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Mum has vascular and Alzheimer's mixed dementia. I have noticed over the last few weeks she seems to be getting frailer noticeably that is. This last week has been really noticeable and the doctor has been out. UTIs ruled out and no chest infection just her 'usual' headaches but she has had these for as long as I can remember so way over 20 years. She is finding it difficult now to pull up her depends (we have a different name but thats what I mean) and has just taken a tumble - not hurt just a tumble...but is this the start of a new phase?

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Thank you for that smile. May you have strength to fly above the madding crowd;)
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Thanks peeps and a stone is 14 pounds - Baba 16 oz makes a pound and 14 pounds make a stone - God alone knows why we had to adopt something so silly. I tell you if God does exist then he surely is of the male variety - no woman could have made that many cock ups when building a world - I mean who except a man would put an a$$hole in that ridiculous place and why does poo have to be so messy - in fact why do we have to have food for fuel? - why can't we just ingest food and then open a flap at the side and remove it ...that way we would have gotten the pleasure of eating if we wanted to but we wouldn't be reliant on it, exactly why do we have to have babies in such an undignified position - A woman would have created a zipper structure somewhere unobtrusive and then when the time came whoop unzip and deliver.

OH Baba? I know ALL about SAGGING (lol not so much about shagging!)

But then again a man can mow the lawn (Yup I can too but why (when I was married) would I have a dog and bark myself (maybe that's why I am divorced))

I love the notice board I saw yesterday it said.

WOMEN NEVER WORK AS HARD AS MEN

It was hanging down from the ceiling as you continued (inwardly seething) the next hanging notice said -

WOMEN DO IT PROPERLY THE FIRST TIME - love it

On my return down the same aisle I noticed that the boards were reversible

MANS COMMENT TO HIS WIFE.......THERE INS'T A PROBLEM IN THE WORLD THAT A BEER CANT SOLVE

WOMAN'S REPLY....ALCOHOLISM?
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Sagging I know about. Is a stone 16 pounds? Falcon, I don't know how you keep the plates spinning, but you do.
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aw falc - I am glad you shopped for you. Lacey olive green sounds lovely, pink would suit your colouring well, Love lemon yellow - just bought myself a new top in that colour - very flattering to the complexion, and I looove turquoise. Fell out of a tube top once while gardening - never wore one again! You are going strapless??? Wow. My claim to fame was going braless to my mother's 100th bday do at the church hall. I hadn't tried the dress on with the bra I had with me and it showed. R sized up the situation and told me to go braless. That was a bit much for a church hall do, and definitely would have been too much for mother, so I zipped up my jacket to a safe level and no one knew except us. :-D

I lived in England and Scotland (St Andrews U) for over 7 years so I know what shag means. Salad days...

Glad the staff are good, and, even though the room mates leave something to be desired, they aren't the worst.. "Chinese" gave me a laugh. A stone in 3 weeks is quite a lot. Hope they get her somewhat stabilized. At least they know what they are dealing with now. I guess the sudden dive was due to this progressing. You were right to be alarmed.

Keep doing little, and once in a while, big things for you. It really won't make that big a difference to your mother and it will make a huge difference to you. ((((((hugs))))))
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On the positive side I went shopping today and bought 5 tee shirts for your equivalent of $5 each and they were really nice ones - not ones you can see straight through. One is olive green with a lace yoke, one is wavy stripes in pink, one is lemon quite plain but a lovely material and the other one is a turquoise boob tube - I am told I mustn't get strap line although heaven alone knows who would ever see them!!!
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Oh gold if only I could Mum has lost a stone in weight in the last 3 weeks and I am not sure how much longer her heart will take that sort of strain. I just know deep inside me it will happen when I am on holiday but I have been wrong before.

She has been moved back onto a main ward because she has no infection so she is at least out of isolation but they have put her between a woman who died about 10 minutes after mum got there and one who doesn't look like she will make it through the night and across from her is another patient who clearly has a serious liver malfunction given how yellow she is. All in all not a ward conducive to feeling good at all but hey it is free so I can't complain and the staff are very good for the most part.

One small smile in all of this bless her Mum thought the lady with the liver issue was Chinese.

