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This has all happened in the last month. Everyday I see him getting worse. See the Dr every week and they aren't sure what is going on.
We live in a split level house and we are now at the point I have no idea on how to even get him to the DR.
This is all new to me also, I so want to help him and I don't know how.

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Wanted to give you all a update. My husband is in the hospital. The 2 antibiotics he was given before were not working. He is starting to feel better. Thank you all for being here
Bluelady
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lealonnie1 Sep 2022
I'm glad you took your hubs to the hospital and he's starting to feel better!! Keep us posted Bluelady, and hang in there! Sending you a hug.
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A few questions for you.
Is your husband a Veteran? The VA does have a Home Based Health program where the doctors will come to him when it gets to the point where you can not safely get him to the doctor.
If not then you can call for a Medical Transport and they will come and pick your husband up, get him to the doctor and when you are done they will transport him back home. (if they do not allow you to ride with them then you would follow in your car)
If the reason your husband is unsteady is a balance problem it might be that some PT and or OT would help. There are many reasons for helping to improve balance. One for the reason you mention but someone that is unsteady is a greater fall risk.
The PT and OT therapist might have some good suggestions as to how to improve the situation.
PT and OT could be done in the house but it would be a good idea for either to come to the house to assess safety aspects.
If you are not going into the bathroom with him to assist that might be your next step.
It might also be to the point where you might have to consider either 1 level living or placing him in AL. Getting a caregiver might also be an option so that someone is always with him to assist and or help steady him.
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#1: Your husband has a UTI (Urinary Tract Infection) going on, for ONE thing. He's taken an antibiotic which hasn't worked, so the infection is still present. UTIs can cause A LOT OF CHAOS in an elder, which is some of what you are likely witnessing here & now.

#2: The docs put him on another antibiotic to help clear up this UTI BUT, did they CULTURE his urine to find out what sort of bacteria is growing in it?? If not, they need to do that STAT otherwise this antibiotic may also be incorrect and not kill the bacteria present in his urine. If a UTI goes on long enough, the infection can get into the kidneys and even the bloodstream and wreak HAVOC on the body.

#3: Your husband has lost a lot of weight in a short period of time indicating a system problem of some kind that is going on. It could be the diabetes, the kidneys not working properly, the UTI wreaking havoc, or something else like cancer at play in addition to everything else.

#4: In my humble opinion, your husband needs to go to the ER for a full evaluation where they can do ALL the tests in ONE PLACE at ONE TIME and stop all this nonsense of waiting for doctor's to get back to you, and yada yada. In the meantime, his insulin dosage is wrong and THAT in and of itself is BIG issue that needs to be addressed but isn't. Diabetes can kill a person in a New York minute, not to scare you, but DH already has A TON of issues resulting FROM the diabetes: ulcers on his feet (my sister in law lost her foot due to that very thing), bad eyesight, kidney damage, a UTI, and sky high blood sugar which can constitute an EMERGENCY right there depending on how how high 'sky high' is.

You yourself say DH (Dear Husband) is a 'very sick man' and therefore, he needs to go to the ER by ambulance (especially since he's a big man & you can't figure out how to get him to the doctor yourself). Call 911 and tell them all his symptoms, sky high blood sugar, weakness, UTI not responding to antibiotics, rapid weight loss, and make up some other symptoms if necessary like 'light headed and feeling faint'. You want him transported by ambulance and you want it done TODAY. Him peeing all over the place is the least of your concerns right now but another indicator that his bodily systems are way out of whack. Give him a plastic urinal to pee into in the meantime, or they'll give him one in the ER.

I don't usually post recommendations like this, but in your DHs case, it feels like he's very ill to me. It never hurts for an elder to be taken to the ER by ambulance; I did that very thing for my mother on numerous occasions and would do it for my DH (who has more health issues than Newsweek) without a second thought if I felt it necessary. It feels necessary in your DHs case. He has a lot going on and his doctor is dragging his heels, and today is Sunday. Disease doesn't take a day off b/c it's Sunday.

BEST OF LUCK TO YOU. Please keep us posted because we care.
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How old is your husband?

Did he have any existing health issues prior to this new symptom? Your profile says:

"age-related decline, depression, diabetes, hearing loss, incontinence, urinary tract infection, and vision problems"

Has he recently been treated for a UTI? If so, it may not have cleared up...

Is his diabetes under control?

What other tests and treatments have been tried to this point that the doctors still don't know what's happening to him? Has be been tested for a UTI? Has he had a TIA (mini stroke)? Parkinsons?

