Mother lives in an independent living home in which there is a resident with dementia who openly exhibits violent behavior. What recourse does my mother have?

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Mother lives in an independent living home in which there is a resident with dementia who openly exhibits violent behavior. What recourse does my mother have?

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What are her rights? The violent resident has hit the back of a resident while waiting for the elevator, then lashed out verbally when caregiver told her to stop. She also has the dining attendant to pour coffee in a glass. Attendant told her the glass might break from the heat of the coffee. The resident then threatened her with a fork and caused a mild abrasion.

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Violent residents need to be professionally assessed (by an outside source) and possibly moved to a locked down facility. We had a couple in the AL here and they hurt and frightened both residents and staff, causing a couple to quit. Finally were sent to the state locked down facility. Not fair to any of the others to keep them and not safe.

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Have you talked with the director of the facility?

Independent Living facilities are governed by the same laws as other apartment buildings in most places. They are not regulated by the State.

Sit down with the director and indicate that your mother feels threatened by this individual's behavior. Find out if they have a plan in place to fix this situation and what the timeline is, "so that I can reassure my mother that this is not going to go on much longer". Follow up this conversation with a written communication, sent return receipt requested, documenting what your mother has witnessed and the fact that she feels afraid and intimidated.

If there is not a resolution or response, I'd follow up with another written communication, with a CC to your lawyer and the corporate office of the the management company.

If the management shows no inclination to fix the issue, I'd start looking for another place.

If your mother feels directly threatened, I'd tell her to call 911.

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Take the advice from BarbBrooklyn. She said exactly what needs to be done based on your info. Sometimes it sucks to be in a situation that forces you to leave a place you like. But safety is the most important aspect. I think calling 911 a couple of times ought to get management's attention.

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I would be concerned that if mother calls 911 she might get the brush-off from call handlers thinking she's just a dotty little old lady.

But what on earth do the ILF's administrators have to say for themselves about this? Is the resident new and having trouble settling? Or is it new behaviour on the part of an established member of the community?

Your mother should make a formal complaint, as should any other residents who have witnessed these behaviours; and I agree that you should help her follow it through to a satisfactory outcome.

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I think you should definitely speak to management, and repeatedly use the specific words, "My mother does not feel safe." It's possible they need a complaint from a resident in order to take formal action. Keep a record of your meeting(s), phone calls, etc.

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(My comment above is based on my experience as a tenant. If the residence falls under tenancy laws, as others suggest, safety complaints from tenants give them grounds to evict. I got rid of a pedophile in my building by telling the management, "I don't feel safe," even though I don't personally have kids.)

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My mother, unfortunately, was the combative one. If she felt threatened in any way, she would lash out. The nursing home first tried putting her in her own room. Eventually, she wound up on the lockdown floor, with an occasional roommate and under the very watchful eye of the staff.

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There is a Federal Bill of Rights for residents of nursing homes. I'm not sure if it would apply in the home you describe. I'd likely speak with the director and get info and reassurances as to what is being done pronto. And if necessary take it further. All of the homes that I am aware of having state regulation agencies that monitor and regulate the facility. There are also Ombudsman that may be available, whose job is to advocate the needs of the resident.

How do you know the events occurred as reported to you? If a person with dementia reported it, I'd get independent confirmation, as their account could be flawed due to dementia or it could be a delusion.

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Joyjoy's mom reportedly suffers depression, not dementia. However, yes, one should seek validation that these events are actually happening.

When my mom was in IL there was a resident with fairly severe dementia who had a one to one aide with her at all times. It was my understanding that this person had previously lashed out at staff and residents.

Management sought to evict her but agreed to let her stay if family paid for a private aide with her at all times.

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I didn't mean to sound sceptical about mother's version of events at all, no reason to think they're anything but accurate. Call me cynical, but I just meant to anticipate a regrettably common reaction of outsiders to receiving reports from older people and how frustrating it might be for her if that were to happen. Alas.

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Thank you all for your feedback. Your responses are very helpful, and I will contact the director in writing. The lady with dementia in this IL home does have a caregiver with her at all times. She is even threatened the caregiver (I was waiting for the elevator and witnessed this incident). The second incident occurred at breakfast in front of staff and other residents, and was relayed to my sister who arrived shortly thereafter.

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It's my understanding that incidents of violence are required to be written up and kept on file. So, you should have some backup on your side. There are also sometimes video tapes of common areas. They might prove useful.

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Mother lives in an independent living home in which there is a resident with dementia who openly exhibits violent behavior. What recourse does my mother have?

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