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She is to be cremated. I have already prepaid for a nitch for her on the advise of others . I realize that this prepayment avoids paying higher rates later on but I have difficulty coming to terms with making funeral and cremation arrangements as she could live for many years with good care. Does anyone have any experience with this?

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My mom's insurance person talked her into one of those "burial" plans. It was low cost, $40./mo., so she agreed. The problem was she paid for years and accrued very little value in the policy. I had her cash it out...she made a little more than her investment.
You also have to consider if the business will honor it's commitment or what if it changes hands? I am too fond of prepayment plans in general because there are too many variables.
However, if the business has been around a long time and has a good reputation, you may want to consider it. I suppose prices will only go up.
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yes, I had pre-arrangements for my mother and have done the same for my father and my husband & myself. It is too emotional and exhausting to wait to figure it out at the time death arrives. I strongly say, prepare it in advance --you'll be amazed at how much additional items you will need to think about when the time comes. And if your funeral director is good, they help with everything when the time arrives and you can concentrate on your family and your grief. Linda in FLA.
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I've been considering pre-arrangement for a while, I think it would be good to get it out of the way now, so much less to deal with when the time comes. Mom already owns a family plot so I would just have to arrange the cremation and small ceremony. I think I'll call the funeral home and get more info.
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I believe it would be best if you go ahead and make plans for the inevitable. It truly is and knowing her wishes ahead of time as well as making the arrangements when you are not in a state of pain and immediate grieving is almost always best. It may be an upsetting issue fraught with fear and worry and hope and sadness about issues of family and love and mortality but think how much harder it will be when it comes time when it is moments after her death and you are dealing with relatives and the state and nursing home and any number of things that come up when a loved one passes. It is best to do as much as you can before it happens and not leave it till literally...after the last minute when your are thrown into grieving and emotionally fragile....
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Thanks to all of you for answering the question most children of elderly parents hate to face,me being the first to admit I think its cruel...but all these comments have changed my thinking.
Thank you again! Blessings
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My brother-in-law took care of all of that prior to my MIL's death. It was so nice not to have to worry about all the details when she finally passed away in the nursing home. We could all just be together to support each other without worrying about burial details. I think it is a great idea, but do your research.
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NEVER pay a funeral home their outrageous prices for a casket. by law any funeral home must honor your chouce in buying a casket elsewhere. I don't agree with pre-paying for a funeral. The only thing that should be paid for in advance is a burial plot. If you have the funeral at the elder's church, there are no costs. The only thing you pay the funeral director is for preparation of the body and then transportation of the body to the church and then to the cemetery. These maggots prey on the emotionally hurting and will drain your bank account if you allow them to. What really urks me is they do it with such "compassion" in their voices.
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My dad purchased a pre-paid funeral arrangement and it was the best thing he could have done for himself and the family. Although the funeral home had changed owners the contract was still honored. There were a couple of things that had to be upgraded to current costs but they were minor and we were able to concentrate on the service itself as everything else was covered. We will be purchasing the same for my mom. I only wish they would have done it at the same time. From my experience with my dad, I highly recommend it.
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I am all for pre-planning and pre-paying! Yes, it does require thinking ahead when your mom will hopefully live for many more years but think of it like you would retirement planning or planning for future college attendance. When her death comes, do you really want to-in the throes of deep grief- have to go around trying to choose companies and make arrangements? Once you have prepaid and preplanned, it is done. When she dies- and I hope you have many more years with her- you will be able to grieve and not have all of this business and decision making to do.

When my dad died, it was a nightmare. I was much younger and had been caring for him (congestive heart failure and cancer) and he just suddenly dropped dead at 1:37 on a monday morning when he was to go see the doctor that day. My mother fell to pieces and I had to choose a funeral home out of the phone book in the middle of the night that turned out to have a creepy owner who made fun of the dead people including my dad. We did not own a funeral plot. I had to go with no sleep after finding Daddy dead and look at caskets, vaults, liners, etc and go order flowers and arrange for music as well as get a funeral plot bought and paid for and arrange grave diggers, etc. I also had to notify people, care for my devastated mother, etc. It was a nightmare! I don't wish that on anyone. Also, this funeral director wanted $7,000 upfront. I had to battle him and then battle the insurance company who did not want to guarantee the money since it turned out the insurance agent had sold the policy but never turned it in to the company and was collecting the premiums in person each month and so there was NO life insurance coverage. I had to take them to court and it was 3 years and a trip to federal court in the end for insurance fraud before I could get the money back. If I could have known about pre-planning and pre-paying then, I would have done it in a heartbeat when I was not in grief and when I could take my time and make careful and thoughtful choices.
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In order to spend down for Medicaid, I did a Pre arrangement and followed my Parents wishes to be cremated. My Dad passed in Fed and the Pre arrangement worked as promised! The emotions at the time could have put me over the edge had I not prepared us before the time of need. It was one of the best decisions I could make to secure my Parents final wishes and to help me as I am now the only child. As terrim posted...I had to do EVERYTHING, claim my Dads body, tell my Dementia affected Mom, notify family and friends, prepare Memorial service etc. Save yourself as much as you can NOW. Just be certain that you purchase a non-refundable, no cash value arrangement. Now for my Mom, I've even gone as far as to pre purchase a matching Urn. I never thought I would be able to talk about this so freely but it has put me and my Parents in a better place. If something were to happen to me before them...at the very least their final arrangements are taken care of. Best wishes to you.
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