My dad is 92, has dementia but lives at home with a daytime caregiver. He has a dog, 12 yrs old, blind, deaf and is diabetic. He requires 2 shots a day which we pay someone to cover over and administer the shots. The dog wears a dog diaper and also is now constipated. I know, I know, the dog should be put down but it is my dad's joy and reason for living. All he does is love on him. Dad's at the point where he doesn't care if the house smells or he smells. He sobs and sobs (actually wails) when the dog is gone for a couple of hours when he's at the vet. I'm afraid dad will go downhill when the dog is gone but I don't want the dog to suffer anymore. Will dad ask everyday where the dog is and then cry all over again. Its just so awful and sad.
I can stand to see a human 'suffer' as it were, but not an animal. I had to put down my beloved Border Collie and it was the single worst thing I've had to do.
Is dad in Hospice Care? Could there be a new rescue dog brought onto the scene. Is it THIS dog or the joy of something to hold and cuddle that dad loves?
Dad may need some tranquilizers to help him over the passing of his pet, that is going to happen, no matter what you do.
Maybe bring in the 'new pup' (NOT a puppy, but a dog the same breed and temperament) first and get him acquainted. It would be FAR worse for this beloved pet to die in his arms, IMHO.
If more folks were more like dogs - this world would be a better place.
So, it takes a lot for me to agree that
a dog should be euthanized.
If this poor dog is as bad off as you say - it’s time to let him go. He’s done his work here in loving your father and being his faithful companion for 12 years.
If your father were not suffering from dementia - would he want his best friend to be suffering such as this? I’d hope not.
It’s time to do the selfless thing. Yes. It will probably be hard on your father. No doubt about it. But still - allowing this poor creature to continue to suffer is inhuman. Regardless of how it will effect your father - it’s wrong to expect more from an animal in its condition. Let him go - he’s done enough.
Its time for you to be more like a dog.
Oh, your position is unenviable.
While the dog has physical issues, is he actually "suffering"? Does the dog have a reasonable quality of life?
From what you've described, it sounds like the dear creature is old and infirm, but has a few more miles to go, not unlike your poor old dad.
I'm in favor of keeping the two together as long as is humanely possible.
I wish you well,
R27
There is a company that will make stuffed animals to resemble a beloved pet. I do not know the name of it, but I sure it can be found on google.
All I can say is if you took my pup away from me and for the purpose you mention, it would be the death of me. This is said not to engender guilt, just a fact. For many their pets are the true source of love and connection when there are no others.
Do NOT get another dog for your dad when this current one is gone.
Yes, dad will ask where the dog is, but you can give him a therapeutic fib. "The dog went hunting with one of the grandsons, the dog is at the groomer, the dog's at the vet getting an operation done." Any of them work to placate Dad.
Get another dog,not too old.1) It will keep the old dog company, perk it up so it may heal a bit.
2) Dad will get used to the new dog, and when the old dog passes, he will be comforted. And maybe forget that he had another dog. You can name them the same name. Same breed and color even.
I do not envy you on this part of the "long goodbye". ((Hugs))
I firmly believe that we can see if a dog is suffering and that we are responsible to help them not suffer. Could the vet help you understand if the dog is suffering and if there is any medication that could help relieve the suffering without putting the dog down? That would be my 1st step, because your dad is so emotionally attached to this critter. I would exhaust every resource before I euthanized his beloved pet.
All of the issues that you shared are a burden to care for, but nothing that tells me the dog needs to be put down. It doesn't sound like it is suffering.
I have personally never seen or heard of a dog dying in someone's arms unless it is administered death. The dog will likely find a quite, dark place and go to sleep. Could your dad understand the death easier seeing the body and knowing that it just went to sleep? I thoroughly believed that my dad and his beloved best friend would be buried in the same hole. He has recovered and he has adopted 2 middle aged dogs and got a new puppy. Oy vey! But they have given him new life and they are all thriving together.