At least she is not in the ward with woman who screams virtually non stop - I couldn't handle that I know - she says 4 things: I want a new social worker; heeeeeeelp me; I'm dying and last but not least I've shagged that man (if you don't have the word shag in your vocabulary Im sorry I aint explaining it!!!)
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(((((((jude)))))) How are you and how is your mum? I hope you are getting more info from the drs. re your mum's condition. Hearing such a diagnosis must be very scary. I suspect her prognosis depends on how far along she is and what the doctors, all things considered, feel is a suitable course of action. Do keep us updated. You are spinning many plates at the same time. Do give yourself some small breaks when you can.
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Ooops, off topic. But my husband's behavior has taken a sudden dive, so I decreased his stress, re-examined his vitamin supplements as he is not a good candidate for many meds. We have ridden these episodes out before by giving it time, if I just don't panic.
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Dear husband? Disabled husband? Dementia? So many choices. I really don't know.
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Glad, shhh! You are so right. If friends here want to find their friend after making major changes, just enter the previous name that you knew them by. Strangers are not going to read each detail of our posts, like this one. They are also not going to know what a person's prior handle was. If they join up just to find out, that will become readily apparent. If we ourselves get confused at some posts, think how confused a stranger will get. We already are good at speaking in some code. I'm embarrased, but what does DH mean? Does it mean dear husband, because if it does, I sometimes have trouble relating to that title. Also, it took some time to realize some were addressing their comments to me because I did not recognize my own screen name, hahaha! Ok, is this confusing enuff already, but clear to the ones who needed the information? Enter it into the search bar.
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Hi gersh - trying to stay anonymous here - I'll pm you
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Hey Golden whereabouts in Canada are you? I'm from Vancouver.
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Look for the second source of senna.
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Jude, I have wondered where you went. I am so sorry your mum is doing poorly. No one can say how each person plays out their ending days. My mom, my last husband and now my partner all passed in quiet ways. However, they had a few things in common. They stopped talking, eating but were thirsty. I used the sponge sticks to keep their mouths clear and let them suck on the water. But, I had to be careful as they could choke to death and that would be horrible. My husband just wanted water so bad. My mom could have cared less. My partner had so much mucus that I had to continue to clean out his mouth. I felt so bad for him. I told the dr, I think he had a lung issue and that was what caused the mucus. But, he disagreed with me. But again, they all stopped talking and eating the last few days. It took them about two to three days after that to pass.We just had to keep them comfortable with the pain killers and massages etc. I think your mom is still getting around, or at least thats what it sounds like. Once my Partner was on hospice, he never got out of bed again, except for one time when he slid out trying to get tot he bathroom. Silly guy. Had to have the cathater reinserted. OUCH.
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Falc - I sympathise. I was afraid of horses most of my life and I hadn't gone through what you did. It is just that they are bigger than me, and they know it, and I know it, and I know that they know it. Then fast forward - met R ( G so you know - part of my new info) and was around them more, but still very cautious. One day we went into a pasture and I found myself surrounded by a dozen or so friendly, inquisitive mares. By that time, by watching R, I had learned to move slowly and deliberately and let them do their thing and it was fine and I was OK. I never thought I would see the day... I have a few more horse stories that happened along the way I will share sometime. Glad you had a good experience with Bob, I actually bonded with a beautiful black mare - lovely experience.
Saw that you love the US and their people. I will put a plug in here for Canada and Canadians, eh!
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Gold he is beautiful and I am terrified of horses ever since i got thrown when I was about 5 - I say thrown more thrown and dragged for about 100 yards, I haven't been near one since except for one very old horse called Bob who was soon sweet natured I fed him carrots every day while in Colorado
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G's special stallion. and a beautiful horse. I don't mind the changes.. I had been thinking of going more anonymous anyway.
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Love the horse Golden, just figured out who you are. Is he/she one of the herd?
I can't stand these name changes
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btw YOU are NOT narcissistic!
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(((((falc)))) don't castigate yourself. I have made lots of incorrect assumptions. I am sure we all have. You didn't cause it and right now they have to deal with it. If you are able to get mum into respite and get away - do it and DON'T WORRY about your mum. She is in as good hands as there are available, apart from yours, and you need a break. You sound exhausted. Too much going on!!! Remember I am golden now - gold for short if you like. The name of the horse is Golden Rivers - the other name could identify me. ((((((hugs))))))
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NAh emjo she was booked into one of my allocated weeks respite now not only will I lose that respite AND have to pay for it I won't be able to replace it with another week later.

I am more drained now than I have been in weeks
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!8 days she has been in hospital and when I found the senna I was sure that was it but no she is back to diarrhoea again we had a brief respite from it yesterday but today back to same old same old and they don't know why, We is myself my daughter and my grandson (My daughter's nephew) I was hoping for a rest but right now I don't even want to go on holiday if all I am going to do is worry about Mum.

Now I feel guilty for calling her a fraudster too and now I feel narcissistic not her. Maybe I am just tired
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(((((((falc))))). I hate - absolutely hate - when mother's antics seriously screw up plans. I think for us that is a thing of the past now, but I am still a little guarded. Praying for you that all goes well - move to the new place, holiday and all. Did I read "we" re your holiday? I hope the "we" does not mean mum goes with you.
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oh...so sorry if I messed the name change stuff up !!! I wasn't thinking...
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I was worried too ! Miss the pretty picture of you Jude....although Falcons are cool too. Hope Mom is doing better---you too !
Good to hear from you all ! We are all connected more than we realize ;-)) How fortunate.
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Shhh! Now she will have to change her name again!
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Aha. Falcon is Jude! Jude, i was worried about you!
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I was confused as well as to who Falcon is, wondering where what I now know as her first screen name disappeared to (excuse the awkward wording).

Falcon, is this the same hospitalization that began a few weeks ago?
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Ah, i see. Ignore my previous question. I'm confused about who you are.

If mom needs to stay in hospital, she stays there without you.
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48hours^
\
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