My mom is 90 and has dementia. She has begun refusing to eat. I have a caregiver (who I really like) who feeds her when she refuses. She will take the silverware and make her eat. My mom knows how to use the utensil, she just says she isn’t hungry and doesnt want food, even though she has eaten very little, sometimes only breakfast. Should we force her to eat? Does she have a right to not eat? I hate fighting with her about it. She gets upset and I feel stressed but I dont know what the right thing is. Has anyone else experienced this?
My mom lost her appetite and the desire to eat many years before her death and I struggled with the same moral dilemma. I decided I would never, ever force her to eat, but I figured that as long as she willingly opened her mouth to accept food she wasn't being forced, she was being assisted. Before she completely lost the ability my mom also often willingly picked up and ate snacks and finger foods if I set them within her reach.
Dementia is a terminal illness. If you have not had a hospice evaluation for your mom yet, now is probably a good time to have one scheduled. Ask her PCP to write an order.
Wishing you the best of luck with a difficult situation.
Never force someone to eat. Try to determine the cause, then offer alternatives like the shakes if doctor-prescribed.
Watch out, too, because those shakes have a TON of sugar in them. My mother developed gout about four months into her Ensure habit. We switched her to a low-sugar version.