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It sounds daunting but I can tell you that in the past, the airports were wonderful about transporting handicapped people to and from terminals. As long as he would stay seated that long he could make it. Is he generally appropriate now when you take him out? Does he wear depends? Handicapped people once traveled all the time. Some will be confused with the airport environment, some will be entertained. I suppose you could make a trial run of taking him to the airport and see how he responds. Do you have someone at home that could see you off? Get the two of you checked in at the airport and pick you up when you return? That would make it easier but even with Uber etc you could arrange an overabundance of help to make things smoother. ‘Staying in a hotel is not much different from being at home if he is willing to stay in the room when you are in the shower etc. Having a transport wheelchair can get you through the lobbies quicker. Would you have help once you arrived? Son or daughter to help you get him from airport to hotel to room? It would depend on the type of issues he has. Hard for us to know with the information you gave. I can take my DH aunt to a hotel and she does fine, She’s 94 with dementia. We had no choice but to travel with her and it was exhausting but went without event. We had our meals in the room. She has mobility issues so I didn’t have to worry about her leaving the room. I hope you get to go. It would probably do everyone involved a lot of good to reconnect if it’s deemed safe to travel in your areas and appropriate precautions are taken regarding COVID safety measures. Let us know how you manage it. We learn from one another.
I was given a gate pass by the check-in counter staff who could see the need to keep an eye on my parents. Yes, don't overlook room service or getting take out from the hotel restaurant and taking it back to the room, and letting the check in staff know so they can tell others that there is someone with dementia, so they will keep an eye out if he is unaccompanied
If you will be traveling with him, yes. The change in routine and surroundings may worsen his confusion during the visit, but you never know. Make sure to request wheelchair service from door to gate as this makes going through TSA security much easier and he'll be able to keep his shoes on. You will need to explain to the TSA attendants that he has dementia so they don't keep barking orders at him like they did to my 92-yr old mom recently. You'll be able to get him seated first before others board. If the airlines still have a face mask mandate you must contact the airline in advance to get an exception for him in the event he doesn't remember to keep it on during the flight (Delta has this and you must do this before the day he flies).
The airport and trip itself is not a problem as personnel at the airline counter and TSA will help you navigate TSA and transport to/from gates. The tricky part will be the confusion once at the hotel. Environment changes will bring you the most challenge. I do not know how advanced is your husband’s cognitive state but it will be a challenge both while at the hotel and again once you return home.
I see a problem. Dementia or not he is going to need to go thru security. If he is incontinent its going to be hard to do a change in the Airplane toilet. Will he stay in his seat. Wear a mask. I have seen videos where in one the a 2yr old child was snacking. The employee asked that the child put a mask on. Mother said she was told when she bought her tickets that a 2 yr old was not required to wear a mask. The employee again said he needed a mask. The mother than said he was snacking and she would put it on when he finished. She was asked to get off the plane because she questioned the employee. I have seen a few of these. What goes on and what is said in the terminal and happens on the plane are 2 different things it seems.
Make sure you make your travel agent aware that you will need a wheelchair. Should be done at time tickets are ordered.
I'm only being half-facetious when I ask "what's a travel agent?" Just about the last time I dealt with one was some 30 years ago when I was going on trip to Minneapolis, and was told the flight would be about an hour. I mentioned that city is in another time zone, so it would actually be about TWO hours. The agent said "oh, that's right--I need to learn more about that!" The internet has made most of them superfluous (in this age of electronic tickets, especially for experienced travelers), and has enabled one to avoid taking a chance on some, such as the one I described, who are potentially detrimental.
IF you decide to make this trip PLEASE let the airline know. They can provide transportation to the gates and to baggage.
Discuss this with his doctor you may need antianxiety medications. However the very medications that might allow a trip like this may also make his walking unsteady.
A hotel is a very iffy thing as well. New room, new sounds, exhausted from the trip, confused by the trip.
If there is a way to have the grandchildren visit you rather than you going to them that would be a far better way to do this. OR Schedule a Respite Stay for your husband and you make the trip yourself. That would actually give you a break, him a break and you can enjoy yourself without having to worry about all the little things that can go wrong. One of them might very well be him demanding to go home even before the first day is over.
As long as he is able to follow prompts and you won't have to leave him unaccompanied, I don't see a problem. You may get very tired of having to explain what's happening repeatedly, but the calmer you are the easier he will find it. He's not a wanderer, is he?