Unfortunatly dogs have short life spans and we know that we will be dealing with the loss at some point. Finding ways to comfort his heart will be the biggest challenge. Adopting a middle aged dog that is cuddly would be my solution, because they are such faithful companions I think everyone should have one. Even our aged parents, as long as they don't mistreat them.
This depends on how far Dad is into his Dementia. Get a stuffed dog that looks like the one he has. Its like giving a doll to a woman suffering from Dementia. She thinks its real. My daughter had a stuffed cat that people thought was real till they went to pet it.
As long as the pooch isn't clearly suffering (in distress, not eating, etc), why not let things be? If he dies, he dies, so same result, but he might have some relatively good time left with dad in the meantime.
While we don't want to have to say goodbye to our faithful little pals, why not give them a little more time, a little more love and let them give you the signal? As for consulting with vet - maybe okay, but some will just automatically go for the euthanasia suggestion, just looking at the medical side, without knowing what quality of life the animal in question might still have. A former vet's office receptionist once suggested euthanasia when I called about a cat who was hiding a bit and not eating well. We had not even determined what his issue was!! Later I wrote a 3 page letter listing all the reasons (this was only one, but clearly the LAST straw for me) why I would not be back with my remaining cat or any future cat or dog who came to live with me!
Vet advice can be digested, but go with some gut instinct as well.
It’s so sad for your dad. I would not get him another dog though. Animals are a big responsibility. Unless you want a dog and take the dog to visit. There are organizations that have visiting pets too. Does he have that option to participate in one of those programs?
Here they have several people who bring animals to visit with the elderly and some children in hospitals too. The only exception is people with allergies or if they aren’t comfortable around animals.
When I lost my labrador retriever I felt like my 3rd man was missing. I adopted my girl from death row and she has been a blessing sent from heaven. She rescued us after a very traumatic armed robbery and we rescued her from being euthanized because she was smarter than her previous owners.
Doing research on temperament and daily needs of a dog should always be done before bringing a new family member into the house. They are not all labor intensive, feeding, watering and providing a clean place to go potty. I don't take my dog for walks, she plays fetch and swims, that is her exercise, oh and she goes everywhere with me. Not a lot of work for everything that she gives us.
If people are willing to care for this old dog I am sure that they would be willing to help with one that had less needs. A middle aged docile dog would be a good companion for this man that needs to bestow his love to a warm living creature.
Good Luck!
My parents dog is 17 years old, blind, deaf and toothless. If she would wear a diaper that would be so helpful. She bucks like a bronco with one on though. So I take her to pee every 2 hours day or night. I have to chop up her food into swallowable chunks since she has nothing left to chew with. I've spent more on her medical bills than than has been spent on my parents and grandparents combined. The dog doesn't have insurance. The dental care alone cost about as much as a small car. A nice one. Every day she's still with us is a blessing. Dogs are family.
This beloved dog brings your father comfort and has "taken care of" (vice versa, too) and is his best friend.
Please do NOT put him to sleep.
He brings your father companionship, love, and care in life.
If it made your father happy to go to his home and stand on your head for 8 hours, would you do it?
No matter whether it is sooner or a bit later, inevitably the time is looming when that awful decision has to be made for the sake of the dog, I am sure your father, in his previous wellness, would not have wanted his beloved friend to suffer, either.
Engage your vet in a solution, he or she might have good ideas too. Perha, see if he or she is aware of someone who needs to relinquish their own beloved companion due to ill health and would welcome a rehoming situation, perhaps with visiting rights. If your father knows he is looking after someone elses best friend it might give him a sense of purpose, and when his own dog has to be let go he will have something to hold on to and care about. And remember, people with dementia still want something meaningful in their life, they want to make a contribution, they need a sense of purpose.
There is a reason I did not suggest a rescue dog from a dogs home. By engaging the vet in the process you will have more success finding just the right dog from a situation which will optimise the chances of your fathers acceptance and adoption of a second best friend.