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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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So why is this a problem? Do you know why not, is this a power struggle, does she have mobility issues that make it difficult, does she dislike the person cutting her hair, has she developed a fear of the salon? Is she still shampooing at home to keep clean? If you can keep her clean there a lots of ways to keep her hair tidy without cutting it short.
It's a problem, because she won't wash it either. Lucky her she has a full head of coarse curly hair, and it's becoming matted. She will not bathe either. I have not been able to get her into the shower for several months. She has very bad OCD problems and people touching her is on the list. Occasionally she will let the cosmetologist daughter of a friend cut it, but I am not sure she will even do that now.
There are lots and lots of posts from people with the same problems you have with bathing, you might want to search the site to see what others have written, often you need to be a detective to get to the bottom of their fear/reluctance and find a solution. Do you think she would agree to one of the no water/no rinse products available? In the long run she may need some medical help to control her OCD.
Dealing with family members who have dementia can be quite challenging, especially, if you are doing it alone in the home. Is that the case?
Often the person with dementia avoids things like bathing or has an obsession with something that makes no sense to us. Dementia may also enhance OCD. My cousin had this thing about wanting to keep her tennis shoes on all the time. Even in bed! I had to beg her to let me take her shoes off. Sometimes, I would let her keep them on, but then I felt it was not healthy, because her feet were staying damp too long, so I just went over and took them off and talked about what we were going to do the next day. By distracting her and not giving her the time to object, she accepted it and the problem went away pretty quickly.
You might try the girl that she has used before. If she has a winning personality, it might work. I might approach it as a very special opportunity, and say, OH, you have a hair appointment. I'm jealous. You get to be pampered. How nice is that. and then start the cut. I might not give a lot of advance warning. I wouldn't say things like you have to do this. And I wouldn't sound defeated.
Plus, look around on this site. There are many threads where others have discussed methods to get people bathed who are resisting due to dementia. Hiring a bath aid is one option. It seems that family members have more trouble with bathing dementia patients than professionals do. When in Memory Care, they just get their baths. I'm not sure what the key is.
And I agree with the idea upthread about medication. I'd discuss it with her doctor. Medication can really help with some conditions. Does she take anything for anxiety? That might help is she is just too anxious.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Is she still shampooing at home to keep clean? If you can keep her clean there a lots of ways to keep her hair tidy without cutting it short.
Often the person with dementia avoids things like bathing or has an obsession with something that makes no sense to us. Dementia may also enhance OCD. My cousin had this thing about wanting to keep her tennis shoes on all the time. Even in bed! I had to beg her to let me take her shoes off. Sometimes, I would let her keep them on, but then I felt it was not healthy, because her feet were staying damp too long, so I just went over and took them off and talked about what we were going to do the next day. By distracting her and not giving her the time to object, she accepted it and the problem went away pretty quickly.
You might try the girl that she has used before. If she has a winning personality, it might work. I might approach it as a very special opportunity, and say, OH, you have a hair appointment. I'm jealous. You get to be pampered. How nice is that. and then start the cut. I might not give a lot of advance warning. I wouldn't say things like you have to do this. And I wouldn't sound defeated.
Plus, look around on this site. There are many threads where others have discussed methods to get people bathed who are resisting due to dementia. Hiring a bath aid is one option. It seems that family members have more trouble with bathing dementia patients than professionals do. When in Memory Care, they just get their baths. I'm not sure what the key is.
And I agree with the idea upthread about medication. I'd discuss it with her doctor. Medication can really help with some conditions. Does she take anything for anxiety? That might help is she is just too anxious.