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Seems you need to ask the vet if the dog is at the point that euthanasia is the most humane option.

In the meantime, dad may need to be weaned off constant contact with the dog. Dog probably needs lots more uninterrupted rest. Dad needs to start coping with the dog "not being there" which is inevitable. Maybe say, "The dog is resting now," may help with the transition and when the dog is gone.
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Kittybee and LexiPexi thanks for your comments on my response . They made me cry as I felt that perhaps my response was an “ all about me “ one which was not what I had intended. I really don’t feel I am any more loving or caring than any of us going through this . Just a heartbroken wife of 53 years trying as best as I can to cushion life for my husband to the best of my ability . Also learning that no one thing works for everyone and not to judge any decisions that others make and to ignore those that judge mine.
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LexiPexi Jan 2020
I didn't think it was 'all about you'. It's about all of us going through this journey. You write beautifully. Your last two sentences above says a lot. Don't hesitate to comment in the future.
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This is coming from Dr. Fox which is an animal rights person and a veterinarian. He writes in newspapers and he had written this one that might help you.

I have drafted a basic Quality of Life assessment for animals under our care, which may help you make a more objective decision regarding if your cat has a life worth living and if euthanasia is preferable to keeping her alive. I hope this will help with your decision-making: In considering the quality of animals’ care and welfare, be they domesticated or captive wild, healthy, ill or injured, the following criteria are critical in assessing their well-being and having a life worth living:
» Provision of physical safety, hygiene and comfort.
» Satisfaction of basic physical and social needs.
» Freedom from fear.
» Provision of emotional security.
» Relief from pain and suffering.
» Control over immediate environment, especially for self-care and protection.
» Freedom to express natural behaviors.
» Opportunity to experience various sensory stimuli, which many species seek and enjoy.
Send all mail to animaldocfox@gmail.com or to Dr. Michael Fox in care of Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106. The volume of mail received prohibits personal replies, but questions and comments of general interest will be discussed in future columns. Visit Dr. Fox’s website at DrFoxVet.net.
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NeedHelpWithMom Jan 2020
Thanks for info.
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I agree with the others. I'm very much an animal person and a constipated dog who is dealing with diabetes may be suffering. I know panting is a sign of pain. So please ask the vet. Unless you expect your dad to pass soon, he will have to deal with the dog's passing eventually, even if, as others say, you find excuses to tell him the white lies that the dog is elsewhere. Would it be impossible to have him attach to another similar dog? (I don't know how much your dad can see.)
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That is such a sad story, but you have to ask yourself - what happens when the dog dies on its own? I know that you're asking if the dog should be euthanized and perhaps you can sit down with dad (or not) and tell him that doggie is very unwell. So sad, I know.
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You are in a tough place, as it is obvious your dad is not ready to part with his old friend, and likely the old friend doesn't have very long as it is. If the dog is crying in pain, you might be able to convince your dad it would be more humane to let him go, but if not, and he loves the dog this much, I would try to manage his health as best you can. I'd hate to see a rift develop between you and your dad if he disagrees with your decision to put him down...Your dad is very attached and will grieve when he goes, that's for sure. Maybe he even worries that every trip to the vet is his dog's last, as on some level he may be sensing the inevitable himself. But with dementia it's hard to know. There is no easy answer for this one...my heart goes out to you.
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Dogs use there sense of smell far more than any other!! If the dog is eating and otherwise just hanging out I would advise against putting him down. Hes a heartbeat that your Dad can pet and talk too. Likewise I'm sure his dog likes to just sit next to him. Don't take them away from one another. I try and always follow the wishes as best as I can for the the one who needs care.
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needtowashhair Jan 2020
I agree. I don't know why so many people are concluding that the dog is suffering. I see no evidence of that in OP's post. Yes, the dog has medical problems but so do many people who live rewarding lives. If you judge someone's suffering by a list of physical ailments, what would have happened to Stephen Hawking? With all his medical problems he lived a rewarding live and the world is better off for it.
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I feel no dog or any animal should suffer needlessly. Yet, It’s so hard to part with our beloved animals. We make the decision for euthanasia because we love them and want their suffering to end.

