Dinzel here from Australia. Sorry I cannot find my account. I am alone and ill in Australian bush. Very wealthy parents told me last year they were disinheriting me because I was lucky they adopted me in Ireland at age 4 months in 1957. Narc Mum has always been cruel to me. There could be dementia involved now also but she knows things such as exactly
how much my Disability Pension from Welfare is. She told me they got
me to replace a little girl they had lost the year before and even changed my first name to that of their deceased child. 8 years later a male child was born to them. My Mum was ecstatic as she is Italian and boys seem to mean the world to them. I posted here before that he has never worked except as a drug dealer and was questioned. Many years ago, from Thailand, he took their entire term deposits although my mother agreed to it. They have even posted bail for him. 6 years ago he returned and made himself their Government paid carer, although at that time they did not need one. They have for at least the last 6 to
8 months and he has also
rung me and said he deserves their houses (worth well over a million dollars) and that I would be a prostitute if they had not adopted me. I
loved my parents greatly, particularly my father. At 4 years of age, my mother broke my arm. I can remember the pain. I was sworn to silence. After a couple of months, she took me to an Infant Welfare Clinic in Australia. Little was ever done. I am 1200 miles from them in Australia and have no husband or children. Once was married but marred by domestic violence. I once had a good job and have two University degrees which they told their whole family about as supposedly I was the first one in the entire extended family to acquire this. Everyone but myself knew I was adopted. As I have Cancer which I hope is improving, I have a Colostomy Bag. This has disgusted them. I used to ring them twice daily and visit twice a year. No longer allowed to visit and phone calls unwelcome. I believe the brother has somehow brainwashed them as they as in their early nineties. Narcissism is also involved. I am shattered that they will treat me like this. I was sent to a poor high school and my mother would not allow me to wash often. I was a little blonde girl whereas the child I was supposed to replace was very dark. My mother resented my appearance and did her best to ruin it by dressing me in old clothes and not allowing washing. The brother was sent to a Private School and later expelled. I am hurt that they told me so late and also about the disinheriting and disowning. I could not find my previous post so made another. Any advice greatly appreciated. Thank you.
Your story absolutely breaks my heart into a million pieces.
We adopted our oldest daughter and I can’t imagine feeling like your parents do.
Years later we had a biological child. We love them both with all of our hearts.
Love is love. It makes no difference whether a child is adopted or biological.
I don’t even know how to respond to your posting because it is unfathomable to me for your parents to behave in this manner.
Again, I am so sorry that you are experiencing this situation.
They missed out on a wonderful daughter. In my opinion they don’t deserve to be called your parents.
You say that they appreciate ‘the boys’ more. I hate favoritism. It’s despicable for parents to favor one child over another.
Legally, I am not even sure how matters such as this are handled. Maybe others will know.
Please know that you are worthy. You deserve to be treated with love and respect.
Best wishes to you.
Sorry with what you are going thru but we are mostly from the US. It has been mentioned here, during a discussion concerning wills, that some of our States don't allow a child to be disinherited. Maybe Australia has a similar law. You can always contest a Will, when ur parents pass, making it hard for brother to Probate it. You can then bring up that their talk of disinheriting came up after he came back into the picture. At a time when ur parents were declining mentally you feel he influenced them. But if they are of sound mind, IMO, they can leave their money to whomever they want or don't want.
I have seen families get around what someone put in their Will and I don't like it. You go to the expense to write a Will it should be distributed the way the person writing the Will wants it distributed.
In one instance the man left money to each of his 3 kids and the Church but they weren't to recieve it for 20 yrs. There was some loophole where if all 4 beneficiaries agreed they wanted the money now, the Will could be broken in respect to the 20 yrs. What, how can 4 beneficiaries change the writing of the Will?
We did this because we feel like it is ours to do with as we choose. If someone doesn't like it they are free to receive nada, their choice.
I have to say, I'm with ML4444 in asking, what is it you want from these people? They've done so much to harm you, and they're not 'parents' in the true sense of the word, so why interact with them in ANY way, shape or form? I think you would be best off disowning THEM and trying to move on with YOUR life, and taking care of YOUR health now, to the best of your ability. Obviously, your 'parents' should never have adopted you, but they did, for whatever misguided reasons they had at the time.
I was adopted in 1957 myself and while I don't have a terrible story to share as you do, mine isn't a fairy tale either. Long ago, I gave up on the idea that I could be friends with my adopted mother, so I accept that fact. It is what it is, and she was the best mother SHE could be, I guess, given her dysfunctional upbringing and pure ignorance of child rearing. She's 94 now & mean as a snake, so I try to limit my contact with her so as not to ruin MY life over HER chronic issues. I do what I can for her, making sure to take care of MYSELF in the process.
Try to let all of the angst go now, and move on with YOUR life, if possible. Wishing you the very best possible outcome here, whatever that may be. God bless you & keep you, my friend.