My mother is chronically depressed, has generalized anxiety, migraines 5 days a week, is supposed to be on an oxygen machine but instead chain smokes, drinks heavily, falls on the ice outside and has to wait until someone comes by to help her up, barely eats, cannot ale care of her dog etc. do I have any power to get her into a hospital when she refuses????
She's going to fall and wind up in the hospital (chances are)...and then she'll probably want you there...IDK how your relationship is with her.
If/when she winds up in the ED you can report her as an unsafe discharge and hopefully get someone to check on her living conditions, etc. She may 'lose' the right to choose for herself.
In the meantime, let her know you're there for her, but sounds like she just does what she wants.
Curious-how old is she?
Recommending a book, a memoir by Liz Scheier called Never Simple, about her lifelong journey attempting to get care for her mother who had mental issues and substance abuse. Ms Scheier and the entire social services community of the city and state of New York wasted their efforts until her Mom finally died. The book is a wakeup call on what can and cannot be done. Consider Al-Anon where you will get great guidance, ideas, support and information.
I agree you need to go to Al-Anon for yourself to find reality and boundaries. Yes, alcohol is a symptom but it is the main thing in preventing her from dealing with her deeper issues. If she's also mentally ill, she won't be able to take any meds safely and effectively until she's off the booze. So, it is the first thing that needs to be dealt with.
You seem to keep wanting your Mom to be someone she is not, and probably never was. Please know that you aren't responsible for her happiness. You can't have her recovery for her. These are hard truths, so I wish you much clarity and wisdom, and peace in your heart whatever the outcome.
You are waiting for a fall, as mentioned above.
She has not yet hit her rock bottom. Not ready to make any changes.
Indeed you are awaiting the next crises.
There is much here you cannot control. Work on what is within your control.
Be ready for that next crises. Be ready to inform her care team of her recent choices. It's up to Mother to change her mind.
A hospital is probably not going to offer or order home assistance for her.
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