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My 83 year old mom (has some dementia (short term memory only so far) and arthritis) has been having a rough time lately. She was up here staying with our family Dec-Feb but wanted to go back and try living again in her home alone. She was up here with us over the holidays and stayed a little longer.

For the past 4 years, she has been using a walker and we have home health aides set up for her in her home to help her - generally coming once or twice a day to help her. From February to mid April, no problems at all and was doing fine. She went with us to the beach for spring break in April, then came back and had a bout of dehydration which landed her in the hospital for 2 days. She came home and was still dehydrated (IMO they discharged her too early) and we found a new doctor in her area that does home visits and he has been monitoring her ever since. I just wasn't impressed with her current doctor. New doctor came and did an IV for her and then she slowly started to get better and was walking again with walker. We went to visit her this past weekend and when we got there she wasn't feeling well and was pretty disoriented. The home health aid who was there when I arrived - said when she saw her last she was doing fine so it seems this came on all of the sudden. I called her doctor, who came over to check her out - and found out she has a urinary tract infection. She has been on antibiotics for 5 days now and is not bouncing back as she has done in the past...of course I called the doctor and he came over to check her again and is going to do an IV for her today to help get her more hydrated and that should assist her with getting over this UTI. Of course, I am so worried as I had to leave on Tuesday to come home as I have to work and I have two small children (ages 4 and 6) that are in school. My mom is just so isolated there (we are 350 miles away) and has no socialization other than the home health aides, we have tried different things to get her to do something but she just sits in her chair and watches TV. There has to be more to life for her than this...I've found a wonderful assisted living place very close to us that I want to move her to. And actually while she was here visiting, she went to visit it with me as my co-workers mother lives there and my mom loved it and asked the staff if they had any space for her....I so wished I would of moved her in right then and there. Now, I am just praying that she will get better so she can move her up here. I know I don't have any specific question and it is more of a vent but I do welcome any comments or inspirations as I know all of us are suffering right along with our parents as their health declines.

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Good Show! Move her in! And empty out the house and sell it ASAP so she is not tempted to go back. After a month or two, they go through a bout of homesickness, but be firm that she is safer and better off where she is. Also talk to the MD about anxiolytics to ease the transition. Make sure the head nurse at the ALF knows you and you know him/her and compare notes monthly.
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Yeah, that is a very real,factor in someone not really being OK to live on their own...if a minor infection can throw the move the edge like that, they may not even realize to call for help or UE a LifeLine. And being close to family in the later years can mean an awful lot all around.
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In our family's experience, there was a time where mom was ok in ind living near her old friends and sbout an hour away from each of her involved kids that changed when she had a stroke. It became clear that she needed to be really close to one of us. Yes, move her soon!
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I second/third the move-her-soon idea. The other thing I have come to learn with my parents is they can go through many crises that each seem like it could be "the end". My mom has bounced back so many times. The first time I took a parent to the Emergency Room, I thought it was the end. Now I look back on that and laugh. Most older folks are amazingly resilient.

My mom used to wind up in the hospital every October for about 3-4 years. Then it just quit. Who knows why? So hang in there and get your mom nearer to you and she'll probably do much better. She'll still have her ups and downs, but you'll feel better about managing it since she'll be closer to you.
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Thank you for all your responses...it really does help to know that I am not alone. Update -- My mom just didn't seem to be recovering from UTI so I had home health have her admitted into hospital. Seemed like a good call because some of her levels were off (magnesium) and she had a slight infection in her blood which they are treating, which I think was caused by UTI. My wonderful husband - agreed to go down so that she wouldn't be alone in the hospital. I felt guilty not going, but it seems I handle the boys better and he handles crises much better than me. I hope they are able to stabilize her soon - as once she is out of the hospital - my husband is bringing her up here to rehab and then straight to her assisted living.
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That's a good update...glad you are getting help and support. Blood infection, or sepsis is not usually "slight" but looks like they caught and treated early enough! Bless you!
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They never said that word "sepsis" but I thought so too....it was getting better but didn't totally clear up and they put her on a different antibiotic and she is responding. He also made sure (due to lots of antibiotics lately) that the new antibiotic also treats c-diff -- just in case. That would be all we need right now. She has had c-diff in the past while in rehab and that was no fun. Thank you for your responses....I am blessed.
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