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I won't be able to tell the whole story here but the issue is that both my adoptive father and my mother had separate wills and my step-sister was appointed POA and eventually executor of my adoptive father's estate and I am an enforced POA for my mother's estate. My adoptive father passed away over 6 years ago and I had to move my mother up to live with me since she doesn't speak much English and can't drive or live on her own.


So there were two homes (one they lived in) and 2nd home they let my step-brother live in when he came back to town to look after them (mostly his dad) since the rest of us lived out of town and couldn't drive often to check on them. Both had dementia and he took advantage by adding his name to the joint checking account and ended up taking money and caused a lot of problems with my step-sister who was POA. Anyway, we were all estranged since my adoptive father's passing. The primary home was sold after it went through probate and money is in my mom's savings for her future care if she goes into nursing home which now I've determined that it is time. But the 2nd home, my step-brother occupied since he felt entitled to it since there is a warranty deed/TOD deed supposedly that it would go to him only if BOTH of them passed.


Still waiting to talk to the lawyers and getting a copy of it to see how it is stated but wanted opinions from others facing similar situation... Now, HE has died so what happens now since my mom is still alive and the actual deed is technically in her name?


She is still physically healthy and will probably outlive me even though her dementia has gotten worse where she doesn't know her name or mine for that matter. Do I have the right as POA to sell the house as long as the proceeds go to her care and it is documented? Anything so far coming out of her accounts were for HER needs such as her adult day care, insurance, meds and personal needs and are documented. I was already going to write to him before I heard the news that I was going to list the house as an asset for Medicaid planning and when it kicks in then the government will have the right to recover any benefits paid out for her long term care. As with first house, it doesn't make sense to keep when she will never return to live there. He was living alone since his estranged wife and kids moved away two years ago to live in another state. They came to clean out his belongings but one of the sons wants to move in to lay claim to it since they think they are still entitled to it. I never pursued legal action earlier because I was afraid my step-brother would come up and harass me and possibly cause harm since he does have a felony record. I would've had to file a restraining order, he was that bad and I have names of the neighbors in that town who could attest to his troublesome behavior to them as well.


I want this house issue to be dealt with now and not later since it has dragged on long enough. His kids are practically strangers to me so I don't know them or trust them. Maybe they turned out and not like their dad but it sure seems like it since they are looking for a handout again. I only saw them maybe twice growing up and once at my father's funeral. I actually don't care about the house other than I don't want it to be a Medicaid penalty so it can't be "gifted" to them; I was told this 6 years ago; otherwise, it would've been handled then and I wouldn't have to deal with them now. The lawyer at the time said that mom has the right to house in case she needs the money for long term care and that the kids (yes, including me) are NOT entitled. I want to go by the books too; it just seems a liability for the house to be still under my mom's name and now I have to hire a property management company and pay the property taxes which step-brother was paying as his "rent". I should've looked to a legal agreement but did not previously since he was so-called "family". It is causing a lot of anxiety; I'm burnt out.

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Definitely keep that attorney appointment. I know that you know your Mom's estate pays for this. You need advice of an attorney who will help you interpret the powers your POA gives you. If it is not enough to do sales (mine was) then you will need to have a guardianship to do these transactions, or conservatorship. The Forum isn't a place to seek attorney advice, but Igloo often has good overall advice on some of these things. Do see that attorney and wishing you the best of luck going forward.
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Blended families are often fraught with all kinds of unhealthy drama. I'm not sure what your specific LEGAL question is, but this anonymous, crowd-sourced forum is not the place to get professional guidance to solve your dilemma. You don't even say in which state this is all happening. This is important to know since laws can differ by state. Please invest in a consult with an elder law/estate planning attorney for your mom's home state. No one on this forum is an attorney, that I'm aware of, and that's what you need.
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