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I measure (right in front of him) 8 cups of water into a pitcher. I told him that once the water is gone from the pitcher, then he's had plenty of water for that day. Does not matter what glass you pour the water into as long as it's from that pitcher. His occupational therapist told him the same thing - he doesn't believe her. She tried to explain that you get your daily water from water as well as foods. He didn't believe her.


In his defense, when he was in rehab after his fall, he did experience severe dehydration and was sent to the emergency room for fluids (the doctor noticed he was unresponsive when he was doing rounds in the morning). Naturally, he is extremely fearful of it happening again. He's been living with us for over 2 months and is eating and drinking normally. He's very alert and his overall physical apperance has improved dramatically. His blood pressure is perfect. I scheduled his annual physical for next week with his primary. I'm hoping the doctor can reassure him he's ok.

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Be thankful. Most seniors are dehydrated due to incontinence or their thirst mechanism no longer works. They often suffer from miserable constipation worsened by a sedentary lifestyle. With a good appetite his electrolytes will be fine (hydration is not just fluid) with the water. Give him a hug and tell him he takes great care of himself.
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At 91, it's probably paranoia.....every waking moment is an achievement at that age. 8 cups of water? Doesn't sound unreasonable. Is there a senior center where he can get out and make some new friends? Getting busy might take his mind off his worries (whatever they may be).
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Have you thought about having him do a session with a good hypnotherapist?
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I have been told to drink 8 cups of water a day but I can't quite do that. I have heard this over and over again from the doctors that it is fine - it is healthy. If he is good in every way, except he constantly has to pee, I'd say he is fine but check with the doctors.
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Just in case your dad is suffering from dry mouth, which was a big issue for my mother, Xylimelts are peppermint lozenges that work wonders for such dryness! I got them in a 4 pack (I think) on Amazon and they do a great job.

In my case, I can't get my mother to drink ANY water at ALL! Feast or famine with these elders, isn't it? :)
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HoLLkh7161 Feb 2022
Thank you for your suggestion. It's not an actual "thirst" that would be associated with dry mouth. It's his fear that he's going to dehydrate no matter how much water he consumes. All his vitals are normal. I'm hoping that his physical tomorrow will bring him some peace of mind.
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Glad he has something to help him monitor his fluid intake. I am seeing way too many seniors admitted to my hospital for dehydration.
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I have noticed that not one time was the possibility of Sjogren's Syndrome been mentioned. I have it myself and I CANNOT quench my thirst. Everyone in the family knows I carry a large bottle of water with me everywhere. I drink water up to the time I go to bed, I sleep with a humidifier on the night stand. There are some foods I can no longer eat very well because they are so dry and my mouth does not produce the moisture needed to eat comfortably. This is a nightmare that most people cannot begin to understand.
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Clairesmum Feb 2022
Thanks for pointing this out!
He may have Sjogrens...or a medication that is causing extremely dry mouth...or the house. may be very hot and that could lead to fluid loss via skin and a sensation of thirst.
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HoLLkh7161: He may indeed be reliving the dehydration event at the Emergency Room. Monitor his fluid intake. Also, be advised that he should stop fluid intake earlier in the day to avoid frequent nighttime bathroom visits, which may then cause sleep disturbances/sleeplessness.
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Why are you making a blessing into a problem? Be grateful.
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God bless him. I would give him a tight hug and put a second pitcher next to him. He wants to live. Do not panic. The only thing which I saw with my parents is that you have to be careful with his electrolytes. Sometimes in the elderly they go down and if he does not have diabetes then he is all right, but make sure he drinks those bottles at the pharmacy that contain water and electrolytes. I was doing that with my parents because their electrolytes would go down. Keep him at home. Do not put him in a nursing home or hospice or you will lose him faster than the blink of an eye with those people there. Get help at home instead. Life insurance companies offer sometimes help 24/7 for what they call long term care. They charge of course an additional fee for that, but it is worth it. Most seniors do not want to end up in a nursing home. I know I would not. Keep taking care of him. God bless you both.
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I can’t quite understand why 8 cups of water a day is viewed as a problem. My fluid intake includes mugs of tea and coffee, and the water bottle in the car, as well as water with meals. I probably drink more than that most days. Colonoscopy prep certainly brings you way over that limit.