PS - you can get Medicalert-type cards and lapel badges for dementia. As long as your husband doesn't object to wearing one it might be a good idea; lots of public-facing services and organisations give their staff training in dementia awareness nowadays, and I'm sure that would include the airlines. And, yes, make sure your airline is aware before you fly.
As long as you can keep him on a fairly consistent routine and he will follow your directions, he will be able to handle it. Expect that he might be more confused or anxious in the evenings. It might be a good idea to talk to his doctor about having a mild anti-anxiety medication available if needed. You will also need to have him with you at all times - use the family bathroom.
Dear Sammy222, I was professionally a Travel Agent for 38 yrs before I was retired. I should also point out that I was diagnosed with Early onset ALZ 5 yrs ago. I did plan a lot of trips that involved passengers that had Dementia. It is a good idea to let the airline know in advance. I recommend also that you request wheelchair service to get through the Terminal to the Gate Area. They will permit you to have early boarding, I'd suggest you pay for pre-assigned seats at the same time you buy the tickets, that way you know you won't be separated as the plane has filled up. Yes you will have to spend a little more money, but these types of services will really smooth the way and make your trip be more comfortable for you, your DH, and the other passengers on the plane. I hope you find my comments helpful. Happy Landings.
In my experience, the hardest thing about travel is nighttime in the hotel. I put a chair in front of the door with a suitcase on top of the chair and a good sized bell on top of the suitcase. When my husband tries to get out, the bell falls off and wakes me up. Good luck with your travel!
1. Make sure you do not fly Spirit Airlines. 2. Whichever airline you use, give them a heads up. They will be able to put something in the record so the crew can be aware that you are a caregiver for your husband who has some difficulties and might be able to let you off first, possibly have a wheel chair assist available...whatever might help.
Just a comment on connecting flights...when you contact the airlines, ask for assistance to ensure that you can make the flight on time. I had to fly to Texas at one point to bring both parents back from the Snowbird RV. We transferred at the Dallas/Fort Worth terminal.
Both parents were in wheelchairs; I took Mom to the restroom, but Dad had to wheel himself in on his own. The women's restroom was packed; I was worried that we would miss our flight. And we almost did. (The landing site in the airport was a long way from the transfer and second leg of the flight).
When we were through, the final boarding call was issued. I parked the wheelchairs and ran down to the attendants and asked for help; I couldn't manage 2 wheelchairs on my own. Not only was help provided, but it was done very graciously, with even one of the cabin crew coming out to help.
I shudder to think of the chaos of being stranded at DFW airport and having to find lodging or waiting until we could get a connecting flight.
The airlines actually drove my father to his flight in a little golf cart with me walking beside with the wheelchair. I was grateful. They also expedited security clearance so we wouldn't have to stand in line for a long time.
Agreed. It's doable with accompaniment and preplanning. He will probably love seeing the grandchildren. My father found children fascinating as there weren't too many of them in memory care. Their visits were the highlight of his days.
I strongly recommend a series of notes to answer the endless questions that will come your way.... helps you cope with the flight. The other thing that might be helpful is headphones with their favourite music.
This is too weird! Last night I dreamt that my mother (95) missed her flight. She was in the airport alone. I was furious with myself for leaving her alone and couldn't understand what I had been thinking..
Does that answer your question?
To say it differently, no way. And do not rely on the airline to help. They don't.
This is just my opinion, this will only make his confusion worse and could cause other things to go wrong that you may not be prepared to handle. Why not stay home and send money to the family to travel to come see both of you. That way he can stay in the home where he is familiar and don't take the chance of any outbursts of crying, frustration, anger, etc. I am sure the kids would love to see both of you......so send them the money to come visit you. wish you luck.
As a person who has dementia, I can tell you changing routines or going places I am not familiar with can cause setbacks. There's confusion, fear, panic and often anger. Tread carefully.
You'll have to be very vigilant, especially if he has a tendency to wander. Even simple things like him going to the rest room at the airport may become difficult. You should be the one to carry the tickets and all important papers.
I strongly recommend asking if a wheelchair is available for his use. Here's why - after many problems travelling with my husband, I had an epiphany that a wheelchair might be part of the answer, as we were travelling abroad and alone. He felt very special, as he received special care. When I asked for one, I explained that with dementia, while he LOOKED ok, he would often get upset, or distracted, and sometimes got lost an an airport. Particular problems were when he wanted to go to the bathroom, and invariably got lost. 1. He was much easier to maneuver throughout the trip, especially when he got tired or cranky, as he was treated 'special'. 2. He was helped on and off the plane, and smiled at by all. 3. He was able to use a handicapped bathroom, with help (me). This was especially helpful, because no one wants to admit to using diapers. Easier, cleaner, less obvious. 4. Much faster travel around the airport, and immensely less worry for me, about the potential for 'losing' him in the melee.
