If I decide to move my mom to another facility, how difficult is it for them to handle the move?
My mom has been at her current facility for 4 months. I decided to placed her on hospice to get more help, since this place is struggling with staff. She has lost 13 pounds in 1 month. My mom is not underweight, but if she keeps losing she will be. Every time I have ask them how my mom is doing they never tell me she’s not a good eater. I found this out yesterday, when I met with the hospice nurse.
I don't obsess over her calorie intake anymore like I used to. She was not underweight then and she isn't now but these big drops so quick weren't right. She is 91 and on hospice (though I'm beginning to wonder if she'll qualify next time) and I can request the order be dropped any time that's appropriate with her disease progression.
Are they making food that's easy for mom to eat? I watched aides in the hospital and rehab put my mom's meals down in front of her with the lid still on the plate and never remove it. During her heightened confusion in these places, she wasn't sure sometimes that food was under there. I'd open it and it'd be a dried up chicken breast and there was no appropriate utensil to cut it. Dry rice would fall through the fork tines. My mom had the hardest time eating and she'd just give up. I couldn't be there every single meal to help her and me bringing it up to the charge nurse either fell on deaf ears or who knows where the actual failures occurred. One time I came in after breakfast had come and gone and mom was sitting up in bed with the still-covered meal in front of her. Another time they served a cheeseburger and it was all deconstructed on the plate with condiment packets on the side. You expect her to build this herself?! Refused meals? NO! She has delirium for chrissakes! Help her! I can feel my blood pressure rising just thinking about those incidents.
So, just a little tip based on my personal experience... be there at some of the times they serve meals and see for yourself if there's an explanation why she's dropping weight.
You say she's only in "mid stage dementia" so I'm guessing there must be a lot more going on here than what you're sharing.
As far as moving her, please know that folks with any of the dementias do best with routine, and moving her and disrupting her routine will be very hard at first, but hopefully she will settle in eventually into her new routine.
Hospice typically has a nurse to come visit and check vitals once a week to start and aides to come at least twice a week to bathe your loved one. That totals about 2-3 hours a week total, so do know that 99% of moms care will still fall on those in her facility.
Please don't be misguided into thinking that hospice is going to supply all this extra help, when in fact it won't.
My late husband was under hospice care in our home for the last 22 months of his life and hospice truly did the bare minimum when to came to his care while I got to do 99% of it. His nurse came once a week to start for about a half hour to check his vitals, and the aides came twice a week to bathe him which may have taken them 45 minutes if that.
The only time that I think hospice does a really good job is when one is placed in one of their hospice homes, and when the person is actively dying. Then you get pretty much get round the clock care.
Other than that it's hit or miss.
I would think long and hard before making this major move for your mom, as she can always go under hospice care where she's at now when the time is right.
But again remember, hospice is not much extra help in the big picture of things.
I’m making all these decisions alone, and I’m trying to ensure my mom is receiving proper care.
hospice sounded like a good idea, now I’m not sure.
I'm wondering about your mom's age and health conditions before we can give you the best information we can.
Hospice is end of life. What is wrong with Mom that Hospice excepted her.
You hire an ambulette service to bring Mom . Don’t bring her there yourself , she may refuse to get out of the car .
You will have to move all her belongings .
I suspect she will act similar to when you placed her the first time , since it’s only been 4 months . Typically , moves are discouraged , because they can upset , confuse them .But it doesn’t sound like Mom is loving it there anyway , she’s not going to activities , no friends maybe too .
In your case you are not happy and have found a facility with a better staff ratio .
FWIW though , in general assisted living is not like a hospital or even skilled nursing home .
You need to keep on top of things , they are not staffed like a hospital so they will miss things.
You may have better luck with the better staff ratio for what you have complained about .
Good Luck .
My husband just did that this past January for his father when he was in assisted living.
And that she will no longer be taken to the hospital for any reason unless you cancel your contract with hospice prior?
Hospice is end of life care, and it's meant for the patient to be kept comfortable and pain free until they die.
The Hospice Social worker can also help with this.
If you like the Hospice that you have chosen make sure that they go to the facility that you are moving mom to.
She is higher functioning, she knows what she wants and doesn’t want. She has a walker and wheelchair, but refuses both, so she walks around without both.
She can feed herself.
She is articulate, even though are conversations that we have don’t make sense. (Example, the other day when I saw her she asked me if I ended up ordering the cookies that I wanted and what did I order. None of this was true, but I just went along with what she was asking).
She needs help with showering.
She is not fully incontinent, urinary incontinence.
She doesn’t do the activities they have there. Once in a while she does.
My mom is feisty or maybe she’s just stubborn.
I never can get the full picture on what’s going on with my mom from this current facility. I met with the executive director and director yesterday and I felt I was being gaslight when talking about the lack of staff. They don’t build relationships with the residents, my mom was gravely ill back in April and had to spend a week in the hospital and just recently she had a UTI and no one noticed anything was wrong with her.
I’m mentally tired of arguing with these people, so that’s why I’m going the hospice route for now. She will be visited by hospice 4 times per week.
The place I thought of moving her to is small 20 memory care residents. Right now the ratio for caregiver/resident is 1:5. And the don’t count the LPN in that ratio. I’m scared to move her because I don’t know how difficult it would be on her to do so.
I am very fortunate to work with a hospice group that provides excellent care in several respects. I wish you all such an experience should you or your loved ones require hospice care.
I have attached a link from Medicare.gov that opens to a booklet that explains hospice. It explains the ability to go on and off hospice as desired and to stay on hospice so long as the patient is deemed terminal with an illness they could die from within six months if the illness runs its normal course and how they can stay on hospice indefinitely if they still meet the criteria.
I agree with Way that some hospice providers are better than others as not all hospice companies will provide all the services Medicare lists as benefits…Such as Physical therapy.
Although I was able to get that while aunt was at home, just not in the NH except when off hospice. This offered just as an example.
Kayla I do hope you will return and give us an update on your mom. I promise to behave. 😇
https://www.medicare.gov/Pubs/pdf/02154-medicare-hospice-benefits.pdf
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