Looking for guidance on how to interact with my brother around caring for our parents. Today he said he thought my parents were safer living together in a building with an elevator than separately. My Dad has stairs and had a couple falls. However they have a history of domestic violence so I don't agree that it's safe for them to live together. My brother wants to go to therapy with me to discuss elder care and I feel hurt that we can't just communicate directly.
Who is their PoA? If they don't have one, and your parents don't agree to move anywhere, then you won't need to have any conversation about this with your brother since you cannot get an uncooperative parent to do something they refuse to do.
Can you provide more information so we can give you more appropriate suggestions?
However, if bro is POA you may not have a lot to say about it.
I would happily go to a mediator if he is POA, but not counseling. And if I were POA I would tell him his idea is silly.
There is no reason to communicate.
What is important now is what your parents want until they are not competent in their own decisions, and when they are INcompetent, who is POA. Nothing else needs discussing with someone with an idea that bad.
If bro would like to go to counseling then I think he SHOULD and should discuss with a counselor the advisability of putting parents with a history of domestic abuse back together on your says so.
Yes. That is hard.
This can be explored to find the specific problem points & then have suggestions for those if you'd like.
Eg When other carers were unavailable to rush over, I would be asked to. It took me quite a while to realise it didn't so much FALL on me as I STEPPED forward into it's path. It took me much time to learn to keep a safe distance. To DODGE.
Let them all row where they wish.
What's up ahead in your part of the river? 🏞🛶😊
Therapy may be a good thing. It gives you a nonpartisan person to bounce things off of. I would be surprised if a therapist would think that ur parents living together was a good idea. What do ur parents think? I bet Dad thinks its a good idea because Mom can take care of him.