All in all, a very worrisome trip turned into a very good trip.
we traveled with mom on southwest; when ticketing i noted the need for a wheelchair and it was provided with an attendant at each stop (connections), including asking if she need a restroom stop...cannot say enough about their graciousness, helpfulness, efficiency ( of course we did have to try to contain her comments in flight about being up in the clouds with Jesus...)
Humor goes a long way in travel situations. tell him he gets a wheelchair (in my moms case we called it a Mercedes) and that he’s a very important person and that’s why he gets a chair. I would tell my mom how lucky she was to be able to sit and get pushed all over the crowded airport, once on the plane, distract but keep a constant conversation until up in the air. Prayers your trip goes well.
This is doable but will be exhausting for you. My husband was diagnosed 8 yrs ago with Early Onset ALZ at 58. He still gets around good and can do many things, except his language is about gone and he can barely understand anything I ask of him which then creates trouble. He loves to go places so I drive him around everyday for an hour and we take small trips. He is not good at airports because he gets angry at people when he does not understand instructions. We do better going 2-4 hours from home and staying in vacation rentals in lieu of hotels. Right now there is no way he would keep a mask on for hours on a plane...which neither will I. He likes seeing family but only for short periods. The other scary thing is when it is just the 2 of us on a trip I cannot really leave him and go to the restroom or anywhere. He went into the Women's restroom the other day. We no longer eat out when on a trip.
sammy222: Imho, perchance you do not realize that this is going to be an exhausting event for YOU, should you choose to take your husband. Careful consideration is advised.
Mlike unaccompanied minors for a small fee the airline your flying may have an accommodating service. Or can you afford to pay for a 3rd ticket to a family member to join you? Good Luck...
My questions would be: What happens if he becomes agitated and upset? Can you calm him down on a plane? Would he be a danger to the flight? Might you end up stranded mid-trip unable to get him back on a plane?
Once in a new environment, would he be calm and comfortable? Might he be at risk of wandering? Could he navigate the new environment safely with regards to stairs, rugs, children/pets?
As others have said, traveling with an older person can be a lot of work. Are you up to the task of constantantly monitoring and supporting him? It would not be a vacation for you.
Personally, if I had these questions, I would not travel.
I have dementia.i would ask his doctor first Since he had dementia. With the dementia. It's normal. For him to get confused. I myself get confused. It will get a lot, worse. And also .with the condition.he will get tired a lot. I have vascular dementia now it is. Border line progressive stage.also, to him and yourself, aware share card. And a bracelet Id. You can get that from . society america of dementia.website. I know, I have a aware share card. And a bracelet Id.ad will. I have vascular dementia for going 6 years now. It is going into advance
The best way to clam him down, his to read .or have him to listen to music. Whatever he likes. But don't make a joke about it. Dementia is a serious . And as dementia patent.we don't understand. It really doesn't help us.out . Yes he will get nasty.because, he doesn't know what is happening to him .I know for myself . I too get that way. It's not you. It's the dementia. There is a quote. From the dementia Website, it says I have dementia. I hear , I see, I maybe slow walking. And maybe losing my memory, I have dementia. And I'm only 57 years old. And walk a quid cane. And it runs on my dad side of the family.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
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Is he generally appropriate now when you take him out? Does he wear depends? Handicapped people once traveled all the time. Some will be confused with the airport environment, some will be entertained. I suppose you could make a trial run of taking him to the airport and see how he responds. Do you have someone at home that could see you off? Get the two of you checked in at the airport and pick you up when you return? That would make it easier but even with Uber etc you could arrange an overabundance of help to make things smoother.
‘Staying in a hotel is not much different from being at home if he is willing to stay in the room when you are in the shower etc.
Having a transport wheelchair can get you through the lobbies quicker. Would you have help once you arrived? Son or daughter to help you get him from airport to hotel to room?
It would depend on the type of issues he has. Hard for us to know with the information you gave.
I can take my DH aunt to a hotel and she does fine, She’s 94 with dementia. We had no choice but to travel with her and it was exhausting but went without event. We had our meals in the room. She has mobility issues so I didn’t have to worry about her leaving the room.
I hope you get to go.
It would probably do everyone involved a lot of good to reconnect if it’s deemed safe to travel in your areas and appropriate precautions are taken regarding COVID safety measures.
Let us know how you manage it. We learn from one another.
