankful for the natural relief.
My friend had the same situation, couldn't get her grandparents out of the house. She, herself has a lot of health issues so she went to the MD connected with the cannabis dispensery and told them it was for her. That way she could go pick it up anytime. I don't know if you'd be willing to do that but it was her way out of having to take them out, as they were hard to handle.
I want to learn more about the use of marijuana helping Dementia/Alzh. patients. I have a couple nurse friends who are strongly recommending it for my Mom because of her sensitivity to presc. meds. I found the CBD online and ordered it. I do not know what the percentage of THC is in it - when I ordered I didn't know to ask that question. Michigan laws have a lot of gray area and it is difficult to get any clear answers on how to acquire a MM card. I understand you have to have the right Dr. and some of the places have a Dr. but I would have to take my Mom to a clinic. Taking her away from home in the car and then coming back home can be difficult. Many times she doesn't recognize her house and keeps waiting to go to her home after we get back from somewhere. Another reason I wanted Hospice - she will get very agitated (when we go somewhere) and stay that way for a few days thinking I've taken her to a new place. As long as we stay where we are (our home) she is fine. Or, she refuses to go anywhere - can't leave her house with no one there because someone is going to break in and steal everything - just a 101 excuses as to why she can't go.
Physicians tried all the common Rx for aggression and sleep. The Rx either did nothing or doubled her over 90 degrees and made her drool. She was still aggressive. She just wandered the house, bumping into walls. And we hated the thought of dumping more chemicals into her, as we are suspecting BP Rx as either cause or severity of the disease.
She gets daily oatmeal with prunes, coconut oil for digestion and brain, honey for antibacterial and lemongrass oil for relaxation (1 drop = 6 mangoes).
Watermelon, because she is stubborn about drinking. We have to hand feed her, usually, but she will feed herself watermelon. We found that cut up watermelon chunks is a great snack if eaten while still a little frozen. Also frozen grapes are the same. We freeze them in quart baggies. We found that both watermelon and grapes become sweeter when frozen.
To get her to drink, we alternate a spoon full of food and a spoon full of water. We use a large spoon.
Meals like chicken and rice, we add a lot of water and make it a soup.
She was often compacted, out of fear of producing stink, so she would always clench.
She was that way as her former self. It is more critical now to encourage production. Frequency, amount and consistency are a topic of celebration daily in this house. We also monitor urine output and are surprised that she can produce a gusher several times per day. It doesn't seem like she inputs that much liquid.
We use a 10 function urinalysis strip and it shows her as half normal hydration, but we live in the desert, so full hydration is difficult even for me.
The test strips also indicate UTI, which had been a problem for years. A UTI will certainly cause night wakening. No UTI's since April 2015.
After 4 years later, an old friend called and suggested something that has worked and now we get a sweetheart most of the time in the day, better communication and often full nights of sleep. We now can tell when she is hungry or needs toilet.
She is grown 2 year old who can't form words or respond, but she can now rattle off a story of jibberish and laugh. We don't know the story but her laugh, makes us laugh. Most hours of the day are no longer hellish and she sleeps 9 PM to 5 AM. On some occasions she will wake to go pee in the middle and it is the greatest miracle, that she knows and can let me know.
We have been giving her an equal THC CBD combination, twice per day. It has been found that the CBD counters the psychotropic affect of the THC. It took over a year to get the right dose and combination, but the results have been consistent for 6 months, now. We often are wide eyed and open mouthed when words we haven't heard in years, happen. I was wiped out of her existence in 2012, but I have been getting unsolicited hugs, lately. We wish we had known 5 years ago.