Have any of you done pre-planned funeral arrangements for family? Did it make it easier in the end?

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Have any of you done pre-planned funeral arrangements for family? Did it make it easier in the end?

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Last week we made preplanned funeral arrangements for my Mom, after discussing with family the type of funeral we wanted to have. I contacted 3 homes to get quotes and specific details. The price ranges between the three were wide for the same services.

it just seemed like the right thing to do as I wouldn't want to have to make those arrangements in the emotions of the moment. Saw how that went with my MIL and it wasn't pretty or cheap. Some advantages to prearranging the funeral are that it will fix the costs; everyone knows in advance what and how the services will proceed; if Mom passes at home, I can call the funeral home directly and they will pick her up and take her to the coroners office to have her pronounced.

Making these arrangements in advance took one more background stressor out of my life. Just wondering if others have done the same and if it made things easier in the end?

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We did that for my father-in-law when he was within 6 months of dying. Picked out the casket, headstone, cemetery etc. My folks had their funerals all figured out too. Dad was Navy, so mom was cremated and put in the cubby hole awaiting for my dad when he dies. They did it themselves, then told us kids what the plans were. Much less stressful when the time comes, to have all your ducks in a row and not have to worry about it. Worked for us.

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My Mom took care of her arrangements 6 yrs ago too... She sat with the funeral director picked out her own casket and what she wanted her ob to say..

We also were advised by our Atty. to sign over the Life Ins. policies to the Funeral Home so the monies are not part of her estate...

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My Dad planned everything ahead. When the time came it was so easy for me! Especially when that is the absolute worst time to do make plans, when you are so very sad! We recently planned my brother-in-laws funeral. He had done it years ago in Nevada. Since he is here with us now in MD, we took all the arrangement plans with us to the funeral home. It was prepaid so long ago, but the money had made enough interest to pay for the funeral now and it was transferrable to here. Only $100 dollars difference. I breathed a sigh of relief. While we were there, I asked my husband if he wanted to plan his own. He said "NO" very loudly. He asked me to do it for him. So I guess I will go and plan both of ours pretty soon. My hubby has Alzheimer's and later it will be harder to get out. I might as well get both of them done at once. An by the way, I went to a funeral service in my church last week. The lady had planned out the service with all her favorite hymns and prayers. She even told the pastor the theme for the sermon. She wanted him to say that she was where she wanted to be...... with Jesus, and that she was expecting that she would be extremely happy there. Faith is a very comforting "thing" to have when you are ready to die! Never understimate the power of your beliefs! They mean everything.

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Yes, I think doing pre-planned funeral arrangements is very helpful. I took my parents to the local funeral home last week so they could assign their life insurance policies to the funeral home. The funeral director gave them both information packets so we would know what kinds of things to talk about. It was hard, but doing it together was helpful and we were able to laugh about some things. Over the past year, I've been able to get a lot closer to my mom as she enters the stage of Alzheimer's where she has no short term memory but remembers the early years of her life.

I picked up an information packet for myself as well. I think it definitely makes things easier for all, especially if you are able to make plans while they are still in decent physical and mental health.

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Right now I'm in good health but given what I went thru with my parents and the you never know, I need to take out a funeral policy on myself . I want to make it as easy as possible for my daughter when that time comes for me , she is my only family. Both my parents were very sick, my Dad was so cynical (sp?)he never made any arrangements. I ended up taking care of both parents pretty much at the same time. After Dad passed given the experience I had, I almost immediately made plans for Mom. It really makes sense financially and other wise, its like an insurance policy. If the funeral home that u want to have service at somehow is no longer in business ,you don't lose your money because the policy is with another company. Its one less thing to worry about when the time comes. You never know like I said, my parents were sick before ,it was very stressful ,I was exhausted not to mention the many other issues I had going on. Making arrangements with a clear head, thinking in the terms practicality and not focusing on the fact its the end only the beginning.

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Yes, my MIL made her simple arrangements 14 years ago with the local funeral/mortuary home. We called when she passed and they took over. We went in that afternoon and they checked over our information (address/phone) and just reviewed what MIL had picked out. About an hour or so (we also chatted) and we were done. They called when the death certificates came in and we picked them up. All had been paid for 14 yrs ago and there were no changes so no extra money required. Since her daughter was out of the state, no immediate memorial service.

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My uncle died at 29 building Dodgers Stadium in LA, so the rest of the adults all purchased plots around him in 1960 which was smart since the plots now sell for $25,000 each!!!!! No one purchased a prepaid funeral package until my aunt who passed in 2004. I have to say that it made everything so easy, Forest Lawn knew exactly what they were doing and all we had to do was take in her clothes. When my father passed in 2006 we had to go and make arrangements and they were still wonderful but it is really a bad time to have to make these decisions. We had a option of them putting up a slide show about his life but there could only be 8-10 photos and that just could not do him justice, so we put together the slide show and it was wonderful showing all aspects of his life. When my brother in law passed at an early age, my sister was unable to handle anything and her in laws stepped in and did a wonderful job!

I think making arrangements ahead of time is the absolute best thing a person could ever do. My sisters and I are going out to take care of Mom's arrangements this summer so when the time comes it will be taken care of and we can grieve our loss and celebrate her life.

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My mother had lung cancer and while she tried to pretend that she thought she was going to recover, she privately knew the odds were against her. She wrote down specific funeral arrangements and told me once where they were kpet, after which she never referred to them again. When she died suddenly in the hospital about 6 months later, I was relieved to have those instructions because I was on my own and things were difficult enough without having to make too many decisions. My mother was a member of a local church so her instructions involved working with the priest there who knew her well and was very helpful in managing many of the details of her funeral. My father, on the other hand, died without any instructions or arrangements having been made. However, in that case I was one of 6 siblings (my father remarried so he had many more children than my mother did) and we knew that our father did not want a religious ceremony so it was fairly easy to go from there since I wasn't alone and were in agreement about what needed to be done, dividing up the tasks among ourselves.

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I'm going through this right now. I know my mom wants to be cremated and have her urn buried in her mother's burial plot, so that much has been decided. With some of the recent scares we have had (her blood sugars have plummeted without warning to 29 and 22 within the past 2 weeks) I am tempted to contact a funeral home near her nursing home and ask about prearrangement. Let's face it - we all know what is coming down the road, so in my mind there is no need to wait until the time comes to made decisions that will be clouded by emotion. I guess that's just the realist in me though...I'd rather be prepared ahead of time.

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Mom & Dad both wanted to be cremated, so they signed up with the Neptune Society. When Dad died they came and got him and he was cremated for $300. We upgraded the urn, which sits on Mom's dresser, for an additional $90, and ordered the additional death certificates through them. They were extremely helpful. Mom told me when she goes, she wants a double size urn, so she and Dad can be put in the same one, then "give it a good shake, like a martini - after that I don't care what you do" LOL. I figure after she and Dad have been returned together, we'll get them a spot somewhere with a stone, so the family can have a place to put flowers, but it's nothing immediate that has to be done.

Have any of you done pre-planned funeral arrangements for family? Did it make it easier in the end?

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