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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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Routine and consistency are very important aspects of care for those with dementia. It will cause her confusion to bring her home even for a short visit. Doing so could undo any adjustment she has made in memory care. What if she refused to leave when time to return to memory care? Anything could happen.
It's good to know you're aware that bringing her home may cause confusion or worse ( an emotional episode or a resistance to enter the house or return to the facility). A LO with dementia can react to a change in environment in ways we don't expect and maybe can't handle. Why would you want to bring her home? Is it COVID? Is it the loneliness? The virus wasn't an issue back in 2016 when I had to place my wife in MC, but my separation from her was. I know it's very difficult for you and very lonely but there was a reason you placed your wife in this facility. It saddens me to say you can't return to "normal" anymore even for just a little while. I would suggest you not bring her home.
No, this will add to confusion and disrupt adapting to a new life. A ride to see the countryside would not be out of place if you are able to provide that.
It may make YOU feel better to bring her home, but IME, people with dementia need structure to function best.
I agree with Alva--if you desire private time, a nice drive is a good choice. I wish I could get my mom to go with me somewhere, but she thinks COVID is flying around in the air like the wind, so she has been in lockdown for almost 10 months.
As others have said, one of the most important things for dementia patients is consistency, because is helps them feel safe. Once they're out of familiar surroundings, they can get very agitated and afraid, and unfortunately, your home is no longer the safe space. She needs to see the memory care facility as "home" now.
I moved my mother closer to me so I could bring her over to my house during the day at times and she could be around me in my home. That was more than a year and a half ago, and it never happened even once. I quickly realized it wouldn't be good for her, and I was doing it more for my comfort at that point.
I've never taken my mom to her own house, but I have brought her to mine for dinner or a visit. She likes it , gets tired within a couple hours, and lets me know when she wants to go "home", which is usually the assisted living where she now resides that she wishes to return to. Sometimes she asks if she lives there in my house and I tell her no. Once back she is always grateful to be "home". Mostly, for outings I would take her on rides to the mountains, which we haven't been able to do for almost a year. I think she will still like to go when restrictions are lifted. The rides don't ever confuse her. I guess it depends on your wife's confusion level and whether or not she wants to get out for something like a ride, but I would say she should not go back to her former home.
It is not usually a good idea to bring someone back home even for a short while who has dementia. It can cause confusion and additional anxiety. Taking them out of their living environment such as to a restaurant, shopping center, or friend, or a walk when it is safe to do so is good. Have her wear a mask and use hand sanitizers and wash hands frequently to get her out and about. Just do not take her back to the homd she can't go back to and stay.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
No do not bring her home even for a short visit.
I agree with Alva--if you desire private time, a nice drive is a good choice. I wish I could get my mom to go with me somewhere, but she thinks COVID is flying around in the air like the wind, so she has been in lockdown for almost 10 months.
As others have said, one of the most important things for dementia patients is consistency, because is helps them feel safe. Once they're out of familiar surroundings, they can get very agitated and afraid, and unfortunately, your home is no longer the safe space. She needs to see the memory care facility as "home" now.
I moved my mother closer to me so I could bring her over to my house during the day at times and she could be around me in my home. That was more than a year and a half ago, and it never happened even once. I quickly realized it wouldn't be good for her, and I was doing it more for my comfort at that point.