I have a sick (dementia) 54 year old woman living in my house. In 2021, she stopped talking, does not eat on her own, hardly walks, does not understand anyone .. sleeps poorly at night. sometimes she fights .. one person cannot put her on the toilet, since when taking off her clothes, she does not give in .. she lets go on the floor .. therefore, one person needs to hold her (face to face), and the second person takes off her "clothes" ., also take bath procedures. Also needs to be near her all the time, she suddenly gets up and wants to go, but since she quickly gets dizzy and can fall... Tell me please, how much will it cost to care 24 hour (at home) for such a sick woman?
At 54 if she has dementia it is ALZ or wet brain. Take her to the ER and explain she's a renter and that you're not her caregiver and that she's an "unsafe discharge".
This woman needs more help than you seem to be able to give her. If she is not related to you I am wondering why you continue to care for her. Aides are $15 to $20 an hr. Even if related, I personally would not be taking care of this person. Call APS and tell them you cannot care for this woman any longer. Or send her to ER refusing to take her back to your home.
That means it is cost prohibitive to try and do this in home.
But a Village of helpers becomes necessary. Villagers that are patient, kind, that add joy, those with the strength to roll people, transfer & use lifting machines, those with the management skill to run all the services & staff.
When you take on a *mission* as a *lone caregiver* it can become lonely real quick. Lonely. Too heavy - physically & emotionally.
You burn out.
Ask yourself WHY you have taken on this *mission*? You & your Wife, right?
I took this from your reply;
"wife and I don’t want to give her away anywhere... she’ll just die if we leave her..and we feel very sorry for her"
Unpack all that.
LOOK at your language you use.
I notice straight off it contains many FEELINGS & assumptions.
"don't want to give her away"
You are SAD, OK. Maybe fearful too.
"she'll just die if we leave her.."
Really? Why do you say this?
Would you leave her alone? Or in a NH/group home/care facility?
"..feel sorry for her".
Sadness again. OK.
Welcome to the forum. You are reaching out for the wider community, looking for others to help, looking for the *Villagers*.
Well done. Keep going. Find them.
https://www.genworth.com/aging-and-you/finances/cost-of-care
Average was $33.00 an hour. If she really needs two people at a time, all the time, there’s no way anyone but the top .1% can afford to pay for it, especially since the early onset means it could go on for decades.
My back of a napkin estimate, is about $15,000,000 for just the caregivers for the rest of her life. (33x2x24x365.25x25) If this kind of money is a real possibility, don’t skimp on good professional legal/medical/financial advice.
It will cost a lot. I did some home care, that alone is about 25 dollars an hour , from a company, private might be less. But when I did home care and a client was declining this badly I would call the company and tell them I can't go there anymore, I wasn't about to risk hurting myself for a job. So I think it's going to cost more .
I have no clue on your financial situation but I do believe if your wife was of sound mind she wouldn't want you to risk everything for her well-being.
As a wife with a sound mind, I would tell my husbands to put me in a nursing home, visit me but don't ruin your life, health, and fiance over me
Again I'm so sorry 😞
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