I just want to say to everyone that has lost a fur baby that I know how much you loved and cared for them. We all miss the fur babies that we lose. We also have beautiful memories of them. They added so much joy to our lives. I loved all of my fur babies too.
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I woul dDeal with it just to Keep Dad Going a Bit Longer..If the Dog is Not Suffering, Don't you either. However, When the Dog Does, You make the Decision and tell Dad it was the most Humane way as I Say.
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This is a tough situation to be in but you can deal with dog constipation at home with plain, unsweetened pumkin. One of our previous dogs was constipated. We called the veterinarian, he said to use pumpkin and if she didn't start going in a few days then he would have to use medication. Dog was no longer constipated by the end of the day. Pumpkin also works for diarrhea.
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If you have a caretaker assist for your dad, ask her if she would mind helping w/ some aspects of the dogs care, or hire a dog sitter to do this. Or if you can perhaps you can do it your self. My dog is blind, 15, deaf, but still has quality of life, not in pain and is still somewhat continent of bowel and bladder. If the dog becomes incontinent, or is in regular obvious pain, THEN it is time to put her down. It's dad's dog. Only do what dad would do. If your father passes away first, then you can make these decisions.
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Veterinarian, is the best person to consult on quality of life, for the dog. If the dog has been assessed for a UTI, and other urinary complications, then follow the Veterinarian's quality of life recommendations.
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Thank you EVERYONE for your responses! They are ALL greatly appreciated. We decided to keep the dog with dad. Our hope is the dog will pass at dads home. But I believe he'll continue to give my dad so much love and joy and a reason to live. Pepe (the dog) is not physically suffering but is old, deaf, blind and diabetic. His caretaker is remarkable and will let us know of any changes. It was the vet who wanted to put the dog down. She believes she is the advocate for the animal and feels its the right thing to do. I respect her but we feel this is the right thing to do for our dad. Again thank you all for taking the time to respond to my question!
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Isthisrealyreal Jan 2020
Thank you for the update. I would find another vet. I have met vets that are quick to recommend euthanasia. My vet said you will know, the dog will tell us when it is time.

You are truly blessed to have such great caregivers for your dad and his faithful companion.

Your dad is blessed to have you as his advocate. We should all be so blessed to have someone that looks to our hearts on this journey of caregiving.
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Thank you for keeping that dog alive. I’d say the vet needs to be put to sleep!! Nough said.
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Holy poop!! 74 responses in just a few days. I’m happy that the dog is not suffering and will be kept around a while longer, but it’s interesting how easy it seems to be for us to express our feelings about a dog’s wellbeing.
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There is a very good chance that the dog will die before your dad does. Have you thought about what you will do then? Depending on your dad's level of confusion, you might be able to introduce a toy dog as a "new puppy" now- before it is needed. This may make his distress less when his poor dog passes away.

They have some very realistic animal friends for dementia patients.

https://www.alzstore.com/alzheimers-companion-pet-therapy-p/0604.htm
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Maryjann Jan 2020
Have you actually seen one of these? I am going to bookmark it for my MIL, for when she gets to that point as she just cannot live without a dog.
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As much as you love your dad, the poor dogs well being/ pain and discomfort must be considered too. No one but the dog truly knows if it's in pain.
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Isthisrealyreal Jan 2020
Beth, you can tell when a dog is in pain. They are not silent sufferers, they pant when they are in pain. When they are truly suffering they will even whimper.
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I think we all mean well even tho
our opinions may differ . What we need to keep in mind is that any decision that is made will be made out of love . As an owner of multiple dogs through many years dogs , at least my dogs , are all different . My little one now screams as if she’s in pain when she sees the vet pick up a needle . If I wasn’t in the room I’d think they were killing her when in reality they haven’t even touched her . The dog we lost a few months ago was a stoic and the vet , who knew her her whole life of 15 years said we may never know when she’s in pain until she can know longer walk or stand on her own . I took the advice of my husbands doctors not to put her down as he would be so devastated . I listened until I could listen no more and in hindsight should have let her go way before I did . I know if my husband didn’t have AD he would have made the decision long before I did . As I said what we do is out of love so don’t judge too harshly . Turns out my husband mourned but no more than he would have before AD . Her pictures are taped all over our bedroom and we talk about all she contributed to our lives for so many years each night before bed and every morning when we get up . I will say that the fact that there is another dog in the house to focus on has helped greatly. Do whatever decision is made , and I know how agonizing it is , will be the right one for the dog lover involved .
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