He is alone most days because his ex-wife, whom he lives with, continues to work at 80, not out of financial necessity but her own personal needs. I visit him once a week but that’s not enough interaction. He is in need of a new neurologist. I have given them both the name of a well respect Parkinson’s specialist months ago, but no appt. He depends on her for Drs. and schedule. I feel helpless because she and their 2 sons who live out of town on on his medical directive. Looking for advice. Thank you.
Often being in this state is a case of being between the devil and the deep blue sea. There are many medications that help with balance and often make delusions worse. Then there are medications that help with delusions and hallucinations and make the balance worse. That is to say there is no easy answer and it becomes difficult to assess what drugs or "drug cocktails" work best for any given individual. I am so sorry your brother is going through this and wish you both the best.
Are you saying all 3 of them are his medical PoAs? If they are only his Medical Representatives (as would be assigned by father on the HIPAA form), then they are privy to his medical information, but not legally able to make *decisions* on his behalf. Only a PoA legally makes decisions for someone.
Semantics: a "medical directive" is usually also termed a Living Will or Advance Healthcare Directive. This document only outlines what medical care and procedures the person wishes to have if they become incapacitated. Again, this does not give another person legal authority to make decisions for them. You need to clarify just what documents/authority you think the wife and sons have.
Before talking further to the sons, I would consult with an elder law attorney to see what your options are in this case. Then maybe you can have a diplomatic conversation with them. Maybe they don't really want to be burdened by his care and will be happy to hand it over to someone else.
At 80, his wife certainly could be a candidate for memory and cognitive impairment herself, so this should be a factor to consider in why your Father's care seems lacking.
Your brother should not be left alone IMO.
My friends mother just retired at 90 and is bored. So she is volunteering with disabled children.