You wrote that you "see the Dr every week" but then wrote that you "have no idea how to even get him to the Dr"... ?

We need more info in order to give you the best suggestions... otherwise we're just guessing.
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Bluelady100 Sep 2022
My husband is 81, he is 12 years older than me. He has diabetes that also has effected his eye sight. His sight is not good at all.

This all started about a month ago. He had a test where they were checking to see the blood flow in his legs because of ulcers in his feet. They used dye for this test which caused some damage to his kidneys. Dr tells me is could get better but doesn't know. After having this test he began to go down hill, his blood sugars dropped and had to call ambulance twice because he was unresponsive. Dr changed his insulate and now blood sugar is sky high. Dr doesn't want to change insulate until he is feeling better.
He now can hardly eat , hardly walk, does nothing for himself at all. He is a very sick man. In a weak since we saw Dr he continues to down fall. That's what I meant by I don't how to get him to Dr. Everyday he just gets worse.
He is being treated for bacteria in his urine. First antibiotic didn't work so he was given another. He has been on it since Thurs . I would have thought he would be feeling better by now but he is not.
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Keep working with the doctor(s) to follow up on these new symptoms. The suggestion for OT and PT is also a good one, so pursue a referral.

Would a hand held urinal help for now? He could use it in the bathroom either sitting or standing and then dump it into the toilet.
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I understand not being able to stand to go but not the sitting down. Does he not push "it" down when he sits? My Dad had a problem where his stream went sideways.

I live in a split level and one reason I placed my Mom was the stairs. I have 3 flights. I think you are going to have to make a decision to sell your home and get an apartment that is handicapped friendly. Or, place your husband.

Because Mom lived with us, with a suggestion from my RN daughter, we gave Mom the family room on ground level. It had a door to the outside, only 4 steps up. We parked our cars at that end of the driveway. So easy access for Mom. She had her own bathrokm. The room was big enough for her bed and dresser and recliner and TV. The bathroom had been a powder room so a shower was put in with bars, handheld shower head and she used a shower bench. Steps up to the next level were 6. With help of DH we could get her to the level the living room and kitchen were on. But, I had to start putting a gate at the doorway coming up because she would sneak up on her own. Didn't want her roaming at night. But, if you have a room similar, may be easier for both of you.
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Bluelady100 Sep 2022
I am trying to wrap my head around all of what is happening, it is all so new to me. We only have 1 bathroom in our house , I have him sleeping on that floor but 8 steps to get outside. He is not a small man weighs 240, he has lost over 30 lbs this last month.

To be honest with you and I am ashamed to say this but I worked my whole life for this house and the thought of giving it up breaks my heart. Right now I can't come to terms with placing him somewhere. Next week we will have our 50th anniversary. I have been with this man since I was 15 years old. I don't know life without him. Everyday I don't think my heart could break anymore than it is, but it does.
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My husband when he became very unstable on his feet and had essential tremors in his one good hand/arm, also had trouble getting his pee in the toilet. I had to make him start sitting(which he initially didn't like, but got used to)and of course he pushed his penis down so that his pee would go into the toilet. You might need to follow him into the bathroom to make sure that his penis is pushed down enough so you don't have such a mess.
Is your husband forgetting what he needs to do with his penis while sitting on the toilet?
After my husband's incontinence became so bad that we were up every hour on the hour, and no medications or Botox worked, his urologist recommended that he have a supra pubic(permanent)catheter put in, which we agreed on, and life in that aspect became much easier for us, as I was then only having to empty his catheter bag twice a day. You may want to talk to his urologist about that option.
You may have to start using a transport chair if you need to get him to the doctor, as that too made my life easier when my husband was alive.
You can also just make his doctor appointments on either Zoom or the telephone as all doctors now have that option.
You may be at the point where you need to hire some outside help to come assist you as things will only continue to get harder, and it's important that you not only do what's best for your husband but for yourself as well. And know that that may mean having to place him in the appropriate facility.
God bless you.
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Thank you for your response. This is all new to me and can on very sudden. I appreciate your thoughts. Good info to think about.
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I know this is a difficult time and you're having trouble with the reality of it all, but you should be researching care facilities now. You can take the first steps online in order to see what's available near you. Since this is escalating so fast, you may need to move quickly, and it would be good to have the information in hand. So sorry for all the problems.
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Blood Sugar issue should be discussed with Endocrinologist. Urologist is a good place to start with urine and urinary tract issues.
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