Hi..things are getting really hard. Mom hurt her back and stopped going to the bathroom both ways. Dr. got nurses out and we are working on that....but I am needing nurses to stay the night as she is getting worn out and really cold...and asking same questions a lot. Right now I am paying out of pocket. This will break me shortly. She has no money so how do I switch her to Medicaid? Do I need a lawyer? She has one...am trying to get him back..mom fired him during that incident this summer. Does anyone know if it is a long process? And am I restricted to the nursing service I can use? She already gets state help for medicare..thank you!!
I've been tiptoeing around the nursing home question for fear of your reaction. If you read many, many threads here, you see that people start out saying "my mother would never survive in a nursing home," or "I promised I would never put him in a nursing home," or something of the kind. Once you refuse to discuss the question further, you get stuck. Put aside the "I would never put my mother in a nursing home" and think about "what would happen if I put my mother in a nursing home." To her? To you? Surely, she'd be safer and calmer---and you would get a good night's sleep for the first time in years. I just re-read your post from last night --- your mother "made the night nurse leave" and "threatened to call the cops." RW, for heaven's sake: those aren't rational acts; your mother is suffering from dementia! She needs to be in a place where she isn't the night nurse's boss, and where qualified people can prescribe actions or meds to calm her down.
But the doctor feels that the ativan may be accelerating the memory loss and when my mom is feeling good, she is shocked by the tapes I play of her.
So we are going to discuss with the psychiatrist about switching her to another tranquilizer......I hope there are others out there that are not benzos.
I was reading reports from the UK and they say benzos are causing longterm brain damage and are harder to kick than heroin but marketing dollars are keeping it quiet. very scary.
going to try to figure things one step at a time.....
trying to get through to medicaid today...thanks so much for your support...
hugs
I suspect it will be easier than you think, although other folks on this forum know much more about it than I do. And I'm sure it varies from place to place.
Also --- when you say your mother "stopped going to the bathroom" --- do you mean she is using a bedpan, or that she's incontinent in the bed or in her clothes, or that she has actually stopped urinating and defecating?
And when you say she's cold at night --- are her hands and feet actually cold to the touch, or is she still feeling drafts that aren't there?
Finally, back to Medicaid --- sorry I'm jumping around, I'm actually at work --- don't be afraid of the agency. I think they'll admire you for having kept an elderly, blind and disabled person off of Medicaid at your own expense for so long.
She has declined through rapidly since the summer with the Ativan and Hyrdocodone issues.
The doctors think her back pain..perhaps a broken bone they cannot see-----caused her to get constipated and that slowed her urination.
After all the home treatments and nothing working...the doctors sent a nurse for a high colonic.....and it got things moving. And she peed a little more.
Now they are waiting to see if things can resume naturally....right now it is slow and she is not feeling too well....lack of energy etc
The doctors are sending nurses to examine her...
The coldness is an issue she has had for years but it is getting worse....she is now keeping the room at 90degrees..
again the doctors have run all the tests...normal!!
I am getting on the medicaid plan asap..thank you!!
I totally forgot with everything what to do....as I am trying to keep my business running...
but when I saw how much just a few nights of nurses are costing I realized I would be broke again in no time......and I cannot let that happen again.
Thank you for your support...I will be making calls tomorrow.
after I go to my doc...the stress is getting to me and I have not been taking care of myself...so I want to get some advice...
I realize from all of your support how easy it is to let everything go...money, health , relationships,work....I see now how I was trapped in a situation that was getting odder but I was so close to it I could not see it...I was just in survival mode...
now I realize I need to preserve my health ..money and relationship...this could be years of this left....
although honestly I pray not for both her and me..
thanks!!
my mom got into bed with her bad back--which she knows can be a problem..and when the nurse tried to help her apparently she said it hurt more..
and the nurse tried to ask her to please stop calling me.....
ugh.....unreal...I am not answering her calls anymore tonight
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