My FIL is an alcoholic, doesn't bathe, lives in filth, and only eats pizza and beer. We are out of state and not sure what to do as he is adamant that he is capable of caring for himself. We have sold his vehicle bc he was a danger to himself/others. The situation is only deteriorating and now he is now hanging with shady people that are taking advantage of his state. We handle his bills because he was spiraling out of control and almost lost his home. We are trying our best but he refuses help, admits he is an alcoholic but doesn't want to change. There is only so much we can do from afar, and we can only get to him so often. Any suggestions would be welcomed.
A few days went by and no one had heard from him and when his landlord was contacted he found my friend on the floor, by the front door, unconscious. He had had a massive stroke. There was spoiled food left on the kitchen counters and the place was a mess to say the least. My friend was taken to the hospital, then to rehab, and then to a nursing home. This isn't what he planned on the end of his life looking like.
You can't stop your FIL from drinking. Save your breath and your time. Keep in touch with him and if you don't hear from him for a couple of days (or whatever is normal for you) send the police to do a well-check on him.
There's nothing you can do.
If so, you could try to get home care intervention from a doctor, but I suspect he doesn't have one and wouldn't accept care. You could also try to get injunctions against the shady characters but this would involve some observation and/or research of your own, which doesn't seem geographically possible.
And I'm not sure if a Durable Power of Attorney would extend to that kind of action. Even then, your FIL would probably not be in disagreement about keeping these people away from him.
I suspect he's hanging around with them because he's on a downward spiral and they're more equivalent to his current situation and self perception than folks who are living healthy livies. He's seeking his own level of deteriorating, antisocial, negligent behavior, for whatever reasons.
Are there any other family members who could intervene, assuming he would be willing to listen to them?
You could contact Adult Protective Service in his area and ask them to evaluate him, but he could refuse to allow them in and/or refuse to cooperate with them. Telling APS he's involved with "shady" people that are exploiting him would be appropriate, although I'm not sure what they would do in that situation except make a referral to law enforcement to determine if the shadeys and/or your FIL are involved in criminal activites.
It does sound as though he's hell bent on a destructive course of action and there's nothing you can do about it. I wish I could think of something, but his resistance would probably undercut your actions.
Know that you've tried, but he's made decisions that require his cooperation to reverse, and that doesn't seem likely to happen.
Perhaps others will have better suggestions. I haven't really dealt with this kind of situation.
Every county has an Office of Elder Affairs. Call the one where he lives and see what they suggest or check their web site. The other option is to find out about Geriatric Care Managers in his area. Might be expensive, but worth it if he will listen to an objective outsider with HIS best interests at heart. No easy answers here as the disease really takes over after while, just as it does with Alzheimer's. Keep in touch - we are here to get each other through the hard times. Hugs!