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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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My husband was addicted to going to docs on the way home from his main docs would say had to make another appointment to see her and I would say you were just there and he would say I forgot to ask her something I had to just refuse to take him to a doc unless he seemed to be sick he just loved the attention.
My mom's just the opposite - I have to drag her to the doctor. But at home, she complains constantly that her back hurts (she's 89 and it's mild osteoporosis and arthritis), the inside of her left arm hurts (she had blood drawn at the doc's and that's the arm they used) and she coughs constantly (her lungs are clear). Every time she's at the doc's she denies all of the above and I'm the one who has to bring them up and get her checked out.....always with the same diagnosis. If I get some medications (cough syrup, etc.), she won't take them. At the last doctor appointment, the doc asked her why she keeps complaining of these things if they really don't exist or don't bother her. Mom's reply? "I just like the sympathy."
Funny. I'm the only one who gets the complaints. Whenever anyone visits or we go out, her arm doesn't bother her at all, her back is fine, and she never coughs. I swear, people think I'm crazy when I tell them what goes on here!
Have been to every kind of doctor imaginable. Then repeated same. HEALTHY! She calls and wants to go to the emergency room all the time. So frustrating as she says she is in pain yet doctors say she is fine. Will listen carefully to her. Thanks
Maybe she needs some phychological testing done. Have you tried any of those.
I'm not too familiar with them but there are a lot of people on this site that will help you. Don't give up, stay here, we're here to help you. What one cannot do, another can, and so on and so on.
Pamela.... well said. We do need to listen closely. Something is going on . Whether it is physical or pyschological, someone asking for help is in some type of trouble. Even it is as simple as just being lonely or as serious as early dementia. So often even experienced doctors don't recognize the symptoms of Alzheimer's or other dementias.
Luckyjoee: why not start by getting with your mother and make sure that all of her 'testing' and results are properly documented. Does she have a 'primary doctor that deals with primarily in geriatrics? Getting some baseline number/results (bloodwork, CAT, PET, MRI's etc) can help tell what her 'normal' is and if any further tests are done, can then be used to compare.
Are you her only family? Is she alone most of the day? Can she go to an adult center to feel more 'fulfilled in her daily life?" Has she recently lost her husband (your father I assume) to illness, death or divorce?
There are so many factors, but I am sure that if you talk with her doctor (and her) you may get to the root of the problem sooner. Sometimes just sitting and listening REALLY listening might solve some of her problems. I am not a doctor but it is truly amazing what you can learn if you really listen to someone. Validate their worries, ask for more specifics and see what she tells you.
I am not an expert, but like Pamela said... stay here...talk with us, there are many experts here that will answer your question. My experience has been purely on a personal basis helping my mother for the past 5 years in the middle and final stages of Alzheimer's .
I have the same problem with my father. As early dementia begins "disinhibition" can occur. Disinhibition is a medical term. My father has disinhabition. He passes gas (on purpose), belches (on purpose), refuses to bathe, refuses too changed soiled (#2) clothing and talks incessantly about bodily functions. I urge you to research disinhibition on the internet. It is a psycological problem associated with aging.
I fully understand the writer complaining about her complaining parent. Even if you feel a little bad you don't have to carry on and cry and scream to get attention. Caregivers begin to resent such behavior, as have I. Mom calls crying and says she can't drive herself to the doctor so I have to take off work spend the day taking her to doctor, shopping mall and out to lunch. Then, the next day she will drive herself to church and to visit friends as though nothing is wrong. I get that she wants and needs attention but it is like a child exhibiting negative behavior to get attention This behavior of pretending to be sick should not be rewarded.
With the husband I had to just stop taking him all the time-it took hours to get him ready and we had to wait so long for the doc-the day he said on the way home I have to make an appointment to see Dr R as we were going home from seeing her because he forgot to tell her something was the day I cut back on the doc visits-after well over 100 doc visits in 9 months that was it for me.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Funny. I'm the only one who gets the complaints. Whenever anyone visits or we go out, her arm doesn't bother her at all, her back is fine, and she never coughs. I swear, people think I'm crazy when I tell them what goes on here!
I'm not too familiar with them but there are a lot of people on this site that will help you. Don't give up, stay here, we're here to help you. What one cannot do, another can, and so on and so on.
In other words don't touch that dial dear.
Luckyjoee: why not start by getting with your mother and make sure that all of her 'testing' and results are properly documented. Does she have a 'primary doctor that deals with primarily in geriatrics? Getting some baseline number/results (bloodwork, CAT, PET, MRI's etc) can help tell what her 'normal' is and if any further tests are done, can then be used to compare.
Are you her only family? Is she alone most of the day? Can she go to an adult center to feel more 'fulfilled in her daily life?" Has she recently lost her husband (your father I assume) to illness, death or divorce?
There are so many factors, but I am sure that if you talk with her doctor (and her) you may get to the root of the problem sooner. Sometimes just sitting and listening REALLY listening might solve some of her problems. I am not a doctor but it is truly amazing what you can learn if you really listen to someone. Validate their worries, ask for more specifics and see what she tells you.
I am not an expert, but like Pamela said... stay here...talk with us, there are many experts here that will answer your question. My experience has been purely on a personal basis helping my mother for the past 5 years in the middle and final stages of Alzheimer's .
God bless.
If I were you I'd just listen a little more carefully, and watch a little more closer.
What will it hurt to take her to the Dr. for test?
My father has disinhabition. He passes gas (on purpose), belches (on purpose), refuses to bathe, refuses too changed soiled (#2) clothing and talks incessantly about bodily functions. I urge you to research disinhibition on the internet. It is a psycological problem associated with aging.
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