I would recommend you speak with his DRs
Best wishes and safe travels
Make sure you make your travel agent aware that you will need a wheelchair. Should be done at time tickets are ordered.
They can provide transportation to the gates and to baggage.
Discuss this with his doctor you may need antianxiety medications.
However the very medications that might allow a trip like this may also make his walking unsteady.
A hotel is a very iffy thing as well.
New room, new sounds, exhausted from the trip, confused by the trip.
If there is a way to have the grandchildren visit you rather than you going to them that would be a far better way to do this.
OR
Schedule a Respite Stay for your husband and you make the trip yourself.
That would actually give you a break, him a break and you can enjoy yourself without having to worry about all the little things that can go wrong.
One of them might very well be him demanding to go home even before the first day is over.
PS - you can get Medicalert-type cards and lapel badges for dementia. As long as your husband doesn't object to wearing one it might be a good idea; lots of public-facing services and organisations give their staff training in dementia awareness nowadays, and I'm sure that would include the airlines. And, yes, make sure your airline is aware before you fly.
PDs would be wise to provide training like this. It is so common now one would think somebody in the department would suggest it!
There are still too many people out there who just don't understand dementia.
Have a good visit.
I was professionally a Travel Agent for 38 yrs before I was retired. I should also point out that I was diagnosed with Early onset ALZ 5 yrs ago. I did plan a lot of trips that involved passengers that had Dementia. It is a good idea to let the airline know in advance. I recommend also that you request wheelchair service to get through the Terminal to the Gate Area. They will permit you to have early boarding, I'd suggest you pay for pre-assigned seats at the same time you buy the tickets, that way you know you won't be separated as the plane has filled up.
Yes you will have to spend a little more money, but these types of services will really smooth the way and make your trip be more comfortable for you, your DH, and the other passengers on the plane. I hope you find my comments helpful.
Happy Landings.
Thanks for your pointers!
2. Whichever airline you use, give them a heads up. They will be able to put something in the record so the crew can be aware that you are a caregiver for your husband who has some difficulties and might be able to let you off first, possibly have a wheel chair assist available...whatever might help.
Both parents were in wheelchairs; I took Mom to the restroom, but Dad had to wheel himself in on his own. The women's restroom was packed; I was worried that we would miss our flight. And we almost did. (The landing site in the airport was a long way from the transfer and second leg of the flight).
When we were through, the final boarding call was issued. I parked the wheelchairs and ran down to the attendants and asked for help; I couldn't manage 2 wheelchairs on my own. Not only was help provided, but it was done very graciously, with even one of the cabin crew coming out to help.
I shudder to think of the chaos of being stranded at DFW airport and having to find lodging or waiting until we could get a connecting flight.
Does that answer your question?
To say it differently, no way. And do not rely on the airline to help. They don't.
1. He was much easier to maneuver throughout the trip, especially when he got tired or cranky, as he was treated 'special'.
2. He was helped on and off the plane, and smiled at by all.
3. He was able to use a handicapped bathroom, with help (me). This was especially helpful, because no one wants to admit to using diapers. Easier, cleaner, less obvious.
4. Much faster travel around the airport, and immensely less worry for me, about the potential for 'losing' him in the melee.
All in all, a very worrisome trip turned into a very good trip.
tell him he gets a wheelchair (in my moms case we called it a Mercedes) and that he’s a very important person and that’s why he gets a chair. I would tell my mom how lucky she was to be able to sit and get pushed all over the crowded airport, once on the plane, distract but keep a constant conversation until up in the air. Prayers your trip goes well.
Or can you afford to pay for a 3rd ticket to a family member to join you?
Good Luck...
What happens if he becomes agitated and upset?
Can you calm him down on a plane?
Would he be a danger to the flight?
Might you end up stranded mid-trip unable to get him back on a plane?
Once in a new environment, would he be calm and comfortable?
Might he be at risk of wandering?
Could he navigate the new environment safely with regards to stairs, rugs, children/pets?
As others have said, traveling with an older person can be a lot of work. Are you up to the task of constantantly monitoring and supporting him? It would not be a vacation for you.
Personally, if I had these questions, I would not travel.
Since he had dementia. With the dementia. It's normal. For him to get confused. I myself get confused. It will get a lot, worse. And also .with the condition.he will get tired a lot. I have vascular dementia now it is. Border line progressive stage.also, to him and yourself, aware share card. And a bracelet Id. You can get that from . society america of dementia.website. I know, I have a aware share card. And a bracelet Id.ad will. I have vascular dementia for going 6 years now. It is going into advance