I’ve been the primary caregiver taking care of an 83-yr old woman who has had several strokes for about 11 months. I had been working four 24-hr shifts back to back (Thursday-Monday), and I do everything! There are three other caregivers: two are in their late 70s with myriad health problems, the other is a full time nanny. We are all paid the same but I have been doing the all grocery shopping, cooking and household work.
Recently I had an unexpected family matter arise and texted my employer (patient’s daughter) Wednesday at 9:40pm asking if it was possible for me to take off the following day I was scheduled for (Thursday 9am) and then come in Friday-Monday as scheduled. I apologized for late hour, and this was the first time in 10 months that I asked for time off with less than 24-hr advance notice. Two hours later she texted back, saying “yes take all the time you need. I’ve got you covered.” She then ignored my texts and phone calls for 2 days. An hour before I was scheduled to work on Saturday she sent me a text saying she didn’t know what my “emergency “ was and, erroneously assuming I was in a hospital or around a lot of people, said I could not go near her mother for 14 days of self-quarantine (I had already been practicing self-quarantine). When I tried to explain that I hadn’t left my home at all, she refused to discuss or reconsider. That would be understandable, had I been sick or exposed to anyone with COVID-19 (I was not). But she then had the three other women take over my 2 weeks, and that’s why I’m mad.
Two of the caregivers are in late 70s, diabetic and have a bunch of health issues, are hard of hearing and are slobs. The 78-yr old has a FT day job cleaning offices; the other woman had not worked for almost a month because of a virus. The other caregiver is a nanny for two families.
So while employer forced me to not work for 2 weeks, she permitted the three employees to continue to take care of her mom!
Employer has only permitted me to work 1/2 if my usual days/hours. There’s no job description or contract, and we are paid under the table. She refuses to discuss this with me at all, and only said she was “so mad” at me for this. Help!!
You have no contract. You are paid under the table, which I'm sure you know is illegal. You have been tolerating an extremely unsatisfactory situation for nearly a year. I'm not clear why you would want it to continue, if indeed you do want it to.
Trying to see it all round - I'm not surprised that your employer was furious at being told at twenty to ten at night that you wouldn't be coming in next day. No doubt it couldn't be helped and it isn't as though you did it deliberately or even carelessly, but from her point of view: a serious headache.
So your employer is a woman living in a home with her elderly disabled mother and child/children. It sounds as if she has a bit of a three-ring circus going on. If she seems to behave badly - not returning calls or texts, not being open-minded or apt to listen, making decisions at random - those could all be explained by the stress she must be under, even if you might feel that some of the stress is of her own making. It isn't necessarily anything personal.
Your opinion of your co-workers, and her seeming "revenge" in giving you so little notice of call cancellation, just make me all the more baffled as to why you've been putting up with this for so long.
So, again, when you say "options" - what sort of options have you in mind?
Yes, I know it’s illegal, and it’s not my choice. She won’t do payroll or taxes - I’ve tried several times to address this.
Daughter does not live with her mom, and rarely visits her. I completely understand her being stressed, and that’s why I contacted her as soon as my daughter’s situation arose. It was the first time i called out in the 19 months I work for her.
I guess all I really wanted a little support and acknowledgement from her, and to be treated fairly. I can see from the responses that I’ve been a fool for working for her.
And while it's fine to get paid 'under the table' as it were, it leaves you completely unprotected from exactly the kind of situation you find yourself in.
Sounds like you have no recourse for keeping this job, and I'm sorry for that. You can continue to try to get the job back or get the daughter to see how much you are needed, but don't get high hopes.
Your next job should be through a bonded, legitimate business. That way you are covered and protected as is the client.
I have to agree with the client on this.. She has only your word on the "self isolating' thing and she has her mom to care for and protect.
Why don't you find a job as a caregiver that is a legal situation? There are many caregiver jobs. You need to be working legally so that you are contributing to social security for your own future.
And I'm paid legally, work for a corporation, etc. I have no rights, so that irritates me too. But there's nothing I can do about it.
You left your employer in the lurch by giving short notice of a need to take time off. That pissed HER off. This is her retaliation. Plus, she has no way of knowing if you DID go out and expose yourself to others, thereby increasing her mother's risk of getting the virus.
The whole situation is a lose-lose for you.
Find another job, I guess. Or move past the irritation if you like working for the woman and are okay with the conditions being what they are.
Best of luck!
The woman's daughter is also in the wrong. She should hire you through a company so that she also has recourse.
Suck it up. After all, you haven't had to pay taxes. And I'm sure four 24-hour shifts in a row is highly illegal. The daughter is clearly putting her mother at risk.