My fall's recent fail ended with him "doing time" at a rehab -- my insistence over his refusal. I had found a place that looked fine but his primary overrode my choice and because "he visits there"; i am naïve and said okay. Come to find out, his associate is on the board and its a nursing home as well as a rehab. Didn't know that until after we moved in.
Dads made it through over 10 days with only 2-3 shots of "postal behavior" and he's started to settle in. They put him on Ativan to counter his DT's that he obviously had to go through cause he's the drinker (was, I hope)... I had a meeting with the director of nursing when he was hit with some pain that no one had time to deal with for an hour. It was civil but we got through it. Yesterday he was doing well. today when I called his roommate had screaming dementia and I couldn't even hear dad from all the "help me. somebody help me". It was the second incident of a screaming nursing home patient sharing a rehab room with my dad, who is shaky at best.
I called; they moved him, but I am now getting pretty frustrated. Is there such a thing as relocation at 10 days (our "planning session" for the rehabilitation plan hasn't even occurred yet).
I like most of the staff, but its a nursing home first and then a rehab and they run constantly move rapidly. Lots of minimum wage nice workers but I have never seen the doctor yet who I remember to be rather patronizing (my father's primary's associate who ive met at the hospital when dad got his ankles surgery) If I talk to him, I want to be completely educated on my fathers rights and my expectations.
On the other hand, sleeping dogs could lie. The 2nd "screamer" is out of the room and tonight its quiet; and I could simply go to the social worker and tell her ...tell her what? anybody know what I should do here?
Here, transitional care units/rehab centers usually share a building with a nursing home, but they are their own floor or wing and do not share staff. Are you sure that dementia patient was a nursing home resident, or could he have been there for rehab, too. I'm glad they moved him out of your dad's room in any case.
If your father is on medicare, he can go to any rehab center that accepts medicare and has an opening. There are advantages to having him in one where his doctor visits, and oversees the meds, etc.
Did he have to wait an hour in pain because they were too busy, or because they checked and it was too soon for another dose?
If you want to move him, how will you decide which (among the ones that have openings) would be best? The one that looked fine to you -- was that not associated with a nursing home? How could you be certain that Dad wouldn't have had to wait an hour for pain meds there, too? How could you predict what his roommate might suffer from or be like?
Dad has settled in. That sounds valuable. You have begun to establish a relationship with the director of nursing. That is good. They did remove his unsuitable roommate. That is good. You like most of the staff. Good again.
No transitional care/rehab facility is going to be perfect. And it is important to understand that this is not a hospital, and also not a nursing home. Do have that discussion with the social worker. Learn what are realistic expectations. Tell him or her your specific concerns and see if those are because of unrealistic expectations or slip-ups. Also wait for the first care conference, and get some idea of how long Dad is expected to need this. That may make a difference in your view of whether to change facilities.
Caregiving does not come with a manual. Most of us learn much of what we know the hard way. I didn't know what to expect from rehab the first time I encountered it. You'll get through this! Dad really does need you to advocate for him at this time.
all dad can do to keep what sanity he has left is know im coming every day. I like the staff; dads getting used to them. im going to try to talk to the case worker and see if we can agree to only use the (empty now) bed beside him for another rehab patient, if its necessary.... what do you think of that? you sure cant go far out of your room unless you expect to let reality ride for a while. and my dad is just on the verge of loosing his connection with reality now. that's why im worried.
Go to the director or manager at the facility you want and tell them the story you have told us; see if they can help you make the switch.
In other words, being in a unit that only has legitimate rehab patients does not assure that none of them will have dementia.
Just so you know ...
Hang in there! Let's hope things settle down long before he comes home.
I also don't know if Dad "blacked out." Both my mother and my husband have had many episodes where they didn't remember the drama and trauma just hours after it happened. Neither were in alcohol withdrawal. Both had dementia. I have a niece who started "blacking out" as a teenager, as a result of having seizures -- neither alcohol nor dementia involved. If I were you, I would definitely discuss this total lack of short-term memory in this situation with his doctor.
You mention that he blacked out when he used alcohol, and that he slurred his words on the phone call tonight. Is there any possibility he could be getting alcohol? (Seems remote, doesn't it?) Could any of his drugs be causing these symptoms?
Discuss this with his doctor. Get help (from someone more knowledgable than me!) about what to expect from the alcohol withdrawal, and also to understand the other symptoms he is experiencing.
I am so sorry you are going through this!