Yes, over-hydration can be a problem, particularly for gym junkies. My favorite story is the actress going up to the stage for ‘best actress’, still clutching her water bottle. This story doesn’t sound like much to worry about.
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Let him be. One of my greatest regrets with my mother is that I didn't monitor her liquid intake closely enough. Several times we were in the emergency room when she got dehydrated.
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Props to your Dad for his own self care, he must have been a proactive man back in the day :)
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Why not pour a second pitcher of water when the first one is empty? Everybody is different. As long as he doesn't drink too much water, it's probably ok for him to have water. You may want to mention that he should stop drinking in the evening so that he won't have to go to the bathroom often during the night.
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Good for your dad because I cannot get my mom to drink nearly enough. She probably is in a constant state of dehydration. This causes low heart rate, high BP & constipation!
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Your suppose to have 8 cups of water a day .
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HoLLkh7161 Feb 2022
I know.
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Actually, dehydration is up there at the top for problems that the elderly have. Let the dr. decide, and most likely, the Dr. will be happy with his drinking so much water. As he progresses with dementia, he may begin to forget, so it may be a blessing. You don't want him to do it out of fear and that is so commendable. But like a lot of replies here, he could be obsessed with sweets and salt and other things bad for the body.
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Getting fixated on one issue sometimes happens...it can be a way of focusing the general distress and anxiety about the losses of aging. Many elders refuse fluids for fear of being incontinent, or become obsessed about bowel function, or the activities of the next door neighbor. Unless the medical appt shows some sort of problem, maybe this is an issue to let go of....it sounds like he is doing very well right now, with your care.
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So when you say obsessed do you mean your father is stressed? I might look at it from another perspective and see that he is very focused rather than obsessed...

His health has improved as a result of his 8 cups a day. Let him be obsessed then and don't make an issue of it, it's doing him the world of good. Perhaps it is you who needs to step back and stop worrying and allow, and drink more water yourself?

The main thing I would stress is to make sure that he's drinking 'clean' water. Filtered to remove toxins and hormones and remineralised so he gets those in.

Otherwise, you could try see his story as a way to inspire others at his age to drink more water and share about his very obvious health improvement results. Your pops is a wonderful example of what a focused effort to improve our health can achieve. People need to know how important hydration is and how beneficial it is for us, at every age. Good luck with this. I see an opportunity here, what do you see?
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Found them! Hydratem8 is the brand name of the bottles with the messages, hope they help.
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HoLLkh7161 Feb 2022
Thank you!
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I was always taught you were SUPPOSED to drink at least 8 8oz glasses of water per day. Let him and let go of this.
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Hi all
if he experienced dehydration, UTI and fall, He will be doing everything he can do avoid it again. I think your dad is fab for making sure he is drinking enough and wonderful he’s doing so well.
(my dad has a catheter due to recurrent UTIs, enlarged prostate and CKD, we regularly bicker about getting him to drink more fluids.)
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I’ve been striving to drink that much water myself.

Thank goodness his drink of choice is non-alcoholic, inexpensive and easily accessible!
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Let him drink as much water as he wants. Other posts about UTI’s are spot on. Not drinking enough water brings on all kinds of problems. If he can toilet himself, where’s the harm in obsessing about hydration? It doesn’t sound like he’s really going overboard and why do some posters jump to the conclusion that he has dementia, heart failure, etc. There’s nothing in these posts to suggest that his “obsession” is anything other than an overreaction to a recent life threatening situation.
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I am with you GA, I have not added salt to anything for probably 40 years, maybe more.

