My father is 96 years old, WWII vet, with dementia and PTSD. He is at home and currently under Hospice care. My sisters and I take turns to care for him 24/7. Our problem at this time is his refusal to take any sort of medication, whether it is crushed pills in applesauce or liquid form in juice. He is so resistant of this that at one point he threatens to punch the person trying to give the medication. Hospice is getting frustrated with us because we give up giving him his medication, which is for his anxiety, sleeping aid, thrush, and morphine for pain. We don't know what else to do, we are worn out because of his lack of sleep (yells out for us through the night), we are frustrated by his refusal to drink and eat (tells us he is hungry or thirsty but wont eat or drink) and scared/worried of his aggressiveness. Plus he is going through a sexual stage where we have caught him pulling off his diaper and fondling himself or try to pull our hands to touch him down there. We know this is not our father but the dementia. Any advice or suggestion or anything that will help us!
I know its the dementia making him behave this way and he probably thinks the visiting hospice people are probably WWII enemies but it is scary and sad. My father is always kind to the visiting hospice Chaplin though. He seems to soothe him.
He could be lactose intolerant. There are nice dairy free ice creams. It might be worth trying one of those - rice based, coconut based or soy based, I prefer the coconut ones.
I think looking for other ways to deliver the meds would help. I know there are morphine patches and a long lasting injectable form of haloperdal. It might be worth checking into those My mother would not take her anti psychotic by mouth but eventually took the injectable form.
Plus a dairy free ice cream might help with the medications as well.
Thanks!
If any of this does sound like it's worth trying I would suggest collecting yourself, taking some big deep breaths and presenting it to him in a way that allows him, to make the decision it's worth trying. So something like "Dad I was just reading about how they treated thrush before all these medications"..."people are getting back to what worked 50 years ago, what do you think about trying...to see if it might help your mouth?...you know your right it does seem silly that they so easily jump to prescription medications now when we already have most of the things that they used to use 50 years ago, before these meds, in the house. What do you think about giving something like that a try?..." You get the picture, I'm just suggesting finding a way to get him onboard on his own before arguing it out at all. Good Luck!
Ask your Hospice if they would admit him for pain management and symptom relief.
Once the symptoms and pain are under control he can be transported back home.
This is one of the primary goals of Hospice is to manage things like this so the patient and the family are not stressed.
One of the other advantages of Hospice is they will provide respite care...so if they will not admit him for pain and symptom management tell them you need Respite care for him. You get a week of respite.
One other call you can make is to the VA they can also help. The VA also has Hospice although they do work with other Hospice groups. And the VA has the facilities to admit him if the Hospice does not.
Oh there are other methods to administer medications. There are patches, there are also suppositories although in your case that might be a wee bit of a challenge :) (that might be an understatement)
Hospice have shown us multiple ways to give him his medication but even they struggle with him. Once he even swung a punch at the RN and she had my sister hold him down. Sneaking the medication into his food is our only option right now but since his appetite is so irregular, so is his medication.
I think it is hard to swallow with thrush, making it a challenge because he doesn't understand and probably feels thirsty and hungry but can't swallow, I would do some research and try to find something to help him swallow. Being on hospice they won't treat this but you might find something that helps.
I would taste whatever you are trying to give him with the meds, some stuff is soooooo bitter you can't hide it easily. Maybe add some more honey and cinnamon to the apple sauce. If they have given you pills, request liquids and I would check out if the pharmacy can make flavors.
Just some ideas.
If he isn't eating or drinking he is actively dying, that may be what is happening, things are shutting down. Prepare yourself for the end.
May God grant him a peaceful passing and grant you and your family the strength to get through this journey. I am sorry for your loss.
We found that he enjoys strawberry flavored applesauce but after a bite or two, he stops. So we now put his medication in the first spoonful and hope is takes it. Since the medication is liquid morphine for pain and Haloperin(sp) for anxiety, we would be hesitant to taste it, but I like the idea of adding extra sweetener to make it easier for him. He use to have a real good sweet tooth.
Thanks again and may God bless
We have tried all flavors of pudding but he didn't care for it. He does love ice cream but for some reason it gives him diarrhea.