Before my father was diagnosed with stage 4 stomach cancer last July, he was always there to supervise and be involved in my mom's care. My mom has had the same "bath aide" since 2010-ish when she became fully disabled. "Sara" was a daughter of a friend/co-worker my dad had, so they gave her a chance- I have never liked nor trusted her, and I have always voiced that to my parents. When my father got sick last year "Sara" became more than just a bath aide for both of them. I tried to be there as much as possible, but I have a young family of my own and I work anywhere from 40-65 hrs per week. I am an only child, so I have no siblings to help, and am the sole relative of my mother (that gives a crap what happens to her) that lives in state. My husband is always there to lend a hand and help, but he and "Sara" have never seen eye to eye, and so he avoids her as much as her can. Even though I've been voicing my concerns about "Sara" for years, but my mom refuses to replace her. "Sara" is an independent contractor paid through the Medicaid/Medicare system and so there is no agency for her to answer to- or for me to go to for help. Before my father's death "Sara" somehow got my dad to give her his empty mobile home for FREE and at one point had talked him into hiding a fugitive in his garage for almost a week. Toward the end of my dad's life, when he wasn't able to care for my mom anymore so care was mostly done by "Sara" a visiting nurse made a complaint to DHS about "Sara's" care for my mom not being up to standards and warned me that there had been times she had noticed money come up missing from other clients of "Sara's". "Sara" thought the complaint made by the nurse was made by me, and decided to place a retribution complaint about me. It was dismissed, and I did end up placing a formal complaint about her later- when I saw her taking my mom's expired meds to give to another elder she cares for. Then somehow, the neglect charge I filed on her was turned back around on me, and transformed into a charge of financial exploitation. DHS claimed I was using my mother's money for personal gain. When really, I was just trying to keep all our heads above water (not lose her house or mine and keep all our lights on) while my dad's estate was being figured out and his life insurance money was pending. Then I discovered that "Sara" just so happens to be friends with the only two DHS workers that handle elderly cases in our county. Within a matter of 6 months of the reported charge she has been able to get my POA stripped from me, and I have been founded with financial exploitation. The actual law nor a judge was ever involved, only DHS. From what I am told (which isn't much as DHS refuses to give me any more information), there is no current POA in place to help my mom handle her finances. DHS has decided that my mom (who suffers from dementia) was cognitive enough to manage her own finances with help from "Sara". However, if you ask her, my mom has NO clue what is happening with her money. "Sara" carries my mom's check book with her everywhere and won't let anyone else see it. I know she is manipulating my mom into signing checks to use the funds improperly, as she was unable to pay my husband for the yard work my mother hired him to do (I know from previously doing her bills there should be more than enough). My husband owns his own yard work company, and has done the outside work for my parents since we met in 2004. A couple days ago, after finishing some work, and after "Sara" arrived (he was there before her) he went in to the house discuss when she would be able to pay for work he completed in the yard. "Sara" threw a fit when my husband wouldn't change his already agreed upon hourly rate telling him "Your not getting any of her money!" He left the situation and went outside to clean up his work area, thinking he would just get paid at a later date. "Sara" came storming out of the house on the phone, she had called my mom's DHS worker and the police on my husband to try to have him arrested (for trespassing) and our kids (who were with him) sent to DHS upon his arrest (I was at work). Thankfully the policeman spoke with my husband and those things didn't happen- However, "Sara" was able to talk my mom into signing a No Trespassing order against my husband for a year. Now she and one of her kids will be in charge of/paid for doing yard work, and my husband won't be paid for the work he has already done. I don't know what to do- I've talked to lawyers, I've talked to DHS, I've talked to the police. There seems to be no way to get rid of this woman as long as my mom wants her there. I don't want to cut ties with my mom, but I also can't sit around and watch her being taken advantage of..... Any ideas or referrals for where I can get some help would be immensely appreciated!!