Same with sugar. This from the daughter of a woman that sugared her tomatoes.
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Countrymouse Feb 2022
It does make them delicious, Glad.

But then so does basil, and leaving them at room temperature for long enough :)
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People do not need to be obsessed with having an adequate hydration. However, it's OK to be aware of the importance of drinking enough liquids every day. Particularly in the elder population. Many UTI's could be prevented if the body is kept properly hydrated. I really don't see any harm in wanting to make sure he gets his proper ration of water to drink. Even if he drinks a little more than 8 glasses. The opposite attitude would be worrisome.
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I see Garden Artist brought up the ever important ingredient of added salt to food or the elimination of that practice.
Salty foods, processed foods, many other food items having sodium that traps fluid in the body. I was taught by a heart transplant institute to severely restrict salt for my mom (who was ever vigilant on watching her salt intake on her own). Of course, salty food increases our thirst.
For a person with dementia, you can’t expect him to remember that he shouldn’t drink too much water, at present he may only know he is thirsty.
Additionally his diet over the last few months will have changed from living alone, being in the hospital, rehab and now at your home. Rehab food is often loaded with all the bad stuff. Some hospital foods the same.
So, saying all that to say his salt content may be greater at your home than at his own or just the opposite. It depends on what he was eating at home.
Worth watching to help him not crave the water or hold too much fluid.

And since he prefers to drink his liquids in the form of water perhaps you could limit foods higher in water content to a degree. Just a thought.
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Hollkh, could it be that he's eating foods that are salty?   Do you prepare his meals?   Do you use salt in your cooking?   If so, can you switch to herbs that are healthier than salt?   (I haven't used salt for at least 2 decades).

Personally, I think CM targeted the issue:   a bad and likely frightening experience has led to overcompensation.  I think though that his ability to rationalize and determine that he won't let this happen again is to his credit.
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97yroldmom Feb 2022
Garden Artist
Thats amazing on the elimination of added salt!
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If I had been left to suffer extreme dehydration while in rehab I think I'd be pretty anxious, too, and not prepared to place much faith in professionals, either. He'll need time to recover from what must have been a traumatic experience, don't you think? Continue with the reassurance but don't ask him to declare himself duly reassured just yet.

I have seen a drinking bottle marked with both mls/fl oz and inspirational little messages at intervals - "drink up!" "keep going!" "you're doing great" "healthy hydration" - down the side. I have to admit it made not the slightest impression on the person who'd been given it but I still thought it was a good idea in principle, and as your father wants reassurance rather than motivation or prompting perhaps he'd like something like this?
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HoLLkh7161 Feb 2022
Thanks for the reply. A bottle with those types of phrases may help him quite a bit. He's calmed down about the drinking issue.
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Almost every senior admitted to hospital has blood work that comes out showing dehydration. We lose our instinctive drive to take fluids. In some hot parts of the country this is a serious problem.
However, for an elder, taking TOO MUCH WATER can be just as serious a problem and a much quicker killer. This is because with age the heart, as a pump weakens and fluid accumulates in the peripheral areas, but worse, in the lungs. This can be an instant killer in cases of left heart failure and is called "flash pulmonary edema". If the senior is obsessed with fluid intake then one should be on watch for signs of fluid overload. Weight should be done daily and three pound gain a worry, assess whether able to breathe easily at rest laying flat. Check legs for pitting edema (you press in thumb or finger and the dent stays there for some seconds).
This is something for you and your senior to discuss with doctor--and to ascertain how much fluid should be taken. If there is dementia at all then it is often difficult when an "obsession" like this takes hold. Wishing you good luck going forward.
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Countrymouse Feb 2022
The OP says Dad is eating and drinking normally. Not that I disagree with you - I'd add that it's quite possible for people of any age to overdo the fluids and land themselves in trouble, and they usually feel aggrieved about it because they thought they were being extra health-conscious.

Moderation in all things, I guess!
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