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This is common and frustrating, dootiebooks. You may want to read: https://www.agingcare.com/135062
At least you will know you aren't alone. As for asking for more in the will, you can try, but you should get your caregiving duties in writing and have everything down so it doesn't cause problems down the road.

Please keep coming back for support. It does help to know you aren't alone.
Carol
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I also care for my Mother while my sister and brother visit once or twice a year, although my brother does call her every night. I would never think to ask for "more" in the will.
Being the caregiver is not something you do for money! It cost me money to take care of Mom and have her live with us, but that is my duty. What my brother and sister do or don't is what they will have to live with.
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I'm with bauer on this one. You gotta ask yourself, why did I take on the full responsibility of care-taking? Was it for the money, duty, guilt, love etc. what's the reason? If it turns out to be money, you're in for a hard road ahead with your endurance and attitude I think. In the end, love is always the reason people stick with taking care of a difficult person. I would give myself a nervous breakdown if I were to obsess about money and making sure I got my 'due rewards' in the end. I need an 'attitude adjustment' about helping my mother-in-law, but it's NEVER about money. No way. I'm gonna to have to answer to God someday about all my actions, and I sure don't want this thing to be one of them.
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Interesting topic. I didn't do it for money, and it's cost us, too. We do get some compensation, for expenses that are for the care of our loved one's needs. But it's provision for their need, not profit for us. For instance, gas for the car. But we provide the maintenance, wear and tear. The hours spent working are never compensated. The sacrifice, was of my own volition, to help. I'm not in this for personal gain, but as a service to needy people. We are all needy, and my needs are met through the love and encouragement I get from those who understand what it's all about. We don't even get a thank you from the loved ones we're caring for. In fact, sometimes it's just grief. But, God knows. That's all that matters. All the rest is wood, hay and stubble.

Let someone else fight over the will. Choose peace.

I'm with naheaton. My focus is on meeting needs, which is what God called me to do. I am my brother's keeper. Jesus provided for his mother, and we should do likewise. Even the Good Samaratin looked after the needs of strangers, out of his own pocket. There's a lot of people out there, willing to give. Shouldn